Sin sod and in-law

[siper]

I supported my gf through colleage and Uni (her parents are not rich), now that she has graduated, i wanted to marry her. But her parents are asking for 1Mil Baht for dowry. I had the money through hard earned savings (i am just a salaried worker), but i find the dowry excessive.

I am afraid this is just a tip of the ice berg. I believe i would have to support the parents in the long run when they are older, ill or in need of money. I do not mind taking care of the parents to the best i can in the long run, but i find the sin sod excessive.

I know my gf would not marry me if the parents dont get what they wanted. Just like most thai girls, the parents wishes are more to important to her than me.

Now what would you do if you were me? I would like to also hear some opinon from Thai girls on this issue.

[Rooster]

You need to send in elder negotiator to negotiate for your case. I would limit the cash dowery to 100,000 baht since you will never see this money again. As for bride gift for your new wife, I would ask her for IOU for now since gold jewelries are over priced.

[AD]

siper 13th ...........Dispite what Rooster says, i am of the opinion that the dowry should be paid by the brides parents to you to ensure that you look after their daughter ?????????? i could be wrong , maybe its only in Thailand that things work the other way around !
Are you sure that they are not making an expensive fool of you ?

[aheaa ja]

I was married to a Thai for 21 years. I did not pay a dowry . But I paid more in 21 years by sending money to her parents, which went to wiskey and pai (cards).

So I say when you marry a Thai you eithr pay now or pay later.

If you can't afford it or are worried then don't get involved with that sweet innocent Land of Smiles.
Why do you think they smile, because they know their gonna get cha and this is called luv.

Honey What?

[FARANG FARANG]

You need to get the hell out of there and do not be insane and hand over anything.
This is a Fraud. Dowries are still common.

You may pay the money and the relationship ends and you will be really sorry for burning your cash.

They are all the same. Pay,pay,pay, and if you fall on hard times, Hit the Road Jack.

Keep your money and there are many women elsewhere who will not ask for Millions.

[FARANG FARANG]

I have also been down that Road and would not touch'em now with a 10 Foot Pole.

I sent the Boy a message which he should get whenever it clears.

Further to this: Same,Same.

To the Thais on this forum talking about Westerners with stacks of cash and 'easy money'.

This is typical of the attitude of most Thais. Farangs have plenty of easy money they found on the streets, and picked from the Trees.

What makes Thailand so special that everyone is trying to get your land? I don't think so. Have these writers ever traveled to see what beauty there is out there. Europe, South America,e.t.c.?

I would strongly advise Foreigners contemplating doing Business in Thailand or Buying anything, think very carefully. The odds are stacked up against you.

You are not seen as a fellow human being, but someone who can Bankroll someone elses dreams.

You are seen as a cash Cow and unless you have great connections, great knowledge, and understand the culture and language very well, be very careful. The odds are really against you.

When problems arise, you will be talked over in Thai by perpetrators and criminals and they will make a deal against youwith the Police, Lawyers or Government and You will lose out, 99.9%.

I have absolutely no doubts that a Property buyer in Thailand if preyed on, and it happens often, can very easily be wiped out or killed by Corrupt Lawyers, Police, a Business partner, and the likes. It happens every day, and often.

Crime against Foreigners in Thailand is in Plague proportions. If anyone has any doubt, read Pattay Mail on the net. You can go back to the Papers inception. Nothing changes.
Crime is rife against Foreigners and the authorities would do everything to keep as much as posssible out of the Media.

But they can only do so much.

Yes there are bad and good everywhere. But take my advice. If you are intent on going to Thailand, have your Holiday, keep a low profile and get out.

Do not tell Thais you want to buy a property or Business. You will get instant friends who will hound you every where you go.

Targeting of Foreigners for Financial gain in places like Pattaya and Bangkok is extremely common. Unfortunately many times it is through crime against Foreigners.

Nothing has changed over the years. Corruption is rife, and do not trust a Thai female to sign to half of your Property. That goes double for a Thai Male.

Thailand is not the Land of the smiles. Farangs wake up! The ones smiling are the Prostitutes or anyone else that wants something out of you. Like your MONEY!

Westerners out there be honest with yourselves. You are not mixing with the Business Elite, Officeworkers, Housewives, and other ordinairy people.

Look at the reality of things and pinch yourselves and don't go off the deep end and get involved in any Business or Property deals.

[TK]

Siper, welcome to Thailand! You should have read all the postings here on the subject of DOWRY! You are right to say that it is the tip of the iceberg - expect more requests and payments! I had 2 decent girlfriends (separate relationships). Mind you, they were working class ladies, not someone I picked up from the bars/clubs. It was sweet initially until they started with the requests for money to sent home - parents need to built a house, brother needs a pick-up, sister needs a computer for schoolwork, grandmother's hospitalised etc (very familiar stories with many of us). To be fair, not all of them are like this but they are of the minority (and the gentlemen fortunate enough not to have them, are very lucky).

[A Thai Girl]

I'm a middle-class Thai girl. I'm totally against the Sinsod system. Some poor Thais exploit this system to get as much money as they can from a Farang guy. My boyfriend is a Farang also. But there'll be no Sinsod when we get married. My parents don't want any money from my boyfriend. And we have pride. I'm not an item that can be sold.

[AD]

Well this is very hard indeed, i see what some are saying and wonder , have they been 'burned' because they are utter fools to begin with, you know ! ......"brains in their balls".
I say this because i have got quite a few friends who have got Thai wives and are perfectly happy, looked after well and get on with their wives relatives. Yes maybe they did 'put their foot down' from the beginning , so there is a lesson to be learned. As for Thai men , yes be careful, they can be real rogues, thats mainly the reason for Thai ladies getting farang husbands, even they know what to expect from the average Thai man. My advice is , dont give the family an inch, let them think that you are mean, if she does'nt like it then tell her to go, you will surely be better off. Having said all that , the falang has to realise that Thai culture is very family orientated, and i will always look after my Thai girlfriends mother, but her alone , brother can make his own arrangements .....fullstop!

[Rooster]

Good for you so called Thai girl. So how much would your parents willing to pay for your wedding ceremony? In the modern western culture, family of the bride pays for the wedding and lot of other things. So if you are too ignorant about your own culture and blindly having eccentric attitude. Perhape, you need to also learn something about your farang's culture first.