Sin sod and in-law

[a passerby]

Colin,
Have you ever tried to catch how your wife feels, the gap between her wellbeing and her feeling about her parents life ?.
If you believe knowing a wife is a job to a husband. Giving out and simply believing own generacity do not assure other's satisfaction. Many men think in that way, including myself.

[colin howard]

passerby ,last night in our local bar we was discussing the many rip offs that has happened to various farangs who have come to live here in thailand ,we all had our own tale to tell ,and to be candid i thought i had one that would top all others for sheer stupidity , not so by a long chalk ,a swiss guy who has lived here for ages ,told us about this english guy who had more money than brains on his first trip here fell head over heels for a young thai lady who was still a virgin ,he rushed to her parents house bursting with testorone asking for there daughters hand in marriage ,her father said ok but you pay 100,000 ,the guy promptly put 100,000 pounds into his account instead of baht !!!,although i can,t testify that this kosher our swiss friend swares on his mothers grave that it is , if so is it any wonder why the thai,s call us "STUPID FARANGS" regards ,colin .

[colin howard]

passerby ,i fully understand what message you are trying to get across believe me,so i,ll try and answer it the best and truthful way i can whether you believe it is entirely up to you , my wife was raised in abject poverty in isan ,and left for bangkok when she was 17 in search of a better life ,she informs me all she ever knew was hard times,hunger and no future whatsover ,she do,s not blame her parents one bit cos they was all poor ,but she says the only person to ever give her hope for a way out for her was me,and me alone , and hardly a day go,s by when she says to me "what i do my life i no have you" also there are many personal things which happened between her and her family which for obvious reasons i won,t go into , its my intention to stay with her until i meet my maker ,but as far as giving her family anything i truly think hell will freeze over before they see one satang , regards ,colin .

[a watcher]

Colin,
Thank you for your scrupulous answer and I believe you are so lucky to find such as nice wife who pours all heart to a man. In the meantime, dont be disturbing but l like to say there is a long asian moral value denoting the relationship between the parents and the children, it is translated as "filial piety" as an western equivalent. the duty of being a child toward parents. I dont think the western civilization is different about this family value as if you might feel toward your parents and so do I always. Another word is "Son-in-laws is always a guest". This means the parents having a daughter must always treat her husband in good hospitality. They can scold own sons but can not scold son-in-law because he is also very important son of others. Sometime, you will care how your wife feel about her parents, I hope and You will not fail. Good Luck, Colin !

[Robert]

Colin

I am glad to see there are some men out there who think with their heads. Just because Thailand has a "custom" there is no need to follow it if the custom is stupid or will involve the loss of the assets you worked so hard for.
I have a friend from CA who fell in love with a Thai girl that he met on his first visit to Thailand. She was in a bar playing pool. She said it was her first night out in three years as she was tending to her boyfriend who was involved in a motorcycle accident (he supposedly is a quad).
Of course he fell in love the first night.
Later on he came into a great deal of money when his father, who owned two condos in Hawaii died and left him the property.
He promptly gave his girlfriend $10,000 USD saying to me, "Isn't she sweet. She said she would give it back to me if we broke up!!!"
Also, in the due course of this romance she supposedly became pregnant after he had returned to the US. He promptly dished out a large sum of money to get the abortion and pay for her other expenses (plus pain and suffering). Was she pregnant??? Up to you to speculate...
Oh, and did I mention she was a good pool player? I wonder where she learned that?

[colin howard]

hi watcher , i always treat my wifes parents and family with the upmost respect ,but my real loyaltys are to my wife and my wife alone ,we,ve had endless long talks about our life together ,and we understand each other perfectly ,i know for sure she has explained my views to her family and now they accept that i,ve give her a lifestyle which is the envy of our village , i,ve always subscribed to the idea that all problems which may arise between man and wife should be talked over in the privacy of your own home and not involve other people ,this for my wife and i has worked perfectly ,its a sort of mutual respect for each others culture which after i explained it to my wife we have never looked back ,i think that many farangs just surrender meekly to the wifes and familys culture ,thats why many finish up an abject failure ,i,ve seen it so often when the farang not only supports the wifes family but many hangers on too,which i prefer to call "leeches " but all in all if you start out how you mean to carry on, life here in thailand can be sheer bliss, regards ,colin .

[Pokercrazy]

I married a wonderful Thai lady last year and call me a mug but I paid a million baht dowry. I used a go between to help negotiate it down from 1.5mill. My wife is an ex TV star, model, beauty queen and college graduate so this sited as one of the reasons it was set so high. I am not rich but I could come with the money without too much difficulty. If I had of married an English girl over in the UK I doubt the total cost would have been less considering the high cost of everything in the UK. Anyhow we are both very happy. She has landed a marketing job with an airline and is contributing to housing costs etc. We are also looking into starting a Thai style business which I could certainly not do without her. So notwithstanding emotional considerations it does not seem a poor investment to me.

[Robert]

Good Luck to you....

But, regarding whether the "investment" is good, only time will tell. The odds, however, are not on your side.

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ROOSTER............i am just reading an old post of yours ( oct 2006 ) If thai men are such good husbands and fathers, can you explain why there are so many Thai girls working in bars in Pattaya working to support their children by Thai fathers, most whom have gone off with their mia noi's ?

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Pokercrazy !!...................you bring to mind a title given to me by Colin Howard.............KHUN JACKPOT.
Funny yes!