We're not unimpressed by the option of frames and shades spectacle labels have to offer this season. Oh no, not at all. Just the names of all their fabulous products are kind of a downer when getting round to ordering new glasses: "I'd like to get the RX4246V please" or "the SPR 56S". Geez, even typing that felt like accounting. Wouldn't it be added value to the consumer's experience to have more relevant and memorable product names to recite with enthusiasm at checkout? That's why we decided to rechristen some of our favourite designer eyewear from this season. You're welcome.
I Forgot to do my Brows
Dolce & Gabbana
From the perspective of a makeup enthusiast, there's a complex prioritisation of routine when we're in a rush in the morning -- which is bound to happen. Base and coverage are a given -- they go beneath everything -- followed immediately by eyeliner or mascara, or else eyes are non-existent. Blush and shading are usually optional -- guys barely notice the difference -- and lipstick is tucked into every corner of our lives, so no worries. That leaves eyebrows as severely susceptible to getting forgotten, which is brutal if you don't have naturally full eyebrows. But with these eyeglasses with built-in Cara Delevingne brows, our days of frantically running to a 7-Eleven for the wrong shade of eyebrow pencil are over, praise the lord!
The Boy Who Lived
Oliver People & The Row
Round glasses have made a huge comeback in the last few years, along with wearing glasses over contact lenses in general. This isn't the first time a pair of glasses has reminded you of Harry bloody Potter, but not many round glasses mimic the iconic spectacles down to the old-fashioned metallic rims. So if you're a true fan of "the boy who lived" and wish to cosplay his look more precisely, you know that Oliver People has exactly what you're looking for.
Daikon Legs
Prada
Sorry, Prada, but we mean this in the most endearing way. These white, relatively chunky eyeglass legs remind us of the expression in Japan and Korea for the particularly pale and plump legs of a woman. And you know what? Chunky is funky. The stark separation of bright white and dark acetate also makes this piece of eyewear far from discreet, but a bold and confident choice.
Babe in Disguise
Vogue
She's a quintessential character in cheesy romantic dramas of all kinds. That girl whose attractiveness you somehow pass over for chasing false beauties. But the difference between fiction and real life is that in real life, it isn't dead easy to spot "the one" as it is in a lakorn, OK? The disguise is truly subtle and ultimately impactful. At a glance, you're wondering why these pair made the ranks of our spectacular picks, but look at them longer and you'll see the irresistible sexiness that was there from the start.
Minions on Vacation
Oliver People & The Row
What's yellow and blue and looks like they're having a good time in the sun? Minions on vacation, of course! These fun shades have a 60s as well as tropical vibe that, we warn, may inspire an acute craving for piña coladas and a disco. So user discretion is highly advised. Guru will not be held responsible for effects such as jaundice and a loss of intelligible language after wearing these sunnies.
Searching for Atlantis
Giorgio Armani
If you're some kind of designer yourself, figuratively you're constantly in search of Atlantis, a legendary place full of superior technology and design lost to common man -- or something epic, for short. That's why these shades are perfect for you. They remind us of a very true-to-himself character from Disney's Atlantis, and if you have a tendency for geeking out about your passions and accomplishments, these sunglasses are so edgy, they'll help you keep your cool.
The Pikachu
Dolce & Gabbana
If you're a fan of Pokemon and especially of its incredibly adorable brand ambassador (albeit a pretty useless Pokemon), you need to stop what you're doing and admire these sunny shades right now. Like the effect of seeing Pikachu, these shades are sure to make you smile from the colour and cuteness. The Pikachu, as we've dubbed them, even insinuates the appearance of lightning with its striking yellow top frame. Wear these and you'll energise everyone who gazes upon you. Now that's a real power.
The Hipster Motorhead
Ray-Ban
We're pleasantly surprised by this gritty garage look from Ray-Ban, a brand that traditionally creates polished eyewear for pilots and rockstars. Admire this frame's appearance of having just come out of a Mad Max environment, airbrushed in rust and dirt. Meanwhile, an elegantly lightweight body counteracts the ruggedness, creating a righteous piece of eyewear for the hipster motorhead.
