Lawyers are bad news

BOOK Reviews

Sail by James Patterson & Howard Roughan 448 pp, 2009 Arrow paperback Available at Asia Books and leading book stores, 325 baht

No practice has been the butt of more nasty comments than the legal profession. The jibes and jokes have it that lawyers are greedy, heartless, unprincipled, liars, sharks, etc. Yet novels about courtroom dramas fly off the shelves and more than a few people need them for one reason or another.

The villain in Sail is one of the most unsavoury lawyers in literature, though he may well have counterparts in real life. The writer is James Patterson - several of whose works of fiction are co-authored, by Howard Roughan this time round. Whether one puts more work into it than the other is anybody's guess.

This reviewer dares say it wasn't Patterson, sole scrivener of the intricate Alex Cross series because Sail is redolent of a soap opera, which isn't his style. Nevertheless, it's interest-holding throughout. If you hated lawyers before, you'll detest Peter Carlyle here. One of the most unscrupulous and successful legal eagles in the Big Apple, it was his charm and feigned kindness that won the heart of his fair lady.

Wealthy widow Katherine Dunne didn't need to work so hard as a heart surgeon, yet she felt that she was making a difference. It was comforting to have the fortune her late husband left her, so that she could shower it on her three children to make up for her not being there for them. But she knew in her heart of hearts that money can't buy you love.

Peter presented himself as the father they sorely needed and the spouse who would take up the adjoining space in her bed and they were wed. In fact he was after her $100 million and had a mistress. To get rid of Katherine and the brats, he hired a hit man. Devoux was formerly with the CIA (another example of bad press for the Agency).

Hundreds of pages are devoted to Devoux destroying the sailboat on which Katherine and her brood are taking a cruise, their ordeal in a liferaft and then surviving on an uninhabited Caribbean isle. The author throws in a shark and a boa constrictor for good measure. And a Coke bottle with a message that actually reaches civilisation.

The US Coast Guard can't find them (Devoux's doing), Peter does (he's a licensed pilot) but is thwarted from killing them. Knowing him now for what he is, the family has him arrested. Hiring a defence lawyer as good as himself he gets off and with a chunk of the fortune besides. Not so fast! A DEA agent has him in her sights.

The last few chapters (every chapter is four pages long) has more twists than a roller-coaster. Lots of sex between Peter and his girlfriend who, it turns out, has her own agenda. Other personae include Katherine's brother-in-law, hubby No. one, her shrink, an intimidating distaff talk show host.

The book's message is that lawyers are bad news.