Dear Ann Landers: This is in response to “California Heartbreak", who said his wife of 18 years left him for a man she met on the Internet. Sister, I can relate to that! My ex-husband did the same thing to me, literally—he left me for a man.|
We had a good, solid marriage, or so I thought—13 years and two great kids. When "Al" first bought his computer, he spent a lot of time with it. He wanted to check it out to see how it worked.
As time went by, he spent more and more time on the Internet, "downloading games and programs for the kids,” he said. I believed him. There was no reason not to.
When Al began to stay up to 3 and 4 a.m. on the Internet, I began to wonder what was going on, but I had no clue as to the seriousness of it. I came home from work one day, and Al was gone. There was a note on the table saying, "Have left to be with Larry, my on-line friend. I hope you will understand."
Dear W.C: I’m sorry about your sad experience, but perhaps you will feel better when I tell you what happened to a bride in Alexandria, Virginia.
Margaret Anne Hunter was married four months when she discovered the man she had married was a woman. She met Thorne Groves on-line in an Internet chat room and fell for him hook, line and sinker. Hunter is seeking an annulment and has filed a US$575,000 lawsuit against her husband for fraud and to recover the cost of the lavish wedding put on by her parents.
She said the reason they did not have sex was because he told her he had AIDS. They did some high-school-type necking, she said, and he fooled her by wearing a prosthetic penis.
Occasionally, people accuse me of making up letters. Who would make up anything to compare with what goes on in real life?
The next letter gives a bit of balance to the Internet scene:
Dear Ann: I agree that computer chat lines can be addictive. You wind up on-line for three hours instead of the 20 minutes you had planned. And, yes, they can be dangerous. If you agree to meet an on-line pal in person, bring at least two friends along and make sure the meeting is at a very public place.
Granted there are hazards, but the Internet can also bring love. My boyfriend and I met on a chat line four months ago. We sent e-mail several times a day and "chatted" whenever our schedules permitted.
After two weeks, we exchanged phone numbers and discovered we had a lot in common. We then decided to meet in person. I knew instantly that I had made the right choice. The chemistry was perfect. We’ve been dating ever since. I have met his parents, and he has met mine.
Our relationship is strong because it is based on mutual interests and long-term goals. Our personalities mesh, and we are wonderfully compatible.
So, please, Ann, stop bashing the Internet. It’s not for everyone, but for some of us, it can bring true love. It certainly did for me.
Totally Happy in New York
Dear Totally: It sounds beautiful. I wish you and your cyber-soulmate a lifetime of happiness.