Fast LOVE
Speed-dating-a musical-chairs-style game that allows participants to meet and perhaps find love and romance-has finally arrived in Bangkok. |
Speed-dating — a musical-chairs-style game
that allows participants to meet
and perhaps find love and romance
— has finally arrived in Bangkok
Story by KRITTIYA WONGTAVAVIMARN
Photo by YINGYONG UN-ANONGRAK
It looked like a typical night at the Six Degrees bar on Convent Road, but Kate, 23, felt a bit nervous. A dim light shone from a solitary candle. The pretty, extrovert single had a sip of red wine, exchanged a shy smile with a good-looking, clean-shaven thirty-something guy sitting across from her. In the half-romantic, half-whimsical ambience, they started talking, laughing, and gesturing. In the flickering light, their brief conversation started to develop and a warm feeling began.
Suddenly, a bell rang.
The warmth was shattered. The couple split up. The man left Kate to move to another table to talk to another woman.
Kate looked down at the scorecard in her hand, gave him a “yes, contact again” checkmark. Then a Chinese-looking businessman moved in and sat down at her table.
Five minutes later, another ringing of the bell. Forty eligible bachelors got up, moved to a new seat and to someone who just might turn out to be the love of their life.
This candle-lit marathon of musical chairs and brief conversations is known as “speed dating” — so-called “round-robin” or “fast dating”, the latest thing in dating, which provides a way for singles to meet new people and form new friendships, relationships, and, perhaps find love too.
The activity is relatively new in this part of the world. For better or worse, dating has largely been boys asking girls out. To put yourself out there in a sort of market for dates is not the norm.
However, the speed-dating event recently staged by the Bangkok Network of Women (BNOW) and Soi Dog Rescue group to raise funds for tsunami victims attracted as many as 40 pairs of singles.
Does this show a new attitude toward relationships and how to establish them? Is it really practical and useful as a means to find love in a busy world? Or is this meet-and-greet game only for desperadoes?
Although the participants paid a fee of 500 baht to attend the dating activity, many said that they were not there to flirt, hunt for love or search for a soulmate. Rather, they viewed the activity as a quick and efficient ice-breaking, friendship-building exercise to expand social networks and form new relationships.
“It’s a good way to meet a new and large group of friends from different backgrounds over a short period of time. And it’s not all about finding the love of your life, but rather friendship — it boosts your self-confidence and social skills,” said Kate, a first-time speed dater who works in the media.
Other downtown singles — both Thais and expatriates — shared similar ideas about fast dating.
“I don’t expect to meet Mr Right, but perhaps some new, interesting friends who can be either men or women,” said Soontharee Chantanotoke, 29, a researcher at Head Hunter. It was the first time she had joined the event.
“Everyone wants to make friends and wants to have a chance to share feelings, and that can develop into something deeper,” said freelance artist Stephen, an expat in his 40s from California. “I hope to make some friends, connections, and perhaps meet some women with whom I can share my feelings, and also talk about culture, politics and art,” he said.
For some people, the activity provides opportunities.
“Mini-dating provides you with an opportunity to look at and find people that you are initially attracted to,” said Ashley Kennel, 35, a teacher at an international school. “Then you can meet them again and see if that attraction is relative to their personality too.”
Unlike chatting in an Internet cafe or flipping through newspapers and magazines for personal dating ads, mini-dating helps singles meet one-on-one, up close and in person, with several people who of the same marital status — available — who have a common bond: eager to meet others.
How does it work? Very much like musical chairs. The event is usually held as a party where singles from 20-60 years of age and from a broad spectrum of occupations mix and mingle. Guys are paired up with gals. Every five minutes, the male changes his seat and meets a new person. The business-like atmosphere makes speed-dating different from the typical smoky, noisy bar scene, or blind dates.
Participants are given a list of names that states everyone’s occupation and hobbies. This information can be an excellent icebreaker to start a conversation. After a chat, the participant marks their dating scorecard if they “click” or sense a “chemistry” with someone. The scorecard is handed in at the end of the night to the event organiser. Two days later, the participant receives an email informing them how many matches they made – one, two, three, or none – as well as their matches’ phone numbers and email addresses.
After the go-between process, it’s up to the couples to arrange a private meeting.
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solitary
single; alone
extrovert
lively and confident who enjoys being with other people
gesturing
making hand, head, face motions
shattered
broken in a sudden way
eligible bachelors
unmarried men who are free to marry
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desperadoes
people who enjoy danger or risk-taking
flirt
to be as if you are attracted to someone of the opposite sex
soul-mate
a person you have a special friendship with
ice-breaking
saying or doing things that make people feel relax, especially at the beginning of a meeting, party, etc.
freelance
earning money by selling your work or services to different organizations |
expat (from expatriate)
a person living outside their own country
marital status
the condition of being married or single
bond
special connection
click
to quickly become friends with
chemistry
the relationship between two people
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