The power of hugging

The power of hugging

After Nurse Pornvarin Nutrawong found that simple acts of love and kindness cured her husband's cancer, she now dedicates her spare time to emotionally and financially supporting other patients and their families

SOCIAL & LIFESTYLE
The power of hugging

In 2004, Pornvarin Nutrawong’s husband was diagnosed with lymphoma. It dawned on her that death was just around the corner.

“It was an emotionally hard time for me and my family,” she recalls. “To me, it was almost the end of the world. I remember how I was crying all the time.”

Although since 1979 she has been a professional nurse at Vajira Hospital, a place where life and death occur infinitely, she admitted that she could barely cope with the terminal illness of her loved one when the doctor said he had only eight more months to live.

After two chemo sessions, her husband lost 25kg and all of his hair. One day, Pornvarin found that he was about to commit suicide. “I opened the door to the hospital room when he was about to jump from the building. I rushed to stop him. We were crying and holding each other very tightly.

“I told him that I loved him and that we would stop all of the cancer treatments and return home.”

Pornvarin then began hugging him, assuring him of her love and emotional support, every single day. To her family, it was proved that a hug is the most powerful medicine because her other half eventually regained strength and recovered. Today, Puchong Nutrawong is working as the secretary-general of Election Commission.

Following the near-end-of-life experience, Pornvarin for the first time understood the frailty in cancer patients and their families with all her heart. This professional nurse has now turned her duties into true calling by taking care of patients outside her working hours.

“I was working at the hospital and found a couple were crying desperately,” she says, recalling the first ever case she ever voluntarily took care of. “They told me their 21-year-old son was in the end stages of colorectal cancer. I fully understood their feelings and their son was also the same age as one of mine. I helped arrange to get them a special room so that they could look after their son. During his one-year hospital stay, I also took him to a small resort to relax.”

Pornvarin further set up a personal fund to fulfil final wishes of dying patients. She began saving “money under the Buddha statue”, as she calls it, to make merit after learning about her husband’s condition. This money has already created meaningful memories for many.

“There was a case of a dying mother with lung cancer who wished to see her daughter graduate,” Pornvarin gave a tearful example. “The official graduation ceremony would, however, be held several months later. With her terminal condition, there was no time to wait. I and her daughter arranged a graduation photo shoot at the hospital. The mother dressed beautifully in a silk dress she specially tailored for the big day while the daughter wore a graduation gown holding her certificate that I asked the dean to issue in advance to fulfil this wish.”

“We set up a small graduation ceremony and took photos at the hospital bed and outside the building. The mother was full of joy. She told me she was very happy and proud. She felt she had accomplished her mission as a single mother. Ten days later, she took her last breath as she laid the photos on her chest.”

Throughout the 10 years since the first case, Pornvarin has granted many end-of-life wishes. Some dying patients prefer death at home, while some worry about their children’s studies. Many want to meet someone or have a confession to make or seek forgiveness. The last meal of their favourite food is also served to bid a fond farewell.

“In a medical aspect, these insignificant acts or small dreams may not mean anything. However, it’s crucial to the patients’ feelings. It’s their last hope. It’s something meaningful to let them pass away without worry,” Pornvarin says.

“I always stress to people that if you want to do something, do it now. Don’t waste any more time. There are so many cases that can’t afford to wait. We never know when the last day of our life falls. Live life fully with no regrets, then we can be prepared to face death gracefully and courageously.”

In addition to death, Pornvarin has learned that life is full of uncertainty. She has witnessed many advanced cases that are still alive while some depart at an early stage of the disease.

To Thai people, cancer is one of deadliest diseases. While other illnesses, such as cardiovascular diseases, strokes and diabetes are also major causes of death, cancer is considered the most serious and fatal ailment — especially lung and hepatic cancers — that makes patients and their families feel disheartened.

“In illness, there is opportunity. It’s the time that gets you to rethink, to make merit, to do something good in order to prepare yourself for the end of your life. Without sickness, people tend to live recklessly and those who pass away by accident never have a second chance.”

The case of her husband has proved that hugs have magical healing powers.
With her patients, Pornvarin also uses the hug as a therapy, through the exchange of positive energy.

“A physical touch sometimes has more power than words,” she says. “There was a case where a patient felt deeply depressed and stopped eating. I went to her and asked if I could hold her. I gave her a hug. She burst into tears as I felt she was anxious and fearful of the disease. In our embrace, I told her I would stand by her and we would go through this together. A simple hug means support, comfort and consolation without saying a word.”

Pornvarin shares her direct experiences and impressive cases in her books, Huajai Lek Lek Gub Patiharn Tee Ying Yai (A Little Heart With Big Miracles) and Huajai Lek Lek Gub San Lan Kwam Suk (A Little Heart With Big Happiness) with all proceeds after production costs — together with earnings from lectures she gives around town — going directly towards her collection of the “money under the Buddha statue”. This small fund has provided 20 hospital beds and 10 oxygen generators for patients to borrow for home care.

“To me, everything is a miracle. My husband’s case is a miracle.”

“A lot of severe cases manage to survive. I encourage those surviving ones and also my husband to share their experiences and give moral support to others to make the patients in the advanced stages of cancer feel that they are not alone.”

In a normal day, Pornvarin arrives at Vajira Hospital early for a morning exercise before
starting her routine at the nurse training department. Nowadays, she has four patients to visit after work.

“I feel happy every time I see the patients,” she says. “They look forward to my visit. When I see the thankful eyes of the patients and their families, it’s the best feeling. I feel the true value in myself. I’ve encouraged many volunteers and my colleagues to do the same. It doesn’t cost you anything. The bright side of this terminal illness is that it opens doors for anyone to do something good.”

Now at 57, Pornvarin already has her retirement planned. She sees herself running a small restaurant business in Uthai Thani while also taking care of patients, which she deems an essential part of her life.

“I’ve learned that nothing is more important than your life. With a small house and a second-hand car, I used to dream of having a bigger and newer one. Now, anything material doesn’t matter to me anymore. To be with my loved ones is more than enough,” she smiles.

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