Understanding the American ways

[Rad]

I am a Thai lady who left Bangkok at the age of 20, lived in Singapore for 11 years before residing now in the US for the past 4 years. I lived in California for the first year & a half and now I live in Boise, Idaho. Determine to upgrade myself educationally, I enrolled for classes at the local university majoring in Radiologic Science with an emphasis in Nuclear Medicine. I'm now doing my internship at a local hosptial. Although I feel confident and possess strong competency required in this field, I do not seem to be able to adjust to the working environment and the co-workers. After doing my internship for almost a year now I feel I don't quite understand the American way. I do understand the cultural differences between westerner and oriental on the general scale but when it comes to friendship and social interaction I feel it's really umbigous. I am on the quiet and reserve side but I have learned to open up and talked more. Like many Thais, I smile a lot and always willing to lend a helping hand. Influenced by the way I've been brought up, I always look at a person on a positive side and be polite & nice to everyone. Still I feel people don't feel comfortable talking to me and I'm not sure if it's because of my accent or it's because I'm a foreigner. I don't feel I can fit into the American society and now having a second thought if relocating to another country like Canada after my graduation may be the better idea. Lots of topic in this forum are always about the Thai ways, I wonder if anyone could me some advice on how to adjust to the American Ways.

[Rooster]

Why are you wanting to go to Canada? Are you not thinking about return to Thailand? If you want to live in North America, you might want to go back to California.

[Adam]

Rad, I am sorry you are having trouble. With out actualy speaking to you I can not comment about the accent. Most Americans feel no ill will to most immigrants. All our people came from them, even the Native Americans have only been here 10,000 years.
The people you hang out with have things they like to talk about. If you are interested in fitting in, try to learn what they like. Maybe favorite TV shows or such.
I do not think it would be better in Canada, maybe just a different part of the US. On the Florida Gulf coast around Pensacola and Fort Walton Beach there are many Thais and other Asians. I do not think I have ever heard of a problem. Except when the immigrants can not speak English, it gets very tiring trying to carry on a conversation. So if you speak fairly good English and try to assimilate in, you should get along.

[Jeff]

I have spent my whole life in America and some times wonder if even I can adjust to American culture. I think what you are feeling is a sense of isolation which is a normal reaction to American culture. I am in the process of doing the direct opposite of you. I am trying to become comfortable with Thai culture. I have been traveling to Thailand for the past year and have noticed a stark differances between the two cultures. I feel that I will have an easier time to adjust to Thai culture that a Thai can to American culture. When I come back to America from a visit to Thailand I am shocked at how us Americans live. Remember, you come from a counrty that has a rich history for thousands of years. Where 98% of the population are Buddhists. Where maintaining family ties is of upmost importance. Also, Thai's just seem to enjoy life a lot more than Americans do. In short, you have a strong connection to your mother country and its culture. America in contrast does not have the components that make Thailand what it is. We are all immigrants in America. We are made up of many religions and ethnic backgrounds. America is a country that is relative new in terms of world history. We in general, do not maintain the family ties like Thais do. And I think that we, in spite of all our wealth, are not all that happy. Maybe the so called protestant work ethic is the problem. I think we are continually re-defining our culture. What America does has to offer is the opportunity to economically better ones life. I think when it come do to it, it is a trade off. In the short term, I would try to connect with a group that is involved in something you are interested in. I am not sure what options you have where you live. Your idea to move to Canada could be a positive decision. I am in the Seattle area and travel to Vancouver BC from time to time and find to more cosmopolitan than Seattle. Good luck with your journey.

[Rad]

Adam, if you have ever been to Singapore you will know my accent. I went to school in Singapore and I have an accent just like a typical Singaporean except I don't use slang as what the locals do. I speak fluent English and have been an honor student in college. Jeff, I believe you are absolutely right that the cause of all these feelings I have may stem from the fact that I experience for the very first time a sense of isolation; the feeling of being different. Despite the positvie opinion, you and Adam response, do you feel or agree with me that most Americans shy away from talking to the foreiners because they don't like to be exposed to something they don't know about? Personally I feel like many other Thais do, we are always curious about other cultures and we do take the time to learn and understand the differences. I have only met one person who really shows interest in Thai culture and it is only because that person has a Thai sister-in-law. On one occasion, I met a person who thought that Thailand isTaiwan.

Thank you for all your inputs I am truly appreciated them.

[Adam]

When you find someone you wish to get to know, speak up, let them know that talking with you will not be a problem. I and my wife find plenty of people that are interested in other cultures. I find people in other countries can also act distant or uncaring, France comes to mind. On the Paris metro, just speak English if you want a dirty look.
Rad, it might be you not really wanting to communicate, not the people you meet. You say they do not care about your culture, do you try to participate in theirs? Remember, you came to their country, do not expect them to know or even want to learn about yours.
Ignorance about geography is world wide and has been discussed in this forum. I do not expect Thais to know the map of the US or North America. Why should you expect the average person to know the Asian map. If you want them to know, take the time to get to know them and then teach them. Do not be dissgusted because they live in their own world.

[Adam]

When you find someone you wish to get to know, speak up, let them know that talking with you will not be a problem. I and my wife find plenty of people that are interested in other cultures. I find people in other countries can also act distant or uncaring, France comes to mind. On the Paris metro, just speak English if you want a dirty look.
Rad, it might be you not really wanting to communicate, not the people you meet. You say they do not care about your culture, do you try to participate in theirs? Remember, you came to their country, do not expect them to know or even want to learn about yours.
Ignorance about geography is world wide and has been discussed in this forum. I do not expect Thais to know the map of the US or North America. Why should you expect the average person to know the Asian map. If you want them to know, take the time to get to know them and then teach them. Do not be dissgusted because they live in their own world.

[Jeff]

Rad, I think there is some validity to what you have noticed about certain Americans not being open to try to understanding people from differant cultures. I guess the real question you are asking is why. I do know people living in Boise are in general a fairly conserative group and that may have something to do with it. To some people any thing, person, or situation out of the ordiniary is scary. They do not know how to react to it. Also, I think the more conserative they are the more extreme their reaction can be. I would not judge all America by your experiences in Boise. You are much more well traveled than most Americans. You, I am guessing have a broader view of the world than a lot of people around you. When people react negativly to me I think it is out of fear on their part. I would finish up what you are doing in Boise and move on to an area that has a more diverse mix of cultures.

[Adam]

I guess I do not get it. If you are looking for people that care about your culture and want to talk about your culture, why didn't you just stay in your culture? When I go to Thailand, I am doing every thing I can to learn their culture, not give lessons on my culture. I f I were to move to Thailand and waned to speak English and talk about the US, I would go down where the tourist were, I would not get mad at the people Nomg Khai because they did not want to learn about Florida.

[Rooster]

Rad. Do you known that Canada has socialized healthcare system like in Thailand? If you are not comfortable in Thailand or in Idaho, Idaho is in the American heartland. These people do not give a nutcracker about foreigners. In their views, foreigners came to USA because Americans and America are better than their own homelands. Canada is more rural than USA unless you are living in the urban area, and Canada is many times colder than USA. It seemed like you are a urbanited person. You might considering finding American urban area with high population of Asians like Chineses and Vietnameses. San Francisco is an example beside New York, Houston, or Hawaii. US west coast cities will have the highest Chineses, Vietnameses, and Japaneses. Thais are mostly highest in LA, NY, and Florida.