Why is sunbathing bad for you?
A) Skin cancer. Duh.
B) In this society, you must be Korean white, or you're a freak.
C) It's a selfish use of sunlight.
D) It causes traffic jams. In the UK, a man decided to sunbathe in the middle of a busy motorway during rush hour, causing serious traffic delays, reported mirror.co.uk. He should consider moving to Bangkok -- the traffic is bad enough for him to sunbathe all he wants while waiting for cars to move.
ATTENTION
What's the most effective way to get your boyfriend's attention?
A) Threaten to submerge his MacBook Pro.
B) Tag him in every Facebook post (and post about 20 times per day).
C) Buy sexy underwear. For him.
D) Fake a suicide. A man called the police saying that his girlfriend of one month had threatened suicide online. The man could not go check on her himself, and asked the police to stop her from hurting herself. What did the police find? A woman sitting on her bed, unharmed, playing a game on her cell phone. She said she had just wanted her boyfriend to come over. She was also mad at the police for breaking open her door, reported echinacities.com.
CURSING
Someone was arrested by police for shouting a profanity recently. Who was it?
A) Eminem. Always safe to assume it's Eminem.
B) A manud pa.
C) A policeman's wife.
D) A parrot. Officers in Rajura, India, detained a parrot for allegedly cursing at an 85-year-old woman. The parrot reportedly uses foul language, and was trained by his owner for the sole purpose of abusing his 85-year-old stepmother. The parrot pleaded the fifth, but was handed over to forestry officials to solve the dispute, wrote HuffingtonPost.com.
