Thai tradition

[Juan]

Hello Colin, AD, Robert etc.

I have been reading your posting in this forum and I have to say I most agree with you. Just a breeze of common sense and down to earth wisdom in a desert of plain stupidity and naivety.

Unsuspecting and gullible farangs are easy pray for abuse and scams. Many of these blatant abuses are committed in the holy name of “Thai tradition” as it was the only culture and tradition in the whole world.

In the name of “Thai tradition” young girls that never been out of their village are sent by their parents to Pattaya, Bangkok or Patong-beach in Phuket to work in the sex trade, in many cases to pay for the new pick-up car or repay gambling debts. “Tradition” dictates that a young mother with a baby is ignore by Thai males leaving her not option but going down to work to Pattaya or becoming mia-noi (second-wife). In the name of “tradition” most farangs who married Thais are “taken to the cleaners” paying in some cases astronomical Sin-sot. And so on and so on…..

Many injustices and brutalities are committed in the world in the name of “tradition” many examples spring to mind, not only in Thailand but in Africa in India in Chine in South America, even in “civilized” Europe. In my mind, common sense and humanity should always prevail over “tradition”.

I read Collin saying in one of his postings “why should I pay Sin-sot (dowry) to family for giving my wife a quality of life she never have dreamt” Why should I lend money knowing dam well I will never get it back. Why should I support drinking sessions and pay gambling debts, etc. etc. I suspect that kind of attitude at the end of the day (contrary to what some people think) will gain you respect.

Yes, the moment a farang step in an Isarn village it is seen as an endless source of cash flow. Expectations go wild and if the farang don’t get sharp pretty soon could end up penniless and heart broken. The story it is repeated again and again like that song I used to like in the 80’s “The never ending story”

I am afraid dear friends that your well meant advice is ignore by the majority of us the “dick thinkers” anyway, thanks and Good try!!

[AD]

Well said Juan, and welcome to club "Charlie"

[Ian]

Juan - you're quite correct in a lot of what you say.
But I'd just point out the following :
- the essential difference between Thai (and indeed many other Asian cultures) compared to the West is that children are strongly expected to strongly support parents.
The flip-side of this is that in many respects, children are often cared for better than they are in the West.
Indeed they are continually looked after by the entire village/ town - not just the EXTENDED family.
- many of the girls working in Bangkok,
Pattaya, Phuket, etc., would rather do that than either slave away under the sun in rice-fields, or work in low-paying jobs in their towns and villages.
Many of these girls skipped school big time, or did little or no work when they went to school. They often have a reputation for laziness, and even delinquency, in their villages and towns. But regain respect by snaring some uniformed / stupid farang.
- Thailand's antiquated anti-foreigner laws
are a recipe not only for such snaring scams : but also are dangerously and deeply corroding Thailand's "traditional" social fabric, and indeed Thailand's long-term survival, in numerous ways.

[Robert]

Juan

Your comment "I am afraid dear friends that your well meant advice is ignore by the majority of us the “dick thinkers” anyway, thanks and Good try!!"

Yes, you are so right... As I look back I was a dick thinker myself.. Perhaps we all were at some time. I ignored most of the advice also.. I learned the hard way. Fortunately I protected myself financially so not all was lost. As you say, most advice is ignored but hopefully some will at least get through enough that the foreigner will not be totally blindsided.

Best Regards,

[colin howard]

spot on ian , thai girls are expected to take care of the family that is thai tradition, thats why i made it very plain in the first week or so that as a farang i did not think that i should be leeched on by all and sundry just because i,ve worked and saved all my life, and there was absolutely no way i was subscribing to this avenue of thought , i promised her a life she could only dream of ,but this arrangement was strictly for her and me and no one else , i also give her the simple choice my way or the highway , we have now been together since nov 03 and to be candid we could not be more happy together , we have our own 5 bedroom house and a 3 litre 7 seater station wagon , she has a scooter and a 4 wheeler off roader and is the envy of our village , do you honestly think that if she had stuck to the so called thai tradition and married a thai she could have achieved so much in such a short space of time, regards , colin .

[robin]

Ian,
I think your post was right in a lot of ways, but it was very broad and there are 1000s of situations that get repeated daily that are exceptions. When you say children are supportive of their parents and children are generally better cared for, I would say that supportive is expected of girls and better care is for boys with girls giving the care.
I would be, and maybe it is just here, hard pressed to find any semblance of Traditional Thai social fabric.
Of course I may not know what Thai traditional social fabric is, it may well be what I am seeing, but I don't think so.
Pattaya has been there for 40 or so years and Bangkok for a lot longer, it would more seem to me that they represent at least a few threads in the fabric.

[colin howard]

quite correct robin , thats why if you notice i said thai GIRLS are expected to look after the family , in many cases it is difficult to accertain what the boys role in the family is at all , apart from leeching of his parents and if he,s lucky getting free beers for life off his sisters stupid farang husband , i,ve seen it many times , its" thai culture" the farangs often inform me , i always answer the same , its your money and if you want to subsidise half her family good for you , of course there are many good marriages were the farang keeps his marbles too, it all boils down to common sense do,s it not , colin .

[colin howard]

may god bless you AD for your kind remarks , i will give three hail marys for you at evening mass, for all others membership of club charlie is 1000 baht payable in advance of course , lololol, charlie

[Juan]

Hi Robert,

You are absolutely right, I am just pessimistic about the fact that most of us only listen what we want to listen and as you did, only learn the hard way. How difficult if not impossible it is to pass to somebody your own experience!!

I would like to think that I am in the process of shifting from being a dick thinker to a more subtle kind of thinker (Hopefully) but I don’t really know. So I decided that this forum could be quite handy as it is a priceless source of information and good advice; I wish I found it before!!

Giving second thoughts maybe the really dangerous thing and what causes us a lot of trouble is not the old battered poor dick but the heart. The heart my friend.

Best regards
Juan

[Ian]

Colin -- congratulations mate :
you've done it the right way !
So many don't.