Marring a Thia Woman in America - What's needed

[Ian]

Well said Sucha - Rooster's racism (eg, anti-Chinese), is only equalled by his sexism.
I'll say this though - only further economic development will bring lessening, eventually ending the bride-market. After all, pre-industrial Europe had many of the same things.
If nothing else certain, Thaksin will further massively develop Thailand.

[Rooster]

Sucha. Both of my wives were virgins. How do I know that they were without violating their virtues? Because elders in my family and my mother made sure that they were virgins, since their parents asked for certain amount of doweries. Yes, negotiations were done by all elders who were involved in the weddings. Although, my first wife's parents returned the dowery back to me. I gave it to my first wife in which she deposited into her saving account. As for my second wife, the dowery was divided by her parents. They gave her all of the gold jewelries for her heirloom from the dowery and from their own heirloom. They also kept some of the gold bars dowery to help pay for their other children's education and gave her 2 bars for her saving account. Oh, both of my wives do have degrees from universities. In both cases, all the doweries were well spent. I paid for all the receptions. The gifts from the guests help paid for lot of expenses. My opinions are that I would not marry them if they were not virgins and without high education, becasue I do have my standards. If they were not virgin, I and my family would not put down any dowery other than personal jewelries for the bride.

[Cozy66]

I just got married to my thai girlfriend of 2yrs last Oct. I paid her dowry of $44,00.00 US, 24 baht of gold and a diamond set for her wedding set. Total I spent about $60K usd. This is rather normal if your marrying a girl from a upper middle class to upper class family. The dowry shows your social statis and that you can afford to take care of her. If she married a Thai, he would have to pay the same and it is a lot more money when earned in thai baht. My suggestion to you is save your money and pay the dowry if you really love her. If you can't afford it, don't make yourself look cheap and of low social statis by trying to get out of paying the dowry. If you are from the West , they expect you to be rich enough to pay the dowry (which is shown to all family members during your wedding ceremony) . The family is suppose to use some of it for wedding expence, give your wife some cash (in case you leave her) so that she have some reserve money, and give some back to you. My wife got 10K, I got 10K, our wedding cost about 10K and they kept the rest (reimburtment for raising her and putting her through university)....
Now do you see why a dowery is paid? I wish you good luck with your marriage if you decide to go through with it.

[Cozy]

Unless you are Brad Pitt, chances are the thai girl thats from a poor family living up country is only marrying you for economic resomes. And her family feels the same way about you and will most likely milk you for all they can before you get tired of their daughter and leave her with nothing or maybe leave her as a single mother!!

[Cozy]

Your right she is not suppose to ask you at all. You should be having a dowry meeting for the elders in her family to dicuss this issure and you can bargain with them then. Once everyone agrees on dowry amount, which can be 20k baht to M2 baht. It can even be land for the family or a new tractor for their farm. All you to your negotiating skills...

[Cozy]

I think that the word "Farang" should always be followed with the symble $$$...lol Since that's how many Thais see us as anyways!

[Rooster]

Hi, Cozy66. It sounded like you spended your money well. My first wife reinvested the money that I gave her and from the wedding gifts from guests to our daughter's Thai mutual fund. We hope that it would accumulate enough to pay for her high education. As for the gold heirlooms, they will give them to our daughter or as dowry for our sons' future wives. All the money did go anywhere or wasted, it is still in the families in some forms or another. I wish that everyone would understand the meaning and purposes of culture and the purpose of dowry.

[Ian]

Yes - this is the way it is supposed to work.
Unfortunately it's often simply a scam to entrap and fleece the farang.
Rooster - I respect you for showing us the correct way.

[rjr]

Hey Kid,I've been marrie 2 a to thia.4 30 yrs,my beat advise2 tou,is keep your nickle's in your pocket,4 the time being,if she love's u,will know,after a piece of time,then use your own judgement, over the year's,Iv'e seen a lot of Money Bagger's,Beware!!,Best luck 2 u

[rjr]

Thia women are the same as any other's,from around the 4 corner's of this world,Treat another person right& hope&Pray she will do likewise. The cusine [food] is not what 1 get's in a thia resturant, i've been married 2 a thia women 4 30 year's now,& still there are thing's,4 lack of a better word,that owe Dog& I put our nose's up 2,that she cook's,Dude they have a differnt outlook as to what is paliatable,Good luck,Junior