POST SCRIPT
Roger Crutchley
Visitors to Thailand - if there are any - may have been puzzled in the past week or so at the sight of many local people buried under layers of sweaters and assorted jackets you would normally associate with more temperate climes. By Thai standards it's been a bit on the chilly side, even though it's the sort of weather that would have people in Britain sprinting for the nearest beach. As I write this, the Bangkok Post weather forecast for the Central region reads somewhat bizarrely "Cold 18C-30C." What more can you say? Brrrr!
It's a good conversation piece if nothing else. The other morning the missus was shivering over the stove in what looked like her North Pole expedition outfit, while Crutch was already working up a sweat after the traditional totter and lurch down the stairs. "Naow (it's cold)," she said, giving a little grimace. "Naow," I agreed as another bead of sweat dripped on the floor. "Naow mahk," she added. "Naow mahk", I agreed. We'd be great on a talk show.
My dogs are less appreciative of the cooler weather and have seemingly decided that barking at it will make it go away. That's great, I've got two dogs which wag their tails at burglars but bark at the weather.
At least the cooler conditions seem to have had the desired effect on the red shirts and yellow shirts, albeit temporarily. It's certainly a relief to escape all that hot air that's been floating about for the past few months. But I fear there's plenty more to come. Tomorrow could be fun!
Fashionable times
One suspects that the most important function of the cooler weather is that it gives Thai people, particularly the ladies, the chance to wear something a bit different. After all, it gets a bit boring walking around in short sleeves and light clothes the whole year. It is an opportunity to give the old sua naow an airing, or even better, an excuse to buy a new one even though the sweater will only be worn for a few days a year. When we were in England in October my missus was buried under thick woolies every time we went out and she loved it, but was disappointed there wasn't any snow. Of course the week after we left the snowflakes fell.
Some like it Hot
More than two centuries ago Dr Samuel Johnson famously commented: "When two Englishmen meet, their first talk is of the weather." It is probably still true - it beats politics for a start. In England many people actually watch or listen to the weather forecast which is probably not the case in Thailand, and you can't blame them. For most of the year the weather here is much the same, a variation on hot, very hot and bloody hot, although apparently in the winter of 1970-71 the temperature in Bangkok fell to 9C. I was relatively new here at the time and probably thought it was quite warm.
In the north of Thailand it of course gets much cooler. A few years ago at the annual beauty contest in Fang district of Chiang Mai, only half the normal number of contestants showed up owing to a particularly harsh cold spell. "Naow," they all said, or words to that effect. Now that must have been seriously cold - nothing is normally allowed to interrupt a Thai beauty contest. It was suggested at the time that they should move the contest to another Chiang Mai district with the more comforting name of Hot.
The paper boy
Coming from England I know what it's like to feel cold, although it is still relatively mild compared to some countries. I did a paper round as a teenager for about three years in the 1960s and do not have particularly fond memories of the winter months. It took uncharacteristic levels of willpower to rise with the wrath of the alarm clock at 6am in the depths of winter, especially in a house which had no central heating. The first five minutes would be spent hovering over a gas fire trying to thaw out, waiting for the kettle to boil for the lifesaving cup of tea.
I fell off the pushbike several times on the icy roads while doing the rounds, but the only thing that hurt was my pride. I only persevered with the paper round because there was a cute girl called Glynnis who also did a round for the same newsagents. Any hope of winning her heart disintegrated the day I fell off the wretched bike in the snow right in front of her one January morning. It was a Sunday, the heaviest day when the papers were at their thickest, and as I set off the weight of the bag made me lose balance. There I was, lying in the road with the News of the World, The People, Observer and assorted Sunday Times supplements scattered in the snow. All she did was laugh.
I packed it in shortly after that. For all that effort I'd been getting a paltry 14 shillings (about 40 baht) a week.
A final thought. Thank goodness Thailand's roads don't get icy. Just imagine ...
Pleasure weather
The weather forecasts on British radio on occasion provide unintentional mirth when the announcers get a bit tongue-tied. BBC listeners were once treated to, "There is a trough of low pleasure over Europe", while another forecaster came up with, "Widespread fist and mog can be expected". In contrast to the "pleasure weather" the Guardian newspaper got into an appropriately sombre mood with, "Today's weather: A depression will mope across southern England".
- Contact PostScript via email at oldcrutch@hotmail.com
Prev
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
Next
