Dear Ann Landers: I usually agree with your advice, but you were out to lunch with your response to "Preston", the brother-in-law who shot the family dog. Apparently, Preston’s young son tried to take a ball away from the cocker spaniel, and the dog nipped him."

The writer, a veterinarian, explained how good-natured cocker spaniels are and that the dog must have felt threatened by the child’s actions. Apparently this was not the only critical letter Ann received. In response she wrote: "Many readers agreed with you, and I’ve been catching unvarnished hell all week for my brainless response.

Dear Abby: We have lived in a small apartment complex for four years. The family next door have lived here a little longer. We get along well with our neighbours and respect each other’s boundaries.

However, I have a habit that I fear may be inappropriate, and I would like your opinion.

Our neighbours subscribe to the local newspaper, which is delivered very early every morning, long before they get up. I’m an early riser and I always hear it hit their front porch. As soon as it does, I reach over and "borrow" it.

I read only my family’s horoscopes, the comics and, of course, your column. I never keep any part of their paper, and I always fold it carefully and place it on their porch before they wake up.

Am I doing wrong by sneaking a peek from their daily newspaper? I hope to read your response in their paper.

• What do you think? Is this writer doing anything wrong? How would you answer?

Dear Ann Landers: My boyfriend and I have a wonderful relationship, except for one thing, I am ashamed of the way "Hank" speaks. He has almost stopped saying "ain’t", but he continues to say, "I done something" or "I don’t want no apples". If I correct him, he becomes angry.

Hank had to quit school after the eighth grade in order to support his widowed mother. He says that’s why his English is so poor. Ann, children in the third grade have better grammar skills than he does. Hank is anxious to marry me, but frankly, I’m concerned about what friends will think of him. Please give me some advice.

• Should "Perplexed in California" continue to correct her boyfriend? What would you tell her?

Dear Abby: I had few close friends in grade school, but I did have one close confidante, "Janie" — a girl in my class. In my sophomore year (year 2) we found a great group of friends, but Janie and I also continued our close relationship. I’m a junior (year 3) now, and a new girl I’ll call "Tammy" has joined our group. She too, had problems making friends when she was younger, but Janie accepts her. In fact, they share many common interests.

Tammy tells me everything the two of them do together, especially when I’m not there. I try not to let it bother me, but I must admit I’m hurt that my best friend spends so much time with Tammy instead of me.

I don’t want to be possessive and prevent Janie from forming new relationships, but neither do I want someone to come between my best friend and me.

• How would you answer "Feeling left out"?

Dear Ann Landers: My son and his ex-wife have been divorced for eight years. Their children, a boy, 12, and a girl, 10, live with their mother. My son has visitation privileges every other weekend. When I am at my son's place during weekend visitation, it makes me sad to hear him constantly belittling and criticising the children. He is like a drill sergeant, always barking orders. I grew up with very little self-esteem because nothing I did was ever good enough in my parents’ eyes. I know first-hand what constant criticism can do to children. Please, Ann, how can I suggest to my son that he balance his criticism with praise? I don’t want to alienate him and insult his parenting, but it breaks my heart to see my grandchildren’s faces. It’s as if they are asking, "Can’t I do ANYTHING right?"

• What would you tell this grandmother to do?

Dear Sneak-a-Peek: Yes, the paper belongs to your neighbours. Since they pay for the subscription, they have a right to receive it fresh off the press, not after it’s been rifled through by you. (Don’t assume they can’t tell.)

Ask if they mind you "borrowing" their newspaper and offer to split the cost of their subscription. It’s the honourable thing to do.

Dear California: Tell Hank his poor grammar will stand in the way of success in every aspect of his life, and that he can and SHOULD do something about it.

If he is willing, offer to pay a college student to tutor Hank on the basics, and rehearse with him daily. If you praise him on the slightest sign of improvement, you can win this one. Good luck.

Dear Feeling left out: It is not possible to "own" another person. You and Janie are growing up, and part of growing up is developing new interests and new relationships. Janie’ compatibility with Tammy should not make you feel insecure.

View this as an opportunity for you to branch out in new directions. In the long run it will only make you stronger and more popular.

Dear B.R.: Being too critical can be just as harmful to children as being too permissive. There must be a healthy balance. It is essential that you get this message across to your son. If you don’t feel comfortable talking to him directly, check out the available books on parenting at your local library or bookstore. Select the one you feel will be most effective, and give it to your son. Tell him, "Since you are a single parent, I thought this might come in handy." Meanwhile, an extra dollop of TLC from Grandma could make a world of difference.

Here is Ann Landers’ response to the Follow-up letter from a Texas person who received an request to help pay for a wedding:

Dear Texas: The request is totally inappropriate. Ignore it!