If someone had said 40 years ago that one day I would be eating bananas from my own garden I would have thought they were ... well, bananas. But that was the case last week, and very nice the bananas were too. There's definitely something satisfying about consuming something from your own garden that is also supposed to be good for you. When I was a kid, the banana was still regarded as something of an exotic fruit because you couldn't grow them in England. Despite this, they weren't too expensive. They had became very popular at the turn of the 20th century thanks to a vigorous campaign by the chief importers, Elders and Fyffes. The phrase "Have a banana" became a household expression. One of the most popular songs in those days was Let's All Go Down The Strand, and for some unexplained reason, after the first line people would sing "Have a banana", even though it wasn't in the original lyrics. Elders and Fyffes encouraged the playing of the song because it was virtually a free advertisement for their fruit.
According to Nigel Rees in his book Slogans and Catchphrases, Fyffes' most popular advertising slogan once again had a song to thank.
Yes! We Have No Bananas was released in the early 1920s and became a big hit. It didn't take long for Fyffes to latch onto this and put up posters at fruiterers with the phrase "Yes! We Have No Bananas! On Sale Here."
Songs with a peel
For reasons which don't really need explaining, the banana has certain sensual overtones and the song I Have Never Seen A Straight Banana became very popular among music hall audiences and at the same time helped boost banana sales in the UK. For the musically inclined the lyrics include:
"I have never, never, never, never, I've never seen a straight banana.
I guess I must admit
That I have searched quite a bit.
They're even curved when they are served in my banana split."
Probably the least said the better about Louis Prima's big hit Please Don't Squeeze Da Banana.
During my schooldays in the early 1960s there was an extremely popular banana advertisement featuring a large banana half peeled with the rather cheeky slogan "Unzip a banana!" Some felt this was a bit naughty, but most people simply enjoyed the joke.
Day-oh and all that
The banana is a versatile fruit and has featured in a lot of songs. Probably the most popular was Harry Belafonte's version of the Banana Boat Song, recorded in 1956.
Sometimes known as the "Day-oh!" song, it is still chanted at baseball games when the crowd is getting restless and want to remind the players that "daylight come and me wanna go home". The fruit also featured in one of the more bizarre headlines I have seen in the Bangkok Post. About 15 years ago we were greeted by "Banana Accused Of Sex Offence", which you must admit is a bit more interesting than your everyday headline. It was referring to an African politician by the name of Mr Banana who was accused of most unbanana-like behaviour.
Another versatile fruit is the orange, as witnessed by a headline from Northern Ireland "Troops Watch Orange March". While on the subject of fruit and veg, I remember once seeing a headline in the British publication Sunday Sport which read "Lovesick Gardener Marries Lettuce" in which "wedding guests took their places among rows of beans and bunches of carrots".
Oldie but goodie
We often see "banana skin" mentioned in stories where anything from a sports team to a government faces a potentially awkward situation that could embarrass them. But do people actually physically slip up on banana skins? Apparently so. An estimated 300 people a year in Britain suffer accidents caused by stepping on a banana skin. So it's no joke, although the traditional visual sketch of someone slipping up on a banana skin still prompts hearty laughs. I recall sitting in a restaurant in Bangkok a few years ago with some Thai friends watching an old Benny Hill sketch. It featured the comedian being chased in fast forward mode, by lots of half-naked women over hills, down dales, across streets, past supermarkets and through parks until he eventually hides behind a tree. The women don't see him and all run past. Hill, finally safe, emerges from behind the tree looking very pleased with himself for his great escape, only to immediately fall flat on his backside after stepping on a banana skin. The whole restaurant collapsed into laughter, and it was encouraging to know the banana-skin joke is still appreciated. In Thailand anyway.
The price is right
There is something about bananas that can get people into trouble. In the US the fruit is sometimes used as a nickname for a dollar. A few years ago in Connecticut a car dealer advertised an old vehicle in the local paper as costing "1,395 bananas", meaning dollars.
The next day a woman showed up at his garage with 25 ripe bananas. When he told her to "go away" - or words to that effect - she became extremely upset and began proceedings to sue him for false advertising. Justice being what it is, the judge ruled in her favour. So she trotted down to the market, returned with the remaining 1,370 bananas and collected the car. Meanwhile, the car dealer spent the next few weeks eating banana fritters for dessert.
- Contact PostScript via email at oldcrutch@hotmail.com
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