'Khun Kriengsak, how do my 360-degree feedback results look?" Tavorn asks me.
I share with Tavorn his key strengths, based on interviews I did with the people who work with him, then move on to the areas for improvement.
"Khun Tavorn, all three of your direct reports want you to stop micromanaging them," I tell him.
"Coach, can you elaborate?"
"They said that when you delegate or assign work to them, you tell them the goal and every detail about how to do it. They want to have the freedom to choose how to do things."
"I see." He's quiet for a while.
"Khun Tavorn, why do you do that?"
"Coach, I don't trust them."
"What do you think about their skills and integrity?"
"Oh, they're all capable people with high integrity," he tells me.
"Then why don't you trust them?"
He pauses to think for few seconds, then offers a revealing explanation.
"It's my background. In my first job, I was a quality control engineer in a manufacturing company. My boss at the time told me, 'Trust the process, the system and the machines. Don't trust people, as most product quality problems are caused by human error.'
"It was imprinted in my subconscious that I cannot trust anyone. I have to double-check everything. And if people don't do something the way I think they should, I have to instruct them to do it exactly my way."
"Khun Tavorn, that belief helped you to succeed in the past. But what got you here won't get you to the next level. What do you think you should do?"
"I have to do macromanagement _ manage using a 'helicopter view', so to speak."
"What belief do you need to behave that way?"
"I have to trust my people, as they are senior executives who are capable and also have very high integrity."
"Do you think you can change?"
"I'm not sure."
"Why not?"
"Because it's become my autopilot. I'm in my comfort zone when I'm micromanaging others. This is not the first time I've faced this fact."
"How do you prevent yourself from going on autopilot?"
"I don't know. If I knew, I would've already changed."
"Khun Tavorn, have you experienced driving on a small road _ a really narrow one?"
"Sure, my wife's parents live on a very narrow soi in Chinatown."
"How do you drive on a narrow road?"
"I'm very careful and focused, devote full attention and concentration to my driving. I'm in a state of full self-awareness."
"How can you adapt this knowledge to micromanaging behaviour?"
"Oh, I need to have self-awareness whenever I assign and delegate the work to my team."
"That's good. What else do you need to do in order to be more conscious of this?"
"I don't know."
"Khun Tavorn, how many times do you think you've told yourself not to trust people?"
"I was imprinted with this idea not to trust people more than 15 years ago. It's been thousands of times, I suppose."
"So basically you're hardwired to this belief?"
"I guess."
"Hence, it's hard for you to unlearn it. Alternatively, you can learn a new belief to trust you team. But you need to tell yourself a lot in order to make it a new autopilot for you. How is that done?"
"I could do the same as I did with the old belief _ tell myself several thousand times. I think what I need is to do some self-talk every morning after my meditation."
"That's good. What else?""I think I will practise self-talk about this belief before I engage with my team. This will prepare me to be more conscious of the new belief."
"That's good. What else?"
"Coach, what about you reminding me every day? You could do it by a SMS or email."
"I could, but I won't."
"Why not?"
"Because the moment I start doing it, it becomes my accountability. I want you to own this accountability so the change is in your hands. If you think the idea of a daily follow-up is useful, you can do it by SMS or email to me every day for a month. Once it becomes a habit, you can stop the daily reminder."
"Okay, Coach."
"What else?"
"I think I'll set up an agreement with all my direct reports. Whenever they see I'm starting to micromanage them, they have to give me a signal. Then I'll stop myself and switch off the 'old autopilot'. It will also bring me to the conscious level, the awareness that I need to let go of the old way."
"What kind of signal?"
"I think I want them to say something memorable like: 'Please get back in the helicopter.' This sentence will be the trigger point for me. "
"That's good, Khun Tavorn. Let's try what we discussed for the next two weeks and see how it goes."
Kriengsak Niratpattanasai provides executive coaching in leadership and diversity management under TheCoach brand. He can be reached at coachkriengsak@yahoo.com. Daily inspirational quotations can be found on his Facebook fan page: https://www.facebook.com/TheCoachinth. Previous articles are archived at http://thecoach.in.th