Am I being careful or unfair ?

RE: RE: Am I being careful or unfair ?

Postby SARDINES on Wed Jan 16, 2008 4:35 pm

Colin,

I think we should back off for a sec. Let things play out as it seems they have come to cross roads. the decision she makes now will pretty much show the intentions.

I suggest that we hold off for now and see how things go from here before we judge the lady.

rgds
sardines
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RE: RE: Am I being careful or unfair ?

Postby colin howard on Wed Jan 16, 2008 6:31 pm

hi robert , i,ve seen it twice before were a guy in very much the same circumstances asked for advice then completly ignores it and do,s his own thing regardless , this is quite a common trait in many farangs , who for many reasons finish up with there head on a plaque on the thai ladys wall , what i will never comprehend is why go through all this crap when there is literary thousands of thai ladys willing to take up with them with no strings attached , she,s special , the only girl in the world , i think she loves me but its her parents fault why she,s against me, anything but face up to the truth , its ok to lie to other people i suppose but when you start to lie to yourself you are morally bankrupt , no doubt anyone reading this are in no disillusions how i feel , but what you see is what you get and as long as you make it plain from the very start it can be a great life here in thailand , colin
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RE: RE: Am I being careful or unfair ?

Postby AD on Wed Jan 16, 2008 7:21 pm

Rooster 15th ...............Why don't you suggest he gets the bar boss to negotiate, it might only cost him Bht 500.
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RE: RE: Am I being careful or unfair ?

Postby AD on Wed Jan 16, 2008 7:25 pm

Robin 15th .................IMO the advice from Rooster is
"utter rubbish" ..............its Colin's way or the highway.
In matters such as this , Rooster is quite out of his depth.
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RE: RE: Am I being careful or unfair ?

Postby AD on Wed Jan 16, 2008 7:33 pm

APJ 15th ...................Congratulations, you are doing the right thing, the ball is in her court now. And i also have to compliment you, as i think you must be the first person who has written in here regarding their girlfriend who has'nt started by telling us ............................. " I have fallen in love with a Thai girl , BUT she is'nt a bar girl" ..............You have got your feet on the ground for sure , so take notice of Colin and good luck.
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RE: Am I being careful or unfair ?

Postby Ian on Wed Jan 16, 2008 7:44 pm

AJP - you've been extremely generous giving her parents 7,000 baht per month.
The usual rate is 3,000 !!
And that's when the parents are helping to look after your kid !
If she's now taking her father's side asking for 700,000 "sin sodd" plus gold bars, she's just been joy-riding at your expense, all the while palnning this long-term financial kill. Many of these girls,
and their families are very, very patient and extremely long-term thinking. "Sin sodd" is a debilitating hang-over from Thailand's feudal past.
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RE: RE: Am I being careful or unfair ?

Postby Robert on Wed Jan 16, 2008 7:59 pm

APJ

I would question her comment that father told her that she HAS to leave you... This sounds more like father and daughter are working this thing together.....against you.
I don't see any happy ending to this.. It is a game we see played over and over again.. It is all a big bluff to see what can be extracted from you.
A bird (meaning you) in the hand is better than a bird (meaning rich man) in the bush.. They are not going to let you go... After all you have been supporting them up to now.
They are trying to get as much as possible. You called their bluff. But in the end, even if she and her father back off their ridiculous demand, where are you? Will you ever be able to trust them again?
You are still faced with someone who has tried to lure your money away... Even if you win this round, they will wait until another day and another game with you.. They have shown their true colors.
I would walk..
Whatever you do I wish the best for you. It is a difficult situation when your head and your heart do battle with each other..
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RE: Am I being careful or unfair ?

Postby alfred on Wed Jan 16, 2008 9:04 pm

APJ, I married a bar girl, and we have a great life here in the U.S. Her father needed to go to the hospital to have tumors removed from his kidneys; the family agreed that we should let the Thai government foot the bill! They never asked me for one single baht. When we married my father-in-law, an honorable man, asked for 10,000 baht and that I give his mother-in-law 10,000 baht; that was $500.00 USD seven years ago. I paid for a simple wedding that lasted two days, another $500.00 USD. I adopted my wife's son; I love that boy so much. He loves me as well. He's ten, speaks fluent English , read and writes as well. I am treated equally by the family. There are six sisters. We all pay one sixth of any expense related to my father-in-law. My wife's mother passed on many years ago. He never asks for money. Don't let your wife hold your heart for ransom. Tell her not to come back if they want that much money. I'm 43 and my wife is 37, so everything can work out. You must stand up for yourself and not be taken advantage of by your fiance's family.
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RE: RE: Am I being careful or unfair ?

Postby colin howard on Thu Jan 17, 2008 9:43 am

hi sardines , APJ asked for advice and now he,s got it , only the brain dead would side with his intended and her parasitic family , i,ve always admired and respected your opinion on all subjects , but sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind and on affairs like like this and often the truth hurts , regards , colin .
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RE: RE: Am I being careful or unfair ?

Postby colin howard on Thu Jan 17, 2008 9:48 am

hi alfred , it looks like you have got your life well and truly sorted, and it gives me great pleasure into reading about someone i believe has got his head screwed on the right way , all the best to you your wife and family , regards , colin .
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