Her ribbons of love wind around your heart

To celebrate Mother's Day today, Life talks to three brave mums whose strength was the powerful driving force behind their children

The centennial love

Buhnga Temiyaputra's children agree that their 100-year-old mother should be called "The Iron Lady".

"Once, she fell down and needed surgery. She was still holding up two fingers to say [she was still] fighting as she was being carted into the operating room," recalled Col Srisurang Nilchant, 77, one of Buhnga's daughters.

Buhnga was married to a colonel who passed away seven years ago at age 95. Together, the two had nine children and twenty five grandchildren.

The lady was shaking her head, saying the number was still too small.

Born in 1915, Buhnga has been around since King Rama VI's reign. The four-reign woman who now speaks in tiny whispers is still able to recall the events of World War II vividly.

"We were hiding in the bamboo bushes -- even digging holes to sleep in. We also put up mosquito nets around our shelter," Buhnga whispered.

Back then, the family was living in Nakhon Ratchasima. Buhnga's husband was fighting the war in Indochina, and she was left taking care of the children alone at that time. She still remembers, how "the Japs bombed the harbour".

As a soldier's wife, Buhnga was used to living inside the barracks. She helped provide for the family by selling home-made pastries. A pro at making khanom ping (Thai-style meringue), stuffed breads and curry puffs, she always recruited her children to help out in the kitchen.

"All yummy," Buhnga said, smiling. She ended up making more money selling pastries than her husband on his soldier's salary.

Aside from the skills in pastry-making, Buhnga also taught her children to be compassionate towards one another. "Our parents are kind. But mum can be a little bit strict sometimes," said Col Srisurang. "She always told us to share, that we shouldn't fight. We have to respect our siblings. We don't call each other bad names in this family.

"Mum once told us that she had nothing to give us but an education. Some of us now work as soldiers, teachers and businessmen. Some are retired. We graduated with bachelor and master's degrees -- all thanks to our parents."

The centennial lady is fond of playing cards. She used to visit a friend's house for a weekly game -- that was only until her friend passed away. Buhnga is also a big spender with a generous heart. She likes giving away money to the poor. Her children always leave a bundle of 100 baht bills with Buhnga to hand to the less fortunate.

"We have enough," the old lady simply said, "we can afford to give some away."

Buhnga currently lives with her 63-year-old daughter. Her favourite food is som tum pla ra (papaya salad with fermented fish) and spicy stewed pork leg. Extra help is just not necessary for the family.

"We don't hire anyone to take care of her. We do it ourselves," said Col Srisurang, "the job is full-time. It takes dedication, willpower and a pocket full of cash."

Her children said Buhnga used to win the lottery all the time. But when asked if she could give us a lucky number, the lady smiled mischievously.

"No more of that, though. I've washed my hands," she whispered.

Melalin Mahavongtrakul

The whole of her heart

Despite being born with no arms and legs, Kingkaeo Pornchai was determined to live as full a life as possible. She can cook, work on her backyard, travel on her own and also takes up her role as a mother of two.

"I am capable of doing everything other people can," said Kingkaeo, a congenitally disabled mother who has just been recognised as the "Fighting Mother" by Mahidol University on the occasion of National Mother's Day.

"At first I was terrified of having children as I'm disabled but I then asked myself why I doubted," explains the 56-year-old mother. "Luckily, both of my kids were born healthy.

"It's really hard to say whether I confront more difficulties raising my children than other mums as I never really think of disability as a hindrance. So when it comes to bringing them up, I just take care of them as best as I can, making sure they're healthy and happy."

Despite Kingkaeo's positive attitude, her life has never been easy. She couldn't deny that sometimes her disability made it hard to make a contribution to society. Kingkaeo and her husband are also not wealthy.

Back when their children were young, Kingkaeo sold fish and frogs that her husband caught. She rode a tricycle around the neighbourhood and stopped at the market in Wiang Sa district of Nan Province.

"That's how we earned a living," Kingkaeo recounted. "After school, the two kids helped bring me back to the house.

"They didn't really get to hang out with friends as they realised the need to help us out."

Her children were capable of handling all household chores from when they were young which helped ease their mother's life.

"I always teach my two kids to try to be morally good people and to lend others a helping hand," she said. Now her 39-year-old eldest son is a monk. Her second child is a 34-year-old textile designer.

Kingkaeo added that since her husband passed away in 2009, she has been living on her own and had to rely more on herself.

"I was lost. I was consumed by loneliness when my son needed to return to the temple and my daughter went back to work in Bangkok, but then I realised that life had to go on."

Fixing clothes and selling fertiliser is what Kingkaeo does for a living these days. She said customers and neighbours keep her company. Apart from that, she is also a part-time folk singer who is occasionally hired to perform at events. She was also appointed head of an organisation for people with disabilities in Wiang Sa district, a network that helps provide assistance and vocational training to its members.

"I've been where they are. I know well that the handicapped are usually treated unfairly. Those bad experiences in my life have pushed me to be who I am. Now that I'm happy with my life, I just want to help others as much as I can."

Setting aside her small earnings, her daughter occasionally gives her some financial support as well as visiting her during holidays. From time to time, Kingkaeo also visits her ordained son and vice versa.

"I'll keep working as long as I'm able to," she said. 

"Being a mother is not easy. But I do not just give up easily. If a disabled person like me can get through difficulties in life, I bet everybody else can do it too."

Pattramon Sukprasert

Apple of my eye

Due to her positive thinking and the support of her mother, losing her eyesight within less than a month because of optic nerve damage was not a misery for the 13-year-old Kirin Techawongtham, nicknamed Sai. Now, Sai is 18 years old. After graduating with honours from Ruamrudee International School (RIS) in Bangkok, she is about to start her university life at Hendrix College in Arkansas, in the United States. She plans to study psychology.

"We were shocked, but we knew what we had to do. Sai didn't cry or waste energy or time feeling sorry for herself. She just went forward, doing what needed to be done and then more. If Sai hadn't been that strong and resilient, it would be much harder for me. Her strength and resilience gave me mine," said Sai's mother, former journalist Wipawee Otaganonta.

After a brain tumour damaged her optic nerves five years ago, her parents Wasant Techawongtham and Wipawee put Sai through various kinds of treatment for about a year. However, her sight did not return. Meanwhile, Sai got on with her life as she relearned her way around the house and completed her studies at the Panyotai Waldorf School. She also learned Braille, computer studies and piano.

"In the first few years, there were many times I felt sad. And I told myself it was OK to feel sad, but don't waste too much energy doing it. That feeling still comes, but not often, mainly because Sai herself has been optimistic, and together we have moved on," the 55-year-old Wipawee said.

After a year, Sai became the first blind student at RIS, which provided strong support for students with special needs. In the first year at RIS, Wipawee was at school with Sai to help her to get around.

According to Wipawee, Panyotai School's hands-on learning style made her daughter practical and resilient while RIS' commitment to special-needs students allowed her to explore the world. Moreover, she acquired several important skills and a positive attitude about her blindness whilst twice attending the Colorado Centre for the Blind (CCB)'s summer programme in 2012 and 2014.

"Sai is not scared. This allows her to do a lot of things. She would try doing something first to know if she can. And we give support to her and try not to let our fear block her," Wipawee said.

Sai loves learning new skills. She continued gymnastic training and took up the piano, singing, self-defence and muay Thai. She also practised typewriting and learned how to use the computer with a blind programmer using software like Jaw and Tha Thip which can read for those with visual impairment.

Her mother acknowledged that Sai sometimes felt upset, such as when not seeing shows onstage. However, Sai is optimistic and has a sense of humour. She found the positives to becoming blind, making remarks such as: "If I had not become blind, I would not have met these wonderful people."

Wipawee added that the strength both of them have must have come from all the training and also from her supportive mother, a paediatrician who is now 91 but still full of life.

"I am not a supermum who alone made my daughter successful. Both of us got a lot of help from so many people. And I am very thankful," Wipawee said.

Sai added: "No one can say I am amazing or inspirational if they do not know how much my success is attributed to the support of my mum and my dad."

According to Wipawee, parents of children with special needs should stay with the present and take joy in every little triumph of their child. When things get hard, they should reach out in support.

"I think she already knows what I'll tell her, that I love her, and will support her the best I can," Wipawee said of her Mother's Day message to her daughter.

When asked to say something to her mother, Sai wrote: "Mum, you are the best mum ever, both in your actions and attitude... Without you, I would not be standing here, would not have a chance at all. I apologise for having hurt you many times, but please know I'm trying to be a better person, always. Thank you and I love you."

Pichaya Svasti