Farang cannot know Thai-ness

[oilyrag]

All farang have a simple choice, if you don't like Thai culture get a plane back home or somewhere you will be happier. For me I love the place and the people, I will be staying!!

[traveller]

Great writing from everyone.

It would seem the only way to understand "Thai-ness" is to relax and live Thai style. We will NEVER be able to change the things we don't like. I would guess that some of the things we complain about are also some of the same things that have drawn us all to Thailand. Our cultural differences can be extreme at times, which is why I love Thailand so much. Sure, there's ridiculous occurrences almost daily, driving, family, government, superstitions, etc., acceptance of these things for what they are leads to a better understanding of "Thai-ness". I can't change who I am, nor can Thai people. If we were able to "enlighten" the Thai people, why would I want to stay here when I could just stay in my home country?

[stratman]

Thainess? Hmmm! Is that akin to Englishness, or Indianness? Perhaps Mexicanness? Of course a Farang cannot understand the true nature of being Thai. The full understanding of any country or culture comes from being born, bred, educated, and living your life in that place called home (wherever it may be) and is not something that can be fully appreciated by a visitor, no mattter how long you stay.
I am from the UK and remember growing up in a place where people from the south of England did not understand people from the north, and Scotland was definitely a strange foreign place.
I have lived and worked in various countries over the years and currently work in the middle east with it’s Arabic people and culture. I have a Thai wife, family, home, and small business on the outskirts of Bangkok and am very happy with the way life is. But will I ever fully understand everything around me? I expect not but I have to accept that and work with what I DO understand. Heck! I don’t even understand what happens in my own country these days, as it is a far cry from the place I grew up in.
The only wisdom (for me at least) I can really bring to this forum is what I am sure many already know. If you accept the things and people around you as they are, they in turn will accept you. Don’t try to change their world. It is the one you have chosen to be in. Try to smile and be accepting , not always easy I know, and possibly you will find that it opens doors faster that a 100baht bribe.
And for anyone who finds Thailand culture and lifestyle a problem, then please, don’t even think about trying the middle east ( I’m not talking the “Westernised” parts such as Dubai). You will bang your head on the wall far more than here in the land of smiles for the simple reason that they have the ultimate get-out clause. Inshallah.

[jeetu65]

Farangs are ruining thai culture , soceity itself ....so..... thai people should know FARANGNESS first

[fluke]

Culture is more often a source of conflict than of synergy. Cultural differences are a nuisance at best and often a disaster." Prof. Geert Hofstede, Emeritus Professor, Maastricht University.

For those who work in international business, it is sometimes amazing how different people in other cultures behave. We tend to have a human instinct that 'deep inside' all people are the same - but they are not. Therefore, if we go into another country and make decisions based on how we operate in our own home country - the chances are we'll make some very bad decisions

One example of cultural differences in business is between the Middle Eastern countries and the Western countries, especially the United States.

When negotiating in Western countries, the objective is to work toward a target of mutual understanding and agreement and 'shake-hands' when that agreement is reached - a cultural signal of the end of negotiations and the start of 'working together'.

In Middle Eastern countries much negotiation takes place leading into the 'agreement', signified by shaking hands. However, the deal is not complete in the Middle Eastern culture. In fact, it is a cultural sign that 'serious' negotiations are just beginning.

Imagine the problems this creates when each party in a negotiation is operating under diametrically opposed 'rules and conventions.'

This is just one example why it is critical to understand other cultures you may be doing business with - whether on a vacation in a foreign country, or negotiating a multi-million dollar deal for your company.

[rasputin]

I am convinced that we farangs can understand Thai-ness. The vast body of knowledge contained in this discussion thread, presumably generated mainly by farangs, clearly proves that it is possible.

A comment to thinkabaht's post on Sep 15: I agree that it is very sad indeed if disillusioned farang men need to resort to the bars of Pattaya and Phuket. I'd prefer the bars of Bangkok instead. Hong Kong is superb, too.

[cmangrid]

I agree too an extent with the last post.There is a strange mixture of defensive superioty amonst middle and upper class Thais.
But the reality is that this quasi feudal state has huge vested interests in maintaining the status quo from the power brokers both from Bangkok and the Provinces who run the country.
The xenofobia is a" keep off the grass mechanism" in stopping foreigners with fairer and more efficient social systems influencing change which may upset this status quo.

[Hypocrisy]

"Farangs are ruining thai culture , soceity itself ....so..... thai people should know FARANGNESS first"

FARANGNESS by and large means buying houses, cars, motorbikes, gold, furniture etc etc, on top of the dowry to the wife's parents, plus the occasional 10,000 Baht top up? Do you think stopping all of these dubious actions might just redeem Thai society jeetu65?

I will never understand Thai culture !!!

[terrynair]

Cha am jamal, while I agree with you that Thais can benefit by the presence of farangs, it is quality of the farangs in Thailand which I question. Most come here looking for cheap \\ ////. Many settle down with them and make attempts to champion their causes. Whatever they may be.They have no clue of Thai culture.Most, if not all farangs, come over after a failed marriage in their homeland.They see Thailand as a paradise, where the color of their skin and US dollar is worshipped, esp, by the down trodden in Thai society.

That, in a jist, is my take of the many cheapo farangs.Some of whom have the audacity to complain about their self imposed disadvantages of being married to \\ ////.

Having said that, there are some genuine working class farangs in Thailand.But unfortunately, too few to matter. Who in their right mind would wanna leave a cushy job or family to come live in a third world country? And losers cannot and should not blame religion, for their plight. Especially after a couple of bottles of Singha!

[overhaul38]

a bit like the yanks............ dont know much about their own country and even less about the rest of the world! pity.....

You cannot post anything without some cretin taking the opportunity to bash the YANKS. I suppose you could pass a quiz on world politics, geography, ethics, language, or even about your own country? Try to focus on the subject and save the gratuitous bashing unless you want to discuss the intelligence of your countrymen.