I recently was in thailand and met a beautiful women, as most men do when they visit thailand. As a married man i went over the limits and spent a great week with this women and have kept in touch with her. Recently she has told me that she is pregnant and that i am the father of this child. I have been caught off guard by this and it posses a big problem as i have a family with me now and i do not want to upset my family now.
I have not been asked to do anything from the thai friend and she actually has been great so far about everything, I intially wished she would have an abortion and the problem is over, as she as well know all about my situation, that said she would not go through with it, from the start she will only say that she will keep the baby and raise the baby on her own. Now i know a lot of people will tell me to live up to my resposibility, but at the same time I do not know if this baby is actually mine, and can only take her word for it.
Just the other day she mentioned to me that the baby would need a fathers name on the birth certificate, and that if he/she doesnt then the baby would have a very hard time to work when he/she is older in thailand, again not sure why but that is what i am being told. She also has told me that if i do not want anything to do with this that she will not be able to let me see the baby, but if i do she will, again i am pretty confused and since i have been to thailand many times and heard the stories and read some of the stories i am very skeptical about it, any help on what i should do, would greatly appreciate your comments, and would greatly apprecaite if anyone has had a similar experience to share with me on what happened to them.
thanks in advance
unsure what to do
If your were one of her johns, you don't need to take responsibity in case she did really pragnant.
May be it is one of her ploy to extort to have a nice income to support her life styles.
If I were you, I would do nothing until you get a DNA checked, then take it from there.
It's up to you!
Its obvious that you are very worried and concerned about the situation. Yes its a well known scam to tell an unsuspecting and naive man that he is the father.
If she really is as reasonable as you tell us, then surely she can accept that you will help on the condition that there is a DNA test to put your mind at rest.
Good luck, and do look after the kid if its yours.
Hate to be blunt and you probaby don't want to be hearing this, but you sure screwed up... can't believe that you didn't wear protection.... especially if you're married and have kids!!!
I can only guess the dilema going through your head (on your shouders) now of the trouble your other head got you into.
A. Whether or NOT was this a trap from the beginning of her letting you get her pregnant?
B. Was she messing around before/after and got pregnant and see you as a way to support her & her kid?
C. Regardless of trap or not, that could be my kid. If I turn by back, I'm abandonning my child.
I can only give you an idea of what "I" woud do.
I, personally, don't believe in abortion (unless it's a case of rape or some other foul situation) so I'd have to be as tactful as possible (just in case it is my kid) and go along for the time being until I could definitely get medical evidence that it is my kid.
If it isn't then...
If it is, then there would be no choice (in my own mind based on my own principas) for me but to support the kid.
Call me a coward, but I would not admit this to my family and put them through the trauma that it would definitely bring.
Some folks here might give you advice that it sounds fishy; sounds like a scam and to walk away. For me.... If I walked away without knowing for sure, I would have nightmares to my last days contemplating: "do I have a child out there who I've abandoned"; What became of him/her as a result?
Again, sorry to be frank but next time... don't be sooo... stpd and prevent vs. fix.
Also Again, I stress that the above is not any suggestion to you. It is only a comment of what I woud do in your position.
rgds / sardines
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