Few things wake you up more sharply when reading a scan of toxin levels in your body than the words ARSENIC: HIGH.
Even more worrisome was MERCURY: EXCESS.
Scanning lower down the printout was also LEAD: HIGH- and ALUMINIUM: HIGH-.
In what was becoming my own periodic table of heavy metals, I was HIGH+ in cadmium, HIGH- in bismuth and beryllium and in silver -- not of the exchangeable sort -- I was HIGH+.
Thank god my antimony, nickel, platinum, thallium and thorium were considered to be at normal levels. I probably wouldn't be writing this without these new metallic mates.
But the inevitable conclusion of my heavy metal intoxication was 86% unsatisfactory.
Where does all this bodily pollution come from? The truth is, not enough scientific research has been conducted to be 100% sure. Arsenic lies naturally in ground water but is also used in crop-spraying. There's plenty of lead clogging the air of busy cities, a by-product of heavy industries. As for mercury? I never did believe those tooth fillings were safe.
Having witnessed at first hand in Brazil the debilitating effects of mercury poisoning from gold mining, where it is used to separate the metal from the ore, I can testify it is terrifying. It erases the mind, as I saw in a man in Belize who worked nights and slept days above a gold-refining shop, rendering him literally hopeless, a blank piece of paper requiring 24-hour assistance.
But it's also closer to home. Beware the humble tuna fish sandwich. So many big ocean fish are like mercury mines partly because waste from chemical processes involving mercury is simply tipped into the nearest watercourse and it moves up the food chain. But I blame most of my mercury poisoning from dental amalgam and spending five years living in Beijing where, from November to May, every public housing unit north of the Yangtze is heated by burning coal, mercury residue from which blankets this second most polluted city in the world and which happily takes up residence in your kidneys and brain, proving as hard to dislodge as squatters in an empty posh house in London. One academic study I read says it can take 18 years to eradicate from your body. It's even found in cosmetics and contact lens fluid.
Turning to minerals, I was very low in phosphorous and chromium and a mere low in vanadium, iodine, selenium and sulphur; satisfactory in magnesium, silicon, sodium, potassium, iron, cobalt and molybdenum; normal+ in zinc, but high+ in boron. A bit like any street gang of chemical confederates, some good, some average and some very, very bad.
In short: My mineral deficiencies were 100% unsatisfactory with an acceptable 40% excess.
So what can this all mean? Fatigue, depression, anxiety, obesity, Parkinson's disease, cancer, heart disease, renal failure, dermatitis, insomnia, memory and concentration problems … the list goes depressingly on and on, if only I could remember it all. Did I mention memory problems?
So what do we do after eschewing large ocean fish and having our mercury fillings replaced (by an expert)?
First and foremost, a better diet higher in greens and lower in fat, a detoxification regime of which this would be part, and more exercise.
On this latter note, I had been exercising vigorously for an hour every two days with a highly qualified personal trainer for the last four months and less vigorously and effectively alone for the eight prior to that. I guarantee having a PT is more effective but costly. I had been juicing my greens, although this had slackened off a bit, but, the doctor informed me, I wasn't eating enough or frequently enough, so my body was not shedding fat but storing it for times of "famine", ie when you skip dinner, or get the munchies late one night and skip breakfast the following morning because you are full from the late meal. And this stores the bad stuff in fat. So just cutting down on food intake can fatten you up.
A good night's sleep is also a vital factor, it was stressed. Our bodies start producing naturally a substance known as melatonin when it gets dark. A natural sleep window is 9.30-10.30/11pm. The liver and kidneys essentially stop work at 6pm. By ignoring this and demanding overtime of our bodies on a regular basis, by eating and sleeping late, stress develops. With stress comes the risk of cardiovascular disease and diabetes and, er, more memory loss.
Why had I gone through this useful but depressing analysis?
About a year ago I had undergone a detox and experimental treatment based on stem cell research in which a sample of my blood was placed in a centrifuge and the concentrated red platelets separated and injected into my knees, both long-suffering from agonising osteoarthritis that made climbing down stairs particularly difficult and anything uphill not much better. This was exacerbated by the fact I had lived with the condition for 10 years because doctors told me it was irreversibly degenerative and the only ultimate respite would be new knee joints, a prospect I shuddered at and was told to leave to the last minute. Otherwise it was a short-lived microsurgery process called an arthroscopy.
How wrong they were, as I discovered at Thanyapura Sports Hotel in Phuket, where world-renowned stem-cell and anti-ageing researcher Professor Michael Klentze, still a consultant there but now with other responsibilities, took me under his wing.
Within days, the pain was gone, detox was in full swing and I faced a rehabilitation process to regain strength in my knees.
This magazine featured my report in April last year under the cover line: "The Six Million Baht Man. Does Phuket have the stem cell technology to rebuild him?" It was a play on the US 1970s TV series The Six Million Dollar Man, in which an astronaut is seriously injured and rebuilt using the latest technology.
So, one year on was I less fat? No. I am 1.6kg heavier, but the good news is I have added 1.7kg of extra muscle. I have 0.7kg less fat, and my metabolic age is four years younger although far higher than it should be (one poor patient aged 38 was told her metabolic age was 68, leaving her most distressed; however, a "sensible" lifestyle can cut that dramatically and quickly, the experts say).
The doctor says I should shed 10kg in a year or risk diabetes Type 2, gout and/or heart disease and the awful consequences of that, not to mention a stroke. But she was encouraging of my progress.
In summary, no, I am not the Six Million Baht Man yet, not by a long way. But if I abstain totally from alcohol for three months, get my mercury tooth fillings replaced by a professional, continue a vigorous exercise regime, sleep well and eat better and more regularly, I should be worth a few baht more than I currently am. I'll be shaking the piggy bank of my body in three months and hope to hear the clatter of a few coins rather than the deadly thump of heavy metals and the absence of sound from any vital mineral resources.
Mark Hughes is an international editor of the Bangkok Post. He stayed as a guest of Thanyapura Sports Hotel, which offers a variety of facilities including an Olympic swimming pool, tennis and basketball courts and football pitch, two well-equipped gyms with fully trained instructors and a variety of medical treatments and levels of accommodation. Visit www.thanyapura.com for more information.
