When women's groups band together to make their men sober

STORY BY AMITHA AMRANAND, PHOTOS BY YINGYONG UN-ANONGRAK

Boonsri Jaimano once earned 150 baht a day delivering gas tanks. Most of his earnings, if not all, went into filling his stomach with alcohol. His wife, Junya Jaimano, on no more than 20 baht a day, fed the stomachs of her husband and their young daughters with whatever she could find along the canal near their home in the Ha Thanwa (December 5) community. Boonsri often complained about the food. Junya could only tolerate his behaviour for a few days before she lost patience. And when that happened, they would begin to quarrel and Junya would end up getting hit by her inebriated husband. She had often thought about suicide, but there were her two daughters to consider.

A few months after the birth of his second daughter, Boonsri was tricked by two female community leaders into joining an anti-drinking and anti-domestic violence campaign, with much reluctance. Today, Boonsri has been sober for more than seven years. Gone forever is the front tooth that he lost when he drunkenly carried his then eight-month-old eldest daughter into the bathroom, slipped and smacked his tooth on his daughter's forehead.

His relationships with his wife and his first daughter, who was sent to live with her aunt at 16 - until Boonsri's drinking problem improved - have gotten better. Boonsri now drives a red song taew for a living. The vehicle will soon be in his name as the instalment plan is almost complete. Boonsri and his family now own a house, which they recently finished renovating. Junya says she is now able to face society, something she avoided when her husband roamed the neighbourhood as a drunkard.

In Chiang Mai's `Ha Thanwa' (December 5) and Fah Mai communities, women clean up the abusive habits of men and strive for equality.

The men and women of Chiang Mai's December 5 community are no strangers to alcoholism and its violent ramifications. According to Pun-Ngarm "Mae Pung" Sommana, one of the community leaders, liquor stores once lined the soi where the community is located. A number of men begin drinking at a very young age, following examples of the older men in their families. Since the community is made up of working class families, economic constraints, lifestyle and social habits only aggravate their dependence on the substance.

"Everyone once hoped to sell liquor. And everyone who bought it was from the community. It's convenient. They buy it there; they get drunk there. And if there's a problem, there are family members and friends around to help control the situation. However, if they get drunk outside of the community, then there's no one to protect them. Some people weren't happy when I asked them to stop selling liquor," said Mae Pung.

Since the start of the anti-drinking and anti-domestic violence campaign in 2002, by Mae Pung and Rattana Boonyarat of the neighbouring Fah Mai community, various alcohol-related problems suffered by community members have been tackled more systematically. Consequently, the campaign has improved the health, living, economic and social conditions for many of the community residents. Currently, there are 40 alcoholics, seven of whom are women, participating in the campaign.

Tough, determined, patient and unconditionally kind, Mae Pung has been dealing with violent intoxicated men since childhood.

"My father was very abusive. He was drunk all the time. My mother was a rural teacher. She was someone who tried to make society better. My father sometimes helped my mum, but when he got drunk, he was a totally different person. He used force. He didn't listen to anyone. He hit everyone. But when he was sober he was such a fair man," she recalled.

When Mae Pung first came to Chiang Mai, situated on Wualai Road along the outer city wall, the community was considered a slum replete with thorn bushes that muggers used as a hiding place. The five rai of land where the December 5 community now occupies belongs to the State Property Bureau, while the city wall is under the supervision of the Fine Arts Department. As a result, people from rural areas flooding into the city to find jobs and settle down in old Chiang Mai, faced constant eviction threats from government officials.

From a dusty tract that turned into knee-high deep mud during the monsoon season, it is now a paved road. The settlers fought to stay on the land by cleaning the unpaved streets and surrounding canals. The December 5 community, together with 37 other communities were able to negotiate with authorities to stay on the land. On the fifth of December, 1988, HM the King's birthday, the community project was formed. The community believes it is because of the monarch that they can be where they are today, hence the name. All of the work to improve the lives of the community members is dedicated to the King.

As the president of the December 5 Women Development Group, Mae Pung has spearheaded several projects to help elevate the status of women. The community now has a day nursery, which enables single and/or working mothers to work in the city. The credit union, set up in 1994 to help build financial security and provide loans to community members, is run by women. It began with 25 members and less than 2,000 baht in reserve. Everything was done by hand and paper. The staff initially worked without a single calculator and, for three years, without salary. Today the credit union has over 1,300 members, the majority of whom are women.

Mae Pung began combating violence against women in her community using nothing but pure leadership instinct, common sense and a man's pride to work against him.

"Women used to knock on my door because their husbands beat them. I had to hide them in my house ...

"I started by talking to the women: 'If your husband is drunk, don't do anything to provoke him.' Women didn't dare tell anyone else. We went in there to console the women. Sometimes we told the men to tone it down. Sometimes we threatened them, yelled at them. Sometimes we went in to help the women yell at their husbands. We just helped each other ...

"Some of the men stopped beating their wives because they were afraid that I would put a sign in front of their house to embarrass them. I tried everything to stop the men from drinking, like talking to them directly," Mae Pung said.

Even after years of work to get men to quit drinking - with some success stories - many of them still get defensive when approached by female community leaders about their drinking habits. "Who are you to tell me to stop drinking? Even my own father can't stop me," is not an uncommon reply that Mae Pung and Rattana receive from men. Yet, Mae Pung never considers anybody in her community a lost cause no matter how many times they have tried and failed.

On the day of the interview, a few inebriated men, former alcoholics and their families sat in Mae Pung's office. As a participant of the campaign, who has suffered a relapse after one year of sobriety, was talking of his struggle to quit, Mae Pung chimed in: "He's got ideals. He's got a good mind, but his will is weak. He's the most difficult case, but a case we never let go. If you are able to help one person, then you can get more people on board to help you."

In 2002, the December 5 and Fah Mai communities joined the Friends of Women Foundation research project, "Alcohol as the contributing factor to domestic violence". The initiative led to the launch of the communities' on-going campaign against alcohol abuse and domestic violence, and the establishment of the centre for women and children designed to help victims of alcoholism and violence. The centre not only focuses on providing addicts and their families a support system through intensive case studies, but provides support groups where fellow addicts meet regularly to share their experiences, which acts as a link between the sufferers of marital abuse and relevant legal agencies. The centre offers youngsters preventive cultural programmes by engaging them in theatre activities and Lanna fiddle music, and healing for victims of abuse through spiritual methods, according to their beliefs.

In their fight to better the lives of women and men - which cannot be tackled alone - Mae Pung and Rattana enlist the men of the community to join them in working towards a healthier living condition and equality. Some of the men who have been able to remain sober return to participate in the anti-drinking programme, using their success stories to inspire others who are still struggling with their addiction; some of whom become leaders of the project.

Banjerd Rattanamalikul of Fah Mai community has been sober for two years. The father of two and grandfather of three children began drinking since he was 26. He has always worked alongside monks, accompanying them on their alms rounds. Banjerd's old job put him in constant contact with death, as he transported dead bodies to the cemetery - some of whom were his drunken neighbours. And it was Buddhism, fear of death and his deteriorating health that made Banjerd decide to overcome his drinking habit. Today he's an active leader in the campaign. He said his life has turned from black to white. He has gained back his weight. More people approach him and he is more efficient in everything he does.

"I just want to help other people around me. We're not alone in this world."