POSTSCRIPT
ROGER CRUTCHLEY
There has been some entertaining correspondence in the letters section of the Bangkok Post during the past week about a most unlikely topic - sunsets. What prompted the debate was a letter complaining about condos advertising watching sunsets over the sea in Cha-am, saying this was incorrect as the coastline at Cha-am faces East. A subsequent letter took issue with this, but as other correspondents have since pointed out, the key words in the original letter were "over the sea". I've been fortunate enough to witness several sunsets in Cha-am and the sun always disappears behind the mountains close to the border with Burma. Anyone who sees the sun sink over the sea in Ch-am must have consumed a few too many sundowners.
Of course if you are out on the ocean you can witness both sunset and sunrise over the sea. Nineteenth century poet Samuel Taylor Coleridge described this experience in The Rime of the Ancient Mariner and he didn't even have to worry about East or West:
The Sun came up upon the left,
Out of the sea came he!
And he shone bright, and on the right
Went down into the sea.
So forget about East and West, it's left and right.
Debate on where the sun comes up or goes down may seem trivial, but it makes a refreshing change from reading about protests, pontificating and political poppycock which we are mercilessly subjected to each day.
East is West
If you really want to see the sun set in the East then you have to buy a copy of the John Wayne movie The Green Berets. At the end of the film Wayne and Vietnamese girl are walking on the beach in Da Nang watching the sun set over the ocean, which happens to be in the East. Actually it's a pretty awful film and most people don't get to the end anyway and so miss this unique sunset.
Room with a view
The point of the original letter about Cha-am was not so much about where the sun sets as misleading advertising. It is not a new phenomenon. I remember back in the 1950s going on a family holiday in Bournemouth where we stayed at a guest house which advertised itself in promotional literature as "five minutes from the sea". This may have been true if you had a car, which we didn't, so along with all the other guests, we were faced with a half-hour trek every day just to get to the beach.
Admittedly sometimes false claims can be unintentional. Some years ago a Bangkok estate agent advertised an apartment with "2 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, 1 loving room" adding "we look forward to serving you as our pleasure". That sounded like fun.
Certainly when trying to induce people to take up accommodation, some offers often become more tempting than intended. Dalton's Weekly once carried an ad that read: "Almost new, sexi-detached houses." The Cumberland Herald also had an ad that could perhaps have been better expressed: "Small flatlet available, suitable for two business ladies, use of communal kitchen or two gentlemen."
Less inviting was this ad in the Coventry Evening Telegraph, which read: "To let, fully furnished flatlet, centrally heated, electricity, rats included." Then there was the ad in the Matlock Mercury: "Accommodation includes large bay window overlooking separate WC." And while on the theme of toilets the Worthing Herald must have had a problem finding buyers for: "Delightful country cottage, large lounge, toilet five miles."
The temperamental spider
The British are very strict about advertising rules, as The Sunday Times discovered some years ago. It was after it had used a tarantula spider called Terence in an advertisement. The International Broadcasting Association immediately wanted reassurances that Terence had not been maltreated. Apparently they were satisfied with the following explanation from the newspaper:
"After being woken at 8am, Terence was given his usual breakfast of two crickets and a cockroach and was driven to the studio in a Mercedes. On arrival, a private gymnasium was put at his disposal, converted from a sandwich box. Upset by a delay in filming, Terence was apologised to by all the production team.".
Bang-bang fever
Back to Cha-am again. It is now a peaceful seaside town and probably always has been, but 30 years ago it suffered a reputation for what our late columnist Ayumongol Sonakul used to call "bang-bang fever". I remember in the mid-1970s travelling on an inaugural tour bus from Bangkok to Phuket. As we passed through Cha-am the helpful lady guide got hold of the microphone to inform passengers that the town was famous for its ruthless hired gunmen. Not surprisingly, this little gem of local colour caused an element of consternation among the foreign tourists on the bus and you could see them peering out of the window as if expecting to witness a Gunfight at the Cha-am Corral.
It was hard to determine the reaction of the Thai passengers as they were all asleep, including the driver as it turned out, as shortly after Hua Hin we careened off the road almost ending up in the ditch. The dozing driver was hastily replaced and we eventually made it to Phuket in one piece after about 16 hours. That was the first and last inaugural bus journey I've been on in Thailand and also the last time I ever went to Phuket on a bus.
Contact PostScript by email at oldcrutch@hotmail.com.
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