Purple pride on the page

The history of gay magazines in Thailand is full of stresses and struggles. And for Jay (not his real name), he has suffered pretty much the same strains.

''The first thing I stole in my life was a gay magazine,'' confesses Jay, 26. ''I stole it out of curiosity to know what was inside and equally out of fear that others would realise that I am gay if I just walked in there and bought it.''

That was the first and, fortunately, the only time Jay did something against the law.

Back then he was only 17. But in Thai society, where sexual orientation is almost synonymous with social value, Jay is in fact not alone.

When gay rights activist Natee Teerarojjanapongs bought his very first gay magazine, the young lad did not feel comfortable about it either.

''I had to buy it and read it discreetly,'' recalls Natee, founder of the Gay Political Group of Thailand. ''But it [the magazine] made me realise that I am not the only person in this world who lives with this kind of sexual orientation.''

The beginning of gay magazines in our Land of Smiles dates back to over three decades ago when they were first introduced into Thai gay society.

According to Assoc Prof Peter Jackson, founder of the Thai Queer Resource Centre, gay magazines in Thailand were in fact born out of the social prejudice people have towards homosexuals.

''Both gay men and lesbians have usually had to encounter a lot of obstacles receiving messages from mainstream media because it is full of bias when it comes to discussing topics about homosexuality. When people with sexual diversity do not have a fair media channel to receive useful information, they have to start creating one by and for themselves,'' explains Jackson, also a senior fellow in Thai history at the Australian National University's Research School of Pacific and Asian Studies.

But the road for gay magazines in Thailand has never been a bed of roses because homosexuality is among the several subjects in society considered as taboo, making it unacceptable and unspeakable for the majority of people.

Like it or not, gay magazines are believed to be very sex-oriented and to encourage reckless and promiscuous sexual behaviour. They are also believed to have published mountains of sex-related content, not to mention nude pictures presenting provocative bodies of macho men.

But on the other side of the coin, gay magazines in Thailand are, according to Natee, one effective way to promote HIV/Aids awareness.

As an HIV/Aids prevention advocate, Natee is of the opinion that gay magazines are successful in protecting Thai male homosexuals from contracting HIV/Aids because they provide information regarding the infection and preventative measures.

''Twenty years ago, we gay men regarded HIV/Aids as nothing but a killer. It was a horrible yet inevitable fact. Gay magazines however have changed this misbelief. Reading the magazines, we now know how to stay far away from the epidemic disease,'' Natee notes.

The gay rights activist also adds that in the view of the majority of male homosexuals, gay magazines are a saviour in the way that they help young men break free from the concept of patriarchy, in which sons are expected to marry a good woman, to be a family leader and be seen by their fathers as heir to their family linage.

Additionally, gay magazines also provide Thai male homosexuals with emotional relief. They function as an asylum for when gay men are pressured by family expectations or when are upset with their sexual orientation, life's problems or any personal issues, the activist adds.

Besides, the magazines show the possibility for a gay couple to live together in society as a family, as well as help to make this possibility a reality by running match-making or relationship-advice columns.

''It [a matchmaking column] is a place where a gay man can meet, and perhaps fall in love with another gay man. By this, we are sending a message to society that gay men can live happily as a couple without troubling anyone,'' notes Natee.

''A lot of male homosexuals are particularly interested in love-advice columns in gay magazines and surprisingly a number of them _ I for one _ have benefitted from magazine match-makers,'' Jay recalls with a giggle.

Despite being hidden under the bed or in the closet, gay magazines are where male homophiles mirror their true identity, according to Prempreeda Pramoj na Ayutthaya, a transgenderer researcher.

''At home, gay magazines are usually hidden somewhere because those who buy them feel ashamed to bring them out and read them in public.

''But the magazines also take up a role of presenting a clear-cut and concrete difference between gay men and katoeys [transgenderers], enabling male homosexuals to find their true gender identity in those magazines,'' says Prempreeda, another coordinator at the Thai Queer Resource Centre.

Unfortunately, however, the future of gay magazines in Thailand does not look so promising.

The widespread availability of the Internet, as well as the boom in online communication make the cyber world a more convenient, more appropriate and more open space where homosexuality-related content is welcomed and distributed at a lower cost.

Danai Linjongrat from the Rainbow Sky Association of Thailand says one of the reasons the gay magazine industry in Thailand has faced a social hindrance is because the concept of homosexuality has long been overpowered by a mainstream gender approach.

In Thailand, Danai continues, mainstream gender values have played a very significant role in dictating how the ideal man should be. It applauds men and women who behave according to the norm and thus discriminates, if not disdains, those who behave otherwise.

Such is one of the most important threats to the growth of the gay magazine industry in Thailand, including but not limited to Saifon Ton Roong (The Rain and a Rainbow), a gay magazine created by a homosexual community with Danai as the editor-in-chief.

''A media channel for homosexuals in Thailand aims to give them a space free from social inequality. But they will never be widely accepted if most people still think of gender issues only as involving sex organs,'' comments Danai.

Pongpeera Patpeerapong, editor of More than Man magazine, echoes the same sentiment. He strongly wishes that the public redefine their ''social values'' and change their attitudes towards people with sexual diversity.

''I want gay magazines to break the down the wall that blocks people's understanding and positive attitudes towards homosexuality in Thailand,'' says the editor.

Although the threat to the development of gay magazines in Thailand is obviously foreseen, a small group of people, especially the homosexuals themselves, still keep the faith about their future.

Virach Suwanwilaikul, Max Magazine editor, hopes that gay magazines will one day be accepted as a fair option for Thai gay men to access information about their everyday lives.

''Gay men are not special people. We do not want any extra privileges. What we want is rights as equal as everyone else in society,'' Virach remarks.

''I think one word that best describes what we hope for in the future of gay magazines in Thailand is 'Lepra' _ liberty, equality, pride, rights and acceptance,'' Natee concludes.