Need farangs' suggestion.

[tfeot]

Dear All Farang,

I have been catching up with all the posts here. Most of the topics here are about Thai wifes/thai girlfriends/bargirls/divorced/money, these are all related issues. Some wondered why Thai wifes or thai gfs keep asking for money and endless supports for the parents, relatives or their friends. Many farangs who have stuck with that situation questioned why.. and seeking the way out of it.

I, as what is generally called thai woman in this forum, would like to have some of your suggestions on the differences between marrying or dating thai woman and marrying or dating woman from your won country. What are the pros and cons? This question is raised up as I have read all the cons posted by some of you here, so I think there should be pros also otherwise you guys won't get married with them.

Seriously want to know.

Thanks

Tfeot

[chawchaw]

I just to feel you need to know that thai ladies are not different from each other , prostitut or high educated , they have the same goal but just using different ways. but some ladies who wants to show that they are more educated and have some principles accuse farangs that they chose prostitut as wives or girlfriends . sadly I am telling you that prostituts are playing an open games at least .
I hope you understood my meaning . who wants to live in hell , he just need to take a thai lady , what ever is her position or social class.

[saipanusa]

my first suggestion is not to think too much about it....in america yes girls are different...or at least the ones that grow up in the cities and have gone to school ...many would present a significant challenge to a man who would try to marry them or be a boyfriend. That means because of their education and or family there would be many strings attached to the relationship.....the farang who goes to thailand and finds a bargirl finds instant love without strings...until of course the family comes into the picture....but for many farang the trade off of having someone love you so easily instead of having to work at it in america is worth the hassle of 'helping' the family in thailand...added most farang have a sense that maybe they are doing a good deed when helping as many see the thai culture and lifestyle of the bargirl as a poor one...they will never see that in their american girlfriend....they will most often see a strong and independent smart young woman who won't take any crap from a husband who is mean....it all very tricky indeed but in the end...one really has to know the kind of person they are attracted to from the inside....and for thai bargirls...or poor village girls...they can't be blamed for acting the way they do...many are taught the behavior from older sisters and friends who have gone through the profession and recieved many gifts etc....the girls don't go home to the village and speak of the heartache...or the beating or yelling by their farang boyfriends...so the saga continues....she who speaks from the heart will always meet her match....even a bargirl.....lies will always leave you with sorrow..

[stilljustbrowsing]

If you are looking for inspiration and the meaning of "true love", may I suggest you watch "Forrest Gump". He loved the lady from child-hood and never once critticeised what she did. He loved her from the start and accepted her for all her faults. Even when she told him he "did not know" what love is! I know it's only a movie, but there are a lot of lessons to be learnt if one only see's it!

[DocN]

The traditions in Thailand are much stronger than they are in my country (Germany). And to me, some of them seem so "wrong"!
My girlfriend is 25, from Isaan and was married before (arranged marriage, the guy eff'ed around while she was in hospital, giving birth to their son) and we are together for one year.
Now her mom is forbidding her to see me and took away her ATM-card, ID and money- because we are together one near and not yet married!
Oh...and she wants 500.000 Baht if I marry her daughter!

1) where I come from, arranged marriages are not even allowed!
2) If you are a 25 year old mother in Germany you are an adult and considered to be able to live your own life, make your own decissions. You may be given advise, but nobody can possible tell you who to be with.
3) Where I come from, the behavior of her mother is called "THEFT" and "KIDNAPPING" and is a crime!
4) In Germany, you can be together for 100 years and never get married...no one cares!
5) In Germany you don't pay anything for marrieing, at least not like that!
6) In Germany elders are respected and loved, but the young ones also can ask for respect and for acceptance of their way of life!

Now...I am not saying (except for the stupidity and the criminal acts) that one or the other way is better.
But I always thought, that if you a inter-cultural relationship, both sides should move towards ecah other!
I guess, I was wrong!

Oh...by the way: for this past year, I have treated my girlfriend and her son as if we were married.
I paid their hospital bills, holiday, gave money for clothes, food, the moved in my apartment and I did not get drunk, beat her up or had other women. Just like a GOOD husband would do...in either country!

[sulasno]

for every sad story there is a happy ending
blame it on luck or destiny

[DocN]

...blame it on 18th century traditions, maybe??!!

[so-cal]

Dear All Farang,

I have been catching up with all the posts here. Most of the topics here are about Thai wifes/thai girlfriends/bargirls/divorced/money, these are all related issues. Some wondered why Thai wifes or thai gfs keep asking for money and endless supports for the parents, relatives or their friends. Many farangs who have stuck with that situation questioned why.. and seeking the way out of it.

I, as what is generally called thai woman in this forum, would like to have some of your suggestions on the differences between marrying or dating thai woman and marrying or dating woman from your won country. What are the pros and cons? This question is raised up as I have read all the cons posted by some of you here, so I think there should be pros also otherwise you guys won't get married with them.

Seriously want to know.

Thanks

Tfeot

I just joined this forum and I am enjoying the dialogue, that is why I have so many posts.

Anyway I will answer your question.

I am a 25 year old guy from Canada, what I can tell you is that western society is phony. Many men grow up in suburban communities. In these suburbs, if yo are not in the right place at the right time with the right friends in the right group then your chances of meeting a girl are very slim. In the suburbs the young popular people hang around in groups. If you are not in a popular group within your suburb then you will find it hard to meet any girls. Regardless of your looks. Status is a different thing, if you are rich or (you can borrow the money)and drive around town with a 60,000 USD (1800000 BHT) sports car then you will meet girls.

Now the scary part is that if you find a girl then the inclination is that you don't want to lose the girl because they are so hard to find.(especially if the girl has good looks) Many men get married to the girl they are with because they have no choice. These men know that as they get older the chances of them meeting a new girl are so slim that they better just marry the one they are with. In the west the girls have all the leverage. In the west girls grow up without a doubt that they will meet a wealthy man that will take care of them for ever.

Just imagine how different the rural poor Thai girls would be if they knew without a doubt that when they turned 18 years old that there would be an endless supply of men that could take care of them for ever and ever. That is why western girls are hard to live with. They know that there will always be another man down the road that could take care of them for ever. Western men are disposable to western women.

In Thailand the tables are turned. When a man arrives in Thailand he quickly realizes that there is an endless supply of rural poor Thai women with good intentions that treat men well. These women treat usually treat them better and are more inclusive then any women ever has(even if its a lie), this is why many men fall in love so fast in Thailand. Many western men are make stupid mistakes in Thailand. Instead of taking a girl close to their age they find one that is half their age. That is the downfall of most Thai/farang relationships.