Estimate of Dowry for Girls family

[Rooster]

Chris. You are lucky to get out of this ignorant relationship. I would not buy these parasites any truck either. Who do they think they are...bunch of lazy alcoholics and gamblers? These type of families will not last with their money since they do not know how to work hard and build their own future. There are many examples in Thailand and elsewhere.

[Bush]

I think many "farang" miss the point of the dowry - it is a sign of respect to the family.

Would you buy the wedding ring - then feel aggrieved about how much it cost?

Sure, where a "farang" is involved, a family does expect monies to be substantial, sure. You can obviously afford to travel to this country for holiday, pleasure or business, spend enough time there to meet and "fall in love" with a thai lady.

[RICH]

I agree here, the value of a Thai girl's love and devotion could not be priced anyway. Think yourself lucky to have her and to have the friendship of her family and friends, genuine, not like the materialistic people in UK, Europe and the USA. Quit moaning you westerners, if you cant pay a small dowry to your Thai lady's family or relatives you are indeed sad.

[Ian]

Hi Siri - very appreciate your comments,
information and perspective : which are
some of the most worthwhile in this Forum. I bought that book at Asia Books
- they have it at most of their stores.
You make a good point about looking after parents. It's just that in a lot of farang countries this is done by the government, or other institutions. Our family system is not nearly as strong as in Thailand - as a result of our history.
But the Thai way is probably better - especially for bringing up young children.

[Ian]

Rich - the dowry is often not small, especially with the endless add-ons.
We're not all rich like you !!!

[NT]

Well I am a well-educated one and I DO NOT need any money from my aussie boyfriend!! Don't get us Thai girls wrong!!! The money suckers are EVERYWHERE not just in Thailand. I get a bad image from my boyfriend's family because of the people like you who get the wrong idea about us... Anyway that was upset me a lot when he told me BUT I'll will prove- and NEVER gonna GIVE UP cause we love each other sooooooooo much.. more than the person like you could understand...

[rich]

Ian, surely you are rich enough to pay, being an Eastender the salaries are quite high enough to suppport a Thai family.

[Rooster]

I do not understand what do you meant by adding-on. "Adding-on?" A dowery is a one time deal and sometimes you will get the dowery back depending on the families. The bride gifts are belong to the bride and in turn staying the new family. My second wife just pawned her gold jewelries when the gold topped 10,000 per 1 baht of gold. I agreed with her and told her that I will buy her a new set of jewelries when the economy returned to normal.
Yes, you would be stupid to buy unnecessary things for any of them if they do not earn them.

[Ian]

It's times like these that Rooster speaks a lot of sense - helps us farang understand a lot better the Thai way of doing things. Thanks you Mr. Rooster.

[Peterburke In Phetcabun]

A tradition yes for a virgin perhaps, normally when a farang comes on the scene, the girl has been married and has a child or two.
To put it bluntly she is second hand! dowries have been paid etc. The family and the girl will be just as happy to find a man who wants to care for her and child. In Thailand no social funds to to keep and feed them.
Her new man will give her a future which will nearly always result in a better life here or somewhere else. She if happy will not require a large expense to show off to the neighbours. althrough it can help to put on a show, fully refundable of course.
Or has she forgot what the nieghbours said about her when she went to Pattaya in the first place?
Forget the traditions she did when she first said yes. THE EASY WAY IS TO MARRIED AWAY FROM THE VILLAGE. and visit six months later have a family party perhaps a meal in a hotel( a very rare treat for her family, they will be scared out of their boxes). never build a house in her village, if you gonna live with her in Thailand make sure there is about 25kms between family and yourselves. Then you won;t have to feed everybody. and when you visit you will always be treated with respect. a little something a new trailer, tractor engine or a new motorcycle every six months, or replace the tin roof, build a toliet, or buy a couple of pigs every now and then, will work much better than expensive weddings. and will stop the greed and only for ma and pa do you do this for. The wife and I have done this, married for 7 years lived in Thailand for 3 yrs, 70/30 per cent earnings for PA and MA to look after our farm.
Couldn't ask for a better family and the respect we receive from other relatives. and we have our own life style without problem. they can visit when they want and the same for us. any problems we are only 30 mins away. My wife will spend the day there or they will visit us, we always have a house/baby sitter not far away.
If your woman wants the lot, is she really gonna stop after the wedding?