Home and away

Following on from last week’s feature on the introduction of the new Child Protection Act, we take a look at protection issues for expatriate children

Luxury and education, however, don’t really mean much if you’re being neglected or, worse, abused. But surely this kind of thing doesn’t go on in expat families, you might say. True, most expatriate parents are caring and well-meaning but a small minority don’t quite fit that description and the kids end up being the victims.

In fact, being an expatriate in a developing country can bring all sorts of problems that may eventually affect the child in one way or another. Marital and job-related stresses, for example, are exacerbated when families are far away from home. In the main, parents deal with this issue sensitively so that their offspring are affected as little as possible. However, if the problem becomes a major one, things can get really difficult. Should one parent becomes abusive or even violent, where do you turn?

Back home, there are usually plenty of agencies who can help and, of course, other relatives and close friends are near at hand. Here in Thailand, there are few such luxuries available to expats. Thankfully, however, there are people out there who can make a difference.

Rick Rozelle

Rick Rozelle is an American psychotherapist at Psychological Services International, a counseling group who offer services to the expatriate community in Bangkok. With over 8 years experience in Thailand, Rick has seen a lot of troubled cases ranging from marital problems to depression. He also works closely with international schools and helps families experiencing child-related difficulties.

“Abuse covers a lot of territory,” explains Rozelle. “When you talk about child abuse, there’s physical abuse, emotional abuse and sexual abuse. We first have to determine what type of abuse is going on before we decide on the kind of action to take. Emotional abuse is the most common and the most difficult to deal with because there is nothing tangible. It just becomes a question of who said what.”

Physical abuse issues, the second most common problem, are a little less complex since evidence is easier to come by. In these instances, counsellors and/or schools can bring in the family and hopefully come to an appropriate solution.

Mercifully, cases of sexual abuse are exceptional, although dealing with those can be painful experience for all involved, especially when there are few appropriate support networks for expatriates within the country.

A major worry for any family caught up in an abuse situation is one of confidentiality, according to Rozelle. “People here are much more concerned with confidentiality than they would be in America,” he says. “Many first-time callers want to talk extensively about what will happen with the information they are going to give, who that information will be given to or what the ramifications might be. I think this is because that they don’t know what’s going to happen.”

Indeed, the fear for many is that the consequences of admitting to and dealing with a serious problem could jeopardise the whole family in a more dramatic way than if they were on home soil. “I think people cover up things like abuse issues in Thailand more than they would do in America. Back home, an agency will come in and deal with the situation. In Thailand it’s possible that if something like this is happening, the family fear that they may have to leave the country. Everyone’s concerned about that.

“In many countries, nobody would be likely to lose their job quickly over something like this. The family might have to attend counselling and there’d be all sorts of safeguards to make sure that the child was safe. But in Thailand, there’s always the possibility that if they work for a muti-national company or an embassy, they may well be sent home because the fear is that there might not be sufficient services here to deal with the problem.”

The government and various child agencies are already keen to develop a system that will be of benefit to everybody, both Thais and expatriates. The new Child Protection Act, which took effect on March 30^th this year, is far reaching in terms of protecting and supporting children as well as their families. But this will probably take many years to implement effectively and support networks for expatriates could well be low down on the list of priorities.

Until such a time as an effective system is in place, the burden of child protection for expatriate families falls on their school. Many of the reputable international schools already have some kind of child protection policy in place and employ their own professional counsellors to deal with emotional issues from bullying to problems at home.

Barbara Wiemers

Barbara Wiemers, who is Assistant Principal for Student Welfare at Bangkok Patana School, believes that having a child protection policy is important. “One of our paramount concerns is the safety of the child and how we can support the child,” she says. “In many respects we are in loco parentis whilst the students are here. If they are being physically or psychologically abused, for many kids this is their safe haven.”

As far as protection is concerned, international schools are in a precarious position. The consequences of dealing with any kind of abuse or neglect are going to be much wider reaching than if conducted at home. “It’s not just about taking the children away and then you solve the problem, it’s about supporting those families. It doesn’t matter how bad the abuse is, a child who has the choice of living with another family or their own family will, the majority of the time, pick their own family.”

There are limits to what schools can do. If a case of child abuse becomes apparent, administrators can contact the family and discuss the problem with them. But in a majority of these instances, parents are in denial and moving forward can be difficult. Many of the options available tend to be counterproductive and can be one of the worst quandaries faced by teachers and administrators.

The main anxiety is that reporting abuse to the Thai authorities would end in embassies being contacted, resulting in the loss of visas and work permits. “We could be to blame for that,” says Wiemers, “and that’s a real concern because we don’t want to make a situation worse.

Cases of actual child abuse amongst expatriate families are few. Much more common, however, are cases of neglect. In particular, parents who travel extensively are more open to neglecting their children, simply because of the nature of their lifestyle. “If parents go away for a couple of weeks and leave their teenage child with a maid who doesn’t speak very much English, we could say that they’re being physically looked after but are they being psychologically supported?” asks Wiemers. “That’s a big issue on the international circuit. We believe, as a school, that students should not be left alone or without adequate supervision for long periods of time. We have had cases where we have followed that up with parents.”

Some would argue that personal arrangements made by the family are no business of the school. Wiemers disagrees. “My view is that if you choose to send your child to an international school, then you should follow the culture of that school. However, we still have to be very careful how we deal with each situation. We don’t want to close down those open doors. The only way we can avoid that is to support the situation, not always to give sanctions.”

Child protection for expats in Thailand would be virtually impossible without the help of trained professional counsellors. All good international schools, who take pastoral care seriously, employ at least one with some of the bigger schools employing more.

David Anderson

David Anderson works with a group of 8 other counsellors at the International School of Bangkok (ISB). “Every case is individual,” Anderson points out. “The information regarding children and their families, whether it’s an abusive situation, a divorce or death situation, any normal life problem, typically will come from the parents or teachers. If you’re talking about an emotional issue or a crisis situation with a child, I would just deal with the family in terms of meeting with them or trying to put together a plan to deal with a problem. We try and use what we have. I might see the child or the family myself. Certainly we’ll intervene. We’re not going to leave the child in any dangerous situation.”

In extreme cases, where children may have to be removed from the family home, the prospects are somewhat bleak. “It’s not appropriate for an international child to go to a temporary care facility, for example, in a Thai home,” notes Anderson. “International families have to work in parallel with the intent of the law. You have to work with what you’ve got – ambassadors, company officials, school officials – all with the intent of protecting children.”

The way an abuse case is handled invariably depends on the age of the child. Techniques such as ‘play therapy’ are used to tease out information from younger children whilst there is a greater trust of older children because they are more able to articulate a problem.

Sharon Jones

Sharon Jones is the Secondary School counsellor at Bangkok Patana School and specialises in adolescent issues. “Children find it extremely difficult to disclose being abused because they feel ashamed” she says. “They can also be reluctant to access counsellors because of the perceived stigma. The fact that they’ve actually knocked on your door and said that they’ve got a problem, pretty much means that they’ve got a problem. It’s not so much a question of trying to weed out whether they are telling the truth or not.

“Abuse tends to occur less when children hit adolescence. What I usually hear is abuse that’s happened in the past, so it’s often too late for me to intervene. My goal is to help victims emerge from their experiences of trauma to become healthy survivors.“

Other support services, such as the family therapy unit at Bumrungrad hospital, are invaluable to expatriate families brave enough to tackle their problems head-on. Of course, the circumstances would be better if Thai social services can achieve the full confidence of the expatriate community, though this will not be easy. The language barrier, for one thing, will always be a tricky obstacle for both sides to overcome.

But there are measures that can be taken in the short term. At the moment, few international schools have been given a copy of the Child Protection Act and are somewhat in the dark as to whether the law extends to international communities. The authorities need to be clear about how expatriates are affected by the law and also about the consequences of reporting and dealing with various cases.

In the end, so long as authorities observe the true spirit of the Child Protection Act, the system that follows should be strong enough to support every individual. No matter where they come from.