How difference between Thai lady and Us lady

RE: Hard-working Thai women

Postby Aussie Dave on Mon Feb 28, 2005 4:33 pm

Ian Beale jan 2005............ Ian , i agree totally, it sems to me that the Thai women have all the responsibility and the men just dont care, i have met many young Thai women alone with children, their men have just gone and left them, and as you mention it seems that the bulk of street traders are women
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RE: RE: How difference between Thai lady and Us lady

Postby ananamous on Tue Aug 09, 2005 3:58 am

I do not beleive is as much as you proclaim as is,
they look for westerner or falang for a stable husband ; as in to support.
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RE: RE: How difference between Thai lady and Us lady

Postby drand10 on Mon Sep 18, 2006 2:22 am

I think thai women like farang..first because farang are often considered more loyal/trustworthy than thai men (I am not saying I agree..just what I hear). I'm sure western money helps etc...but i'm not so sure that it is the over riding issue. Reality is that just as in all cultures, there is an intrigue about a foreign person/culture that attacts farang to thais.

Thai women are NOT "Obedient" type. I would not ever suggest that you marry a thai women thinking that she will be subservient. I married a Burmese lady. She is here in the USA, and trust me..within 2 years of being in American, she is totally americanized!! I love her to death..but they do change.

You need to both mutually respect one another and recognize that the farang will change less than the Thai lady. If she lives in the USA, she will change so be ready and open to it. Change can be good....but can also destroy the relationship if you aren't open to it.
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worried about a friend

Postby kikibee on Mon Sep 18, 2006 3:50 pm

Date : Sep 10, 2006 01:47 AM
Author : kikibee
Subject : worried about a friend
i am writing from the uk. a friend of ours got married to a thai girl last year and she joined him in december and they now have a new born baby. me and my husband along with friends are very worried about him as she taunts him saying the baby isnt his ( which it obviously is due to dates and looks) she is constantly on at him to send money home when they are only just managing to survive even though he is up to his neck in credit card debts she does not appear to have much respect for him even though he does all he can works cooks helps with baby etc. she swears at him and sticks 2 fingers up at him and pinches him in front of others and now the most awful bit is that they are going to thailand in november and she has suggested to him that she stays there with the baby so she can look after her brother and dad. her aunty will look after baby. i am so cross and worried as i never expected this sort of behaviour from her. i honestly thought that once she settled they would be a doting couple and have respect for each other. i really dont want him to go as if this is her attitude he should keep the baby and just cut his losses woth her. but how can you tell a friend that. and why is she not putting her husband before her brother and dad. i can understand her respect for her dad but at the end of the day he is only 43 and her brother is fit enough to work. please could someone advise me as i am at a lost what to think. i have tried to search for his rights after marrying a thai but to no avail.
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RE: worried about a friend

Postby Mr. Farang on Fri Jan 19, 2007 11:50 pm

That is a really sad story. It sounds like she really doesnt care about him unfortunately and they need to look into parting ways. I am about to marry a thai woman myself and am trying to find out any information I can about what would happen in the event we needed to divorce, no luck yet though. Must be on this forum somewhere. I really hope your friend is alright though, that sound like a terrible situation especially with a child in the involved:(
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RE: RE: How difference between Thai lady and Us lady

Postby From Canada on Sat Feb 10, 2007 2:44 am

No difference, My wife is thai, she is the best, I am Canadian and she came to me, here in Canada. She paid her own way and she came here to meet me. She is not rich nor is her family but she is very special to me. I just want to say that thai ladies are not what you read on the internet, they are what WHITE WOMAN WANT TO BE>>>>
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RE: worried about a friend

Postby Matt on Thu Apr 19, 2007 6:30 am

I'm no expert, this is through love of cultures and personal observations.

I've been going to and from Thailand on a regular basis for business for 2 years now. I'm slowing learning the culture and even more slowly speaking the language. But many friends constantly tell me that family is the most important thing. Even after being married, original family is still as important or even more so. Also, most Thai's are extremely loyal to Thailand, and will want to visit so don't think if you marry, you can drag them away forever.

No matter what, general rule is, the amount of money you can provide directly represents your love in Thailand. Some of the younger women are starting to believe otherwise due to the larger influx of westernized movies though. Don't think they're taking you to the bank, most Thai girlfriends expect their Thai boyfriends to pay them weekly; as a decade ago, women weren't "supposed" to work.

I STRONGLY advise anyone marrying Thai to learn everything possible about their culture. Depending on the village your bride/spouse may be from and how devout she may be to their culture (most are) there may be things you might want to know about. I.E. - Up in the northern villages, if someone is deathly ill, or dies, the oldest woman in the family (your wife maybe) must shave all her hair (entire body)and offer fruit to the Buddha in the local temple while fasting all day and sitting only on her knees. Others involve sucking the insides of scarabs out of their body after tearing off their wings, etc. Normal place in some villages, so you may be eating this when you visit your new mom in law.

BTW - Most farang are considered bums if you don't, prior to getting married, pay a tribute to the mother. Roughly 2500 US dollars is the minimum expected of any foreigner.

Just things to be ready for. You need to be prepared to accept their culture as well, because most are strongly loyal to their way of life. You may think you're being taking advantage of, but thats how a majority of women in Thailand think. Its only recently women there are questioning that.

Abuse is never a good sign though. But I wouldn't think twice about "more money, more money, find a way to send more, think of your baby, bla bla". That seems to be what almost every woman I've talked to there would say. However I've noticed younger women obsessed with the western movie stereotype of love lately. So, in time, Thai shouldn't base their love on money.

Considering all else, while it is not "ok" for Thai men to run around on their woman. There's no law about it AND its not looked down upon at all save for traditionalist Thai's in villages. Very few in a city, albeit.
The result, is Thai women found out, that there are laws on Western men cheating on them and more on child support etc. Quite a few of them, especially ones working in bars, or tourist locales has grown up without a father, and had many failed relationships, and therefore do not trust men or simply don't expect them to be faithful. They tend to then, place all their love and importance on their child and family. Because although their family may be abusive (Thai families i've seen practice tough love, ie mother "you're stupid, prove you're smart to me") They do honestly believe their family is the one thing that will stay with them forever but you, their spouse, may not.

I'm not out to offend anyone, Honestly, I think Thailand is one of the most beautiful, and respectful countries in the world. If you're outside of Bangkok and Pattaya, Its the best. If you're there for sex, that's your thing. I don't blame those girls, they can sleep with two men a month, and make enough to live very well.

Anyone, feel free to email me, I really do love Thailand. Its a great place and the people, if you understand them and don't pass judgement, are THE most respectful people I've ever met. I'd love to talk about it, and/or attempt to answer any questions.
Im American BTW
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Matt
 

RE: RE: worried about a friend

Postby Robert on Thu Apr 19, 2007 6:42 pm

Matt
Very very good comments, particularly from one who has been in Thailand a relatively short time. I have first had hand experience with exactly the things you have mentioned. It was my feeling that I was 7th or 8th on her list, coming after her father, her mother, her brothers and sisters, her country, her religion and than me (maybe). I brought my wife to the US and provided the best life for her that I could, yet she still felt that Thailand was the land of milk and honey. I refused to pay Sin Sod as it was, to me, a perversion of traditional Thai culture. So perhaps I am a bum but rather be the bum than the fool. Fortunately I had a pre nup.
Unfortunately my hopes and reality were not in lockstep.
If the foreigners going into a marriage understand the culture that is of great help. But, even though I thought I understood the culture (as much as anyone can ever understand Thai culture) living with it is another story.
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Robert
 

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