It’s a New Year norm for media outlets to come up with year-end lists. Since we here at Guru are authorities in everything, we present you with our superlative lists of all the craziness that made up 2014. Happy New Year, everyone!
MOST WTF FACEBOOK PAGES
The Thai Facebook sphere is a myriad of mind-boggling marvels. In 2014 alone, we spotted many pages that will both surprise and delight you. The three nominees are:
Change of Scenery
Since our prime minister is so focused on bringing happiness back to Thais, we think it’s fair to return the favour by bringing him some glee too. Check out Plian Chak Lang Hai Than Phu Num (http://www.fb.com/happybackground) where people have superimposed General Prayut Chan-o-cha’s image in funny situations and backgrounds — from having him make a heart sign with his arms while standing in front of a Korean girl group, him as Dumbledore in Hogwarts’ Great Hall and him as a fairy godmother (our favourite).
Santa Prayut orders ministries to come up with New Year gifts for Thais. Photo: fb.com/happybackground
Fab Fashion
Yar Ploi Katoey Wai Kab Phar (http://www.fb.com/yarploikatoeywaikabphar) answers a burning question: What do some gay men do when they are left alone with beautiful and shiny cloth? The answer: They wear it like the world’s most expensive dress and pose like a supermodel. The page’s name unofficially translates to “Don’t leave kathoey alone with fabric”. See how they strike fierce looks in their impromptu gorgeous gowns. Their pictures should bring smiles to your face. You go, gays!
Can you handle all this fabulosity? Photos: fb.com/yarploikatoeywaikabphar
Photoshop Me Please
Check out Rob Kuan Tad Tor Phap Hai Noi Si (http://www.fb.com/retouchpls) if you have a picture of yourself that could use some improvement. Pick your mundane picture, send it to the admin along with a funny request and wait for free and hilarious results by the page’s members. You can ask for something basic like getting rid of a stranger’s leg or go creative by having yourself ride a unicorn.
Or just give up on life and become a cat. Photo: fb.com/retouchpls
BIGGEST BLUNDERS
Think you haven’t done so well in 2014? Check out these people who will probably remember it as the year that they made a giant oops:
Bikini Blunder
Watch what you say, especially if you’re the leader of a country. Our PM made a controversial remark following the murder of two Brits on Koh Tao that is wrong on many levels. On Sep 17, he said tourists think Thailand is beautiful and safe and that they can do and wear whatever they want. He added, “May I ask, ‘Is wearing a bikini in Thailand safe?’ Only if you aren’t pretty.” While he claims he said it in jest, it was very insensitive to the two victims. Moreover, the female victim was found wearing a pink top and shorts. The next day, he offered an apology in case his words had offended anyone (it did) and insisted he just wanted to warn tourists to be careful.
Hidden Hitler
Adolf Hitler, the guy who was at the centre of the Holocaust and is still the World’s Most Evil Person That Ever Lived, made a cameo appearance in one of the films commissioned by the current government to promote Thai values. The 11-minute film, entitled “30”, is directed by Kulp Kaljaruek, who is a manager at Kantana Group, one of the country’s largest production companies. In it, a schoolboy is seen painting a portrait of Hitler and his classmate then applauds. The film was intended to illustrate the value of “learning about democracy”. The director said he didn’t expect the use of Hitler to be an issue at all since he has already seen him on T-shirts everywhere. He went on to say that Hitler is the character of the child who is a spoiled, wealthy schoolboy who always gets his way. This isn’t the first time Thais have tried to make Hitler a hit. Maybe it’s time to rethink how we teach WWII history in school – or maybe start teaching it.
Can you spot the odd man out?
Monk Meltdown
Thai Buddhist monks aren’t the same as Shaolin monks. They aren’t supposed to execute killer moves on anyone. Well, that wasn’t the case for one particular monk who lost his temper while on a Bangkok-Phitsanulok train on Dec 7. The monk was sleeping when a farang guy named Jeff asked in English if he could sit with him. The monk woke up and said he couldn’t understand what Jeff had said. Jeff asked again and reportedly his sentence included “fine, fine” which the monk interpreted as Jeff calling him buffalo (kwai). The monk got up and slapped Jeff in the face due to his lack of English. Shouldn’t the monk (or any real Buddhist) handle any insult with calmness and forgiveness? Jeff didn’t take legal action against the monk. Very Buddhist of him.
What did you just call me?
MOST ANNOYING VIRAL VIDEOS
We hope you already know that not all videos shared on your newsfeed are worth your while. These three videos went viral and were on everyone’s lips for a while but, in retrospect, we probably shouldn’t have paid them any attention in the first place:
Dude, Where’s My Chicken?
A girl posted a video complaining about her stolen sticky rice and chicken. It was taken from her motorcycle while she went into a convenience store. The local police who apparently had too much time on their hands launched an investigation and concluded that it was stolen by a dog. It went viral with over 2.4 million views. End of story.
It’s finger lickin’ good enough to steal
I Love My Husband So Much
A busty young lady with prominent eyebrows posted a video clip via Socialcam of herself proclaiming her love for her man while sitting on his lap. There is some kissing and squeezing but nothing of real value to waste your time over. The ones you should look up are the parodies which are much funnier than the original. Lads, there’s a girl-on-girl version done by two prettys. Slightly NSFW.
Perseus Power
A Thai guy who calls himself Perseus is a TV show host. There are several videos of him out there but one that really got attention is where he “sent his power” to his followers through the screen. It came to people’s attention early this year. In it, chubby Perseus asks viewers to close their eyes and meditate. He then appears to gather his superpower as he slowly makes weird hand gestures. He then repeatedly does what looks like karate chops on his forehead and head as he shouts “earth, water and fire” and does more weird movements. Finally, he releases his power while the screen is shaking. We don’t know about his magical powers but we believe in his ability to make people laugh.
Obviously this Perseus is more handsome
MOST HEROIC ACTS BY ORDINARY FOLKS
Ordinary citizens no longer wait around for authorities to do what needs to be done (which could take months, if not years). These are inspiring members of our society who truly deserve every bit of respect and recognition. We send 2014 off with these model citizens:
Wheelchair Winner
The misuse of disabled parking spots at department stores is an ongoing issue that is
still unresolved. When a disabled man posted a video of his confrontation with a security guard at a mall about this matter and it went viral, people started to take notice. Going by the name “Saba Image” on YouTube, he criticised the mall’s management for letting things like this slide under their noses and later received an apology from the mall’s official YouTube account.
Let them have it, sir. Photo: Saba Image
Traffic Hero
Some Bangkokians are notorious queue-jumpers – and don’t for one second think that being confined to a car would stop this type of behaviour either. Fed up with disrespectful and undisciplined drivers, YouTube user Sath Lert decided to upload a video he made of all the lane-jumping cars around Meng Jai intersection. He also highlighted their license plates to make it easier for police to conduct a crackdown. The video went viral and we’re certain it has taught many drivers a good lesson.
Director of Traffic
Taking on two jobs can be tough, but that hasn’t stopped Saree Suphan, director of Prataungtipvittaya School, from volunteering herself as a traffic regulator. After noticing that there were no traffic police or anyone else around to do the job, she took matters into her own hands and can be seen directing cars and motorcycles on the heavily congested road outside her school every weekday between 4-5pm.
She deserves a raise.
