Silaworld wrote:charliechang33 wrote:There are a lot of saying about Thai women marrying farangs then \\ //// up their money dry then run away.
This is not isolated incidence only happened in Thailand, it happens in every country where men or women
marry for the sake of money or opportunities. So single out Thai women is not fair judgment.
However, there are a common traits of this kind of happening in Thailand.
which are best described by my wife (Thai) in one of my German business friends' house warming party.
My wife being a VP of foreign bank and a graduate from England has always be very outspoken against farangs
who have racial prejudice remarks against Thai and particularly Thai women.
In this party, the German owner were partially drunk, he openly criticized Thai wives for their money sucking greed
even all the farangs guests there were presence with their Thai wives.
My wife made a strong comment direct at this drunken German, she looks around and said.
"Look at you guys, 60 years old men married 20's something Thai girls, you were lucky that anyone would like to marry
you. and if the money is her objective, so what ! how could you get a young girl in her prime to marry U back in Germany,
Furthermore, you are not rich as rich, you're just an average Joe back in your own country, although in Thailand,
you might be considered as "wealthy" from rural standard of poor Thai peasants. But you are definitely not rich inside Bangkok. And of course, where did you meet your wife? in what circumstance? If an \\\ ///// climb into a lion cage in the zoo, whose fault was it? the lion of the \\\ /////?"
Well Done! Dear..................the old German left speechless,
and of course, I stopped giving business to him.......
Of course, being drunk is no excuse for making \\\ ///// remarks...but...if your wife is so well-educated as you seem to suggest, why then, didn't she ask the drunkard to have enough cups of coffee to come to his senses?
She preferred to insult all the others, probably without even knowing them quite well. I suppose all the others present do not want to see your wife anymore.
Staying "cool" under all circumstances is proclaimed to be one of the high standard qualities of Thai upper-class and high middle-class. Your wife obviously didn't meet that highly-praised quality.
One more thing; if I would have been amongst these party-guests, for sure I would have felt personally attacked, though I am not an average Joe back in my country and though my Thai wife (who is at least as educated "what's in a word? as yours" is not a twenty something Thai girl. I am also sure my wife wouln't have waited for me to leave, but would herself have insisted to go away, being herself ashamed of the behaviour of her Thai countrywoman.
When people are "partially drunk," their inhibitions usually go away and they tend to tell exactly what's in their minds. The fact that the German guy left speechless later on meant that he had enough sense in him to know that what he just did was wrong.
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I have lived in Thailand for only a couple of onths with my lady and am not living in one of the EXPAT area I am living in pathum Thani and ihave seenonly one fiar skinnned person adn she teaches at the college.
I have been told that the main reason that the ladies do notlike the men is that they are not mature. I find watching that most of us are looking for women a few years 10-20 younger than us andtherefore we are more stable and have jobs or businesses that make us our money.
Am i paying to support her and her family; yes but to be honest if I was back in N.A. i would be doing the exact thing and would have more demands on me to be like the joneses not just frommy wife but from society.
I like the lifestyle here and love the lady that loves me for the few extra dollars that it costs to support her family i am willing to do so with no reservation. When we spoke of marriage a dowry number was mentioned and I immediately turned it down and explaiend that it would not be in her families best interest. Dowry or my support she would get more money out of my support.
They are now looking at that and I think it was an outside friend that suggeted the number.
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charliechang33 wrote:Remember the Ana Nicol Smith married the eighty years old Billionaire
Is she any better than any Thai young women inspired for better lives and marry an old Farang?
But peoples tend to make biased judgment based on race and skin color.
Yep... I couldn't agree more. This sort of thing happens all over the world and it product of the self-interested, ill-intentioned minded. Have a look at China.... it's pretty common. In Macau.... haha.... it's accepted! Money walks, money walks.
No way to have a life.
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Me, too. I'm the daughter of a Thai woman who got married to a farang in the early 1980's. This was long before the internet. They corresponded by writing letters and talking on the phone. My stepdad was a very well educated American; my mother had only a two-year associate's degree in education and a teacher's teaching certificate before she came to the U.S. Unfortunately, after ten years of marriage he and my mother got divorced. He soon married a very young woman from a former Soviet Republic; she was half his age of 60. He was a good father figure to me nonetheless. (My own Thai father was busy womanizing, drinking and smoking.) We all are complex, aren't we?
To echo Khun Ladywhite and Khun Lisa, I also write to express my heartfelt thanks to the United States and her people. My stepfather who had a Ph.D. inspired me to get a master's degree. I later joined the U.S. civil service out of personal obligation and patriotism. My work eventually took me to a war zone after having represented my beloved, adopted country in a different professional capacity. Can you imagine a petite, middle-age Thai-looking woman among big and tall, younger American soldiers in the battlefield? Despite having survived countless enemy fires, I ended up with the post traumatic stress disorder. I'm now retired.
After her own divorce and raising me on small salaries from two jobs, my mother went back to school and finally earned a bachelor's degree at the age of 50.
You never know how your marriage to a Thai girlfriend will influence any of your stepchildren in the future, or will change their lives. Tremendously. Or how they will love your country, too. Or how they will even sacrifice their lives for your home land.
The least I could do.
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It seems many Western men go to Thailand looking for the ideal wife they cannot find back home. Most often than not these men cannot find wives at home because they dont have much to offer. Many are old, fat,ugly rude and crude and low class. They expect to find a young willing lovely Thai woman to desire them? How is this possible?
Many Thai woman come from poverty stricken areas as do Thai men and will do anything to secure the safety of their families ie brothers, sisters, fathers, mothers and even children back home, including marriage and being BF to expat men.
These expat men in turn expect to be able to "buy" such a woman with their foreign currency.
So of course when the goods dry up and there was no real love underpinning the basis of their marriage things go wrong.
Blame poverty if you like and find some way to ending it would be a good idea.
This is a generalisation and Im sure there are a few cases of true love between equals but for the rest......
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Now, considering this, it should be clear that finding a loving, reliable, (soul)partner in a foreign country can't be easy. Still more so in smiley Thailand. A smile may as well be sheer politeness, accompanying one of the business transactions in Patpong or Sukhumvit Rd. No overweight ol' codger would believe a stranger's "I love you" back home. Why should he believe it in Bangkok? Of course some bar girls invent costly catastrophes in their families - it helps them to keep their self esteem: "I only go with farang because our water buffalo died and we need a new one". It's a polite lie like the "ฉันรักเธอ" you so often hear in the entertainment industry. It does not mean a thing, except "I'll cost you..."
Farangs are a shock to most Thai women. So many of them drink alcohol, smoke, and run around pant-less in their condo. Plus the strange habit of kissing or, worse, french kissing, their refusal to learn more than the most elementary lingo, and nil of the country's culture, not to speak of the statistical clustering of obesity and premature senility... In any society this group would be a professional matchmaker's nightmare.
Strange enough there are quite a few balanced relationships - "You care for me, I care for you". They will work as long as both parties regard what they get and what they give as equal. If there is only money coming from one side, the receiving side (most often the Thai Lady) will feel un-accepted - as everybody would. You can't buy love, can you.
So many people (again, world-wide) think that paying the rent gives them a right to get emotion. But emotion is something no one can buy anywhere...
Now, what complicates all is that, in the eyes of the typical farang, mostThai women with their flashing smiles are incredible attractive, regardless of age, background, societal standing. It's somewhat unfair to the women of the rest of the world...
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When reading the posts here the only thing one could say, is that all posts represent the tourist areas of Thailand and almost each day, examples of such experiences can be viewed while they are actually occurring. The first few times I visited Thailand, I stayed in the tourist areas and they were fun...for a while. 5 years on and they become the only place you dont want to visit. As a farang, of course you get taken advantage of. So what, does it really matter. Until you are able to understand or see just how poor the majority of Thai rural families, you cannot appreciate the lives we live back home and just how lucky we are. I met my wife who then worked in the hotel I was staying in. I had a rude awakening a few days after the first dinner we had with a few of her friends when I realised I had spent the equal of 1 and 1/2 of her months salary in about 2 hours. Talk about feeling like a real goose. Just imagine the situation where you would have to work for 6 weeks to pay for the single dinner you have just eaten.Anyway, I returned home after about 10 days, got off the plane and on the way home in the Taxi, stuck in peak hour traffic booked a flight back in 5 days time and stayed for another 3 weeks. I was invited to visit her family's home in a rural village in the SE and this was the first time I realised that all people in the world did not live in 2 storey houses and have 3 cars.I appreciated the life I had back home and at the same time realised that we complicate our lives by the desire to have everything and the latest technology. We dont have a life, we work for our own greed and to provide an environment where being surrounded by luxuries makes us happy. The cost of the average 2 week trip to Thailand would feed a Thai family for 2 years. I accept that I will be overcharged, ripped off and scammed but the same things happen back home, just on a larger scale, by banks and corporations.I am happy to contribute to my wifes family where possible. After all they are the reason I have a lovely family today and a wife with some traditional values.
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