Are there any good marriages out there?

Are there any good marriages out there?

Postby terry on Tue Apr 20, 2010 10:11 am

The reason I started this post was to hear good stories of couples getting together. All of the bad things I have heard in Thailand I have seen here in the USA. I treat my wife very well but still now and then she goes over board on spending. As a family we go to to the Wat once a week. Maybe that is the reason for a strong marriage.
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Re: Are there any good marriages out there?

Postby MrAtPeace on Tue Apr 20, 2010 7:03 pm

I'm a 71 year old American man married with a 45 year old Thai woman. We live in Khon Kaen. Our 6th wedding anniversary is next week.

I have never in my life been loved and respected as I have in the past 6 years and, in turn, never realized my capacity to love and respect a woman as I love and respect my wife.

We have never argued or said mean things to each other and every day we express our gratitude for being with each other. Neither of us drink or smoke or have any distractions that would delude our relationship, yet we are both independent individuals. We have never been unfaithful to each other.

I could go on and on. In closing I'll also say my love for Thailand grows each day and I am honored to live in The Land of Smiles.

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Re: Are there any good marriages out there?

Postby potluck on Tue Apr 20, 2010 7:37 pm

As you can imagine,I am older than my thai wife.I am also terminally ill and was such when we met.I have never loved my wife,so any thought of infidelity is hard to bring up any feelings of revenge.I have not liked my wife from the beginning.I despised her money grubbing parents,and her docile attitude with others from the beginning.She got impregnated on the second date,although the date was 3 months from the first time we met.I was traveling in and out of country.I wanted to take care of the toddler,so she has dual citizenship and we live in the USA.But she is well aware daddy does not love mommy.I am very depressed and it is very hard to hide it around them.Until an act of God appears,I am in it for the long run.They will have a small pension till the child turns 18 and her college education financed through a branch of the United States government from which I am retired.I was highly medicated when we met and made many bad decisions,not only marrying.It has been 4 years now and I thought I would of been expired long ago.I do not like the thought of the child growing up in the United States but that's what the mother wants.Lots of children have to go to private schools to keep them from getting they're throat slashed on the way to school from other kids.It's a very bad situation here.Then there's the tormenting,that I think if could be avoided,it should.Anyway that will be the child's lot here since her mother seriously behind on the ways of life.
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Re: Are there any good marriages out there?

Postby MrAtPeace on Tue Apr 20, 2010 8:05 pm

Potluck...stop feeling sorry for yourself. You are making life miserable for your wife and child, yet you talk like a victim. Try being grateful. Really, make a list of what you're grateful about. Be respectful of your wife and child.
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Re: Are there any good marriages out there?

Postby Charlies on Wed Apr 21, 2010 4:32 am

I am not certain this is a good example of good marriage out here or not but I have been married for 20 years, have 4 kids and I am still very young 38 yrs old. My children are all grow up, 18, 17, 15 twin.


terry wrote:The reason I started this post was to hear good stories of couples getting together. All of the bad things I have heard in Thailand I have seen here in the USA. I treat my wife very well but still now and then she goes over board on spending. As a family we go to to the Wat once a week. Maybe that is the reason for a strong marriage.
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Re: Are there any good marriages out there?

Postby rickinfla on Wed Apr 21, 2010 9:13 am

terry wrote:The reason I started this post was to hear good stories of couples getting together. All of the bad things I have heard in Thailand I have seen here in the USA. I treat my wife very well but still now and then she goes over board on spending. As a family we go to to the Wat once a week. Maybe that is the reason for a strong marriage.


Hello everyone I am Rick I lived in Florida, I'm 38 my wife is 34.
I feel I have a good Marriage with my wife, we just had our 1 year anniversary, we have not had too many fights mostly bickering about her driving. I think our situation is a little different from other men who have married Thai ladies, I have 2 friends here in Florida, one married an Au pair the other I think met similar to the way my wife and I met which was through the net. I was introduced to Ning from a friend who was friends with her online. My wife and I started chatting in2004 around the time of the Tsunami. We continued our courtship online until I saved up 2 years and went to Thailand Sept 2006 the day after the coup. I had planed to Stay but with all the visa rules and family problems I came home and did a K1 visa. I recommend K3 to any one considering to do the K1. I lived in Chonburi near Bang Sean University for 5 months and dated my wife, met her parents went to Maha Sarakham stayed with the family for a week, took a bath out side,ate things I would not normally eat . Now my wife has been in US for one year, she has a job we are saving to go do our Thai wedding. I did build a new house for her family with an inside bathroom and sit down toilet. I do send money home every month until we go do the wedding. All these things I did not really want to do but I understand the custom, I speak some Thai, I taught myself to count to 1000 and say greetings and good byes before I went to Thailand. I have tried to be open minded through this deal, I can see where people think how these women are money hungry but I did not want to leave her mom and dad living in a shack with no income because I married the daughter who was an assistant accounting manager for a Japanese company. I lived poor but never that poor. I think it helps to try to know the culture, to try and understand the customs, and be open minded. My wife and I are taking care of my mother who has diabetes, my niece who has had 2 heart transplants and I can not drive because I had a stroke at 23 and lost some of my peripheral vision. My wife is kind giving I do not have any question about her love for me nor do I have a worry of her cheating. I think immigration has given us so many hoops to jump through she would not want to do it again. I took the time to get to know my wife and know her values, I wanted a good woman and I found one. I was introduced to a Nurse at the same time but all she wanted to do was come to the US and work as a Nurse so she could make money. Ning only wanted to know about me and my family.
I dated a Filipina a year before my wife and she ran me in 12 thousand dollars of debt, and cheated on me with her boss while I baby sat her kids. I did not take the time to know her like I did with my wife. This is my good story so far.
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Re: Are there any good marriages out there?

Postby sunny on Wed Apr 21, 2010 12:38 pm

I'm a special case, no need to explain all.
My wife is an instructed Buddhist, I have been 20 years ago ordained Buddhist monk (short time) in Thailand. I retired in Germany (Grammar school teacher) to work in a Buddhist Wat in Tak province where I met my wife. We married Lana-Style.
We have a marriage contract based on the Teaching of Lord Buddha. This contract we explain together to Thai-Farang couples in our area.
1. Mutual take care
2. Sincerity (open mind, open heart, open mouth)
3. Do what you say honestly
4. Share your income.
5. Take care of mother and father when their old and weak.
6. Give good instruction to your children.

The biggest misunderstanding is: Take care. Most Thai families think the "rich" Farang has to take care of all the familiy-members (10 to 100), motocycle for the nephew, car for the brother etc. Farangs think: my wife \\ //// my money to give to her family - distrust follows.

You can avoid this. I printed Buddhist suttas concerning this misunderstanding in Thai, Thai-Pali, English, English-Pali. Some Farangs understood quickly and use my paper successfully: They paid special eye-glasses for their mother in law, school-fees for children, because it's their Buddhist duty. Other support for the Thai-family is free, no one can ask that they have to do it. When it comes the family-members have to say thank you with a big wai.
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Re: Are there any good marriages out there?

Postby techapichetvanich on Wed Apr 21, 2010 1:49 pm

Whether you have good marriage or not, it all depends on you. If you think you are happily married, then you will be happy. Eventhough you are given money, faithful husband/wife, and other needs, but if you couldn't make yourself happy, then you will not be happy at all. Simple and easy!

I have been married for 15 years, and this year going to be 16. We went through many good and bad time. Looking back again, those were little things in life. It is just how you see life. Right now, me and my partner have understood each other better and better, eventhough I could not guarantee our future. Who knows the future?

Now I lean more to GOD. I pray more for GOD to lead my life as life ahead is very uncertain.
Last edited by techapichetvanich on Thu Apr 22, 2010 6:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Are there any good marriages out there?

Postby sunny on Wed Apr 21, 2010 4:15 pm

Eventhough you are given money, faithful husband/wife, and other needs, but if you couldn't make yourself happy, then you will not be happy at all. Simple and easy!
---------------------------------------------------------
Absolutely right. It's the Teaching of Lord Buddha, of Jesus and other spiritual masters.
First take care of yourself. Make your mind and heart clear, clean, cool, calm. When you dont' have the quiet happiness, how can you give happiness to others?
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Re: Are there any good marriages out there?

Postby sunny on Wed Apr 21, 2010 5:05 pm

I forgot to explain: share your income. The meaning is, that man and woman open their books. I have this, you have this.
What can we do with our income (money)?

The Teaching of Lord Buddha is: Put your money together and then:
One third is for you and me ( food, house, electricity, water, medicine)
One third is for development and security (insurances, studies, business etc.)
One third is for tambun (support of good monks, family and friends, neighbors, social help)

This system works!

We had problemes with money from Germany the last two months . But in our village not. People came with food, we had credit everywhere. Why? I give basic medical treatment for sick people and never ask money.
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