is this a scam?

[chh1979]

Can someone help me with this please? My father is an American who went overseas to work. He is making pretty good money. He has been there for about 4 years and has traveled to other countries when on his r&r. Thailand has become his favorite vacation spot. He is 52 years old and divorced his American wife of 18 years 4 months ago. He has 3 American children. I just found out that he has married a Thai lady. I don't even know if his divorce was final in the states before he married her. She is 28 years old, the same age as me. He has decided not to come home. He bought some land there and has made plans to build a house in the Meing province. I have done some research and have been told a few times that it is possible he is being scammed. I thought I would get an opinion from someone who is more familiar with the Thai culture and way of life. Any response would be appreciated. Thank you.

[colin howard]

hi chh , your fathers tale is oh so common , as to whether he is being scammed or not i would not jump to conclusion , there are thousands of farangs married to thai ladys young enough to be there daughter who are blissfully happy , on the other side of the coin there are many who get burned , this is solely down to the content of the mans character nothing more nothing less , each case has its own merits and should be viewed as such , but to throw a blanket over all thai farang marriages and say that all are the same is laughable at best and stupid at its worst , also if you are concerned about your fathers future and welfare , put your mind at rest and go see for yourself , and to be candid i think this is far better than asking others in this forum a question that it is impossible to truthfully answer , regards , best of luck , colin .

[AD]

CHII...... Like Colin says , go see for yourself. there are many thousands of older falang very happily married to much younger Thai ladies, and who have got sons like yourself. You should be happy to know that your dad could well be one of these men, Colin is in fact one of them, with a really good wife, i am sure that he is not being 'scammed' and that they are very happy indeed as is Colin's grown up son who gets on well with his dad's younger wife.
So please Chii, don't listen to idle ill -informed gossip and advice, do go and make your own mind up and good luck .

[robin]

chh1979,
And if he were being scammed what would you do, how could you present your feelings without losing your father?
Then look back on yourself and ask why you are worried where your father is not, what is your motivation?
Finally, Colin offers solid advise, get up and go see for yourself, if you are truly concerned that should not be even a bump in your road, not to mention Thailand this time of year is a great place to be.

[Ian]

Colin is quite correct.
But you should be aware of two ultra-important facts :
1) foreigners are forbidden by law from owning land in Thailand.
So your father has NOT bought land there - he has GIVEN land to his young wife : this is the way Thais look at this issue.
I.e. she can expel your father from HER land whenever she likes.
2) foreigners are allowed to own a house built on Thai land - but the catch is :
the Thai owning that land can order the foreigner to remove that farang house off that Thai land.
Buyer beware !!!

[colin howard]

hi ian , your views are well known about the inequality's of land ownership here in thailand , of course they align perfectly with thousands of others including myself , i think there are many farangs who hand over wads of cash thinking that they can own land without first making 100% sure what there money is buying , and that of course is exactly nothing , even now i speak to newcomer farangs who inform me they are buying land to make a house and agriculture usage , regards , colin .

[AD]

Yes, Ian is correct about farang not allowed to own land, surely this is the first thing that one learns. As far as i am concerned its a very unfair law, and extremely discriminatory after all we cannot just pack it up and leave the country with it can we. In fact it's also a very stupid law as much more money would come into the Kingdom without it, creating more jobs etc,. STUPID! STUPID ! STUPID!

[Rich]

I dont think he's being scammed. Why is everyone so negative. I've got a nice building plot in a village near Chaing Rai. Its lined up for building a nice house as soon as I finish up working here in multi-national Britain. Even the neighbours there look after the plot and take the weeds off and water the plants. They cant wait for the falang to move in. Ok, its in her name but you have to take risks in all walks of life (ask anyone with shares in Northern Rock).

[Ian]

Eventually your father's situation is going to have one of two possible outcomes.
First outcome is that he gets taken for a ride and screwed blindly - in every sense :
i.e. he'll be cleaned out of as much money as his Thai "wife" can get hold of.
Then she'll move onto her next victim.
That's the way of the most cynical bar-girls - probably the majority.
Second outcome is that he'll develop a good relationship his Thai wife.
BUT - there are many types of "wife" in Thailand. The Thai language has severeal different words for "wife", according to what kind of wife.
You have to remember that traditional Thai society was polygamous.
The bottom line is :
her family is number one.
If you look after your wife's family, she'll probably be happy .
But drawing the line between keeping her family happy, and not getting cleaned out yourself, is often hard-bargaining.

[Ian]

Well said Rich !
But don't put everything you've got in Northern Rock !