We married a little over a year ago and certainly the bride price was a big problem to me in the early stages of our wedding planning. The whole concept of sinsod was as much against my cultural background as it was part of her culture. In her family's social group it would have been a major embarrassment for a daughter to marry without bringing a bride price into the family. I think it is how the matter is handled by the family, that makes it acceptable or unacceptable to a foreigner.
My wife was well educated by her family and always had a well paying job. She always had always contributed "Mother's milk" to her family since she left school and got a job. In our case, my wife and her mother opened a joint bank account and the 250,000 baht sinsod was placed in that account. We also made a gift to her parents of a portion of the wedding present cash we were given, and that was banked in the account as well. I paid for the wedding for some 300 guests but I insisted on some control over our budget so that I would get no nasty surprises and they controlled that part very well. I also bought about 30,000 baht in gold, some of which is for me to wear, not her. We have the gold in New Zealand and we pay a slightly increased "Mother's milk" payment each month, now she is not there to help with family matters. She works part time and contributes to the mothers milk and the housekeeping budget while she attends school to improve her English.
If we ever separate, she gets to keep the sinsod money. Because we stay together, at some point her mother will die of old age and the bank account will default to my wife, which in that event, means us. I feel that both sides of the family have had their culture and their pride respected over the wedding arrangements and is my belief that the family genuinely likes me and respects me. There have been no demands for money for any silly reasons. But as there are several children in the extended family attending university, we and other more affluent members of the family have all given money to help out. In our case the amount has been much less than some others in the family pay because my wife has had some expensive medical treatment and the family respect our financial situation.
I think that in certain parts of Thailand, many families consider the daughter to be a cash cow to be sold as often as possible for as much as possible. Many writers have had disturbing experiences with greedy low-class people. But then these people live in every country and I would not marry into a family like that in my own country. I certainly would not go to another country to marry into a "trailer trash" family.
The solution is simple. Marry a girl from a "Jai Dee" family and you will have no problems. The trick is, it is difficult for a Farang tourist to meet really good Thai girls.
maybe thai habit sometime exist sinson tradition... remneber law make about habits.. can good or no good...
but i think sometime sinson lie people..because a chat sometime thai lady and one say to me 500.000 bath and other 1.000.000 bath .. and i say to she: not exist poor people in thailand because i see in page real state in bkk can buy house nice behind to 2.500.000 baths and luxurios to 10.000.000 baths?
i think maybe thai lady thinking sometime farang rich ... i can writed one example..:
a) farand european are separated and have one or two child and worked? who in home care us child? ummm ... if i pay lady to care us, clean i need pay 600 or 800 euros every month ilegal inmigrated to care us..o.k.
800* 12 month=9600 euros... ok
can i think? i sorprise? nice lady young in thailand .. ok go to thailand marry pay sinson ...500.000 to 1.500.000 bahts= 25000 € maybe ok...
marry thai lady and she comeback to european country.. farang say sometime thai lady he not like have child becausae are tired, busy, dont like... ok
farang men have oldier child ( 10 years) and not need more time to care us to her child..tired to thai lady and after say to she: bye bye..comeback to you country alone, witchout money and oldier
who lie, what its bad? i think that its insult to familiy lady thai sell lady to sell items , who make bad? too ..... family lady thai and farang... only talk tougether for buy and sell and thai lady only see that and not talk about that...
if thai lady like find good farang tougether can talk about other think.. FUTURE FOR FAMILY.... how many child like have tougether, what make thai lady in foreiner country, if thai lady can have independece money, can open simple bussine in thaialnd and sometime can worked thai family to can help serfelf, what like life when are oldier?, when like study child?, etc, etc,...
too lie herself..thai lady and farang men
only like resolving her problem easy and easy think not exist.. care us for think easy
for me sinsod means nothing. only love me is enough.
what is important for married life?
i dont want sinsod if i have to get it and lost the one i love later.
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