Are you man enough to be a woman?

To perform onstage, under bright lights and in front of a live audience, can be a terrifying ordeal. To do so with many costume changes, complex sets and choreography, quick changes of hair, elaborate costumes and accessories is, to put it mildly, difficult.

To top it off, for a male adult to perform as a woman, and pull it off flawlessly, is nothing short of astonishing.

But not for Kanisorn ''Annie'' Prasertsak, the 28-year-old star of the Mambo Cabaret show. As a 10-year-old boy, Annie yearned to be a beautiful woman. Now, she wows international audiences each night _ every dimpled smile, angled glance, wave and gesture is astonishingly refined, as though the girl grew up in the great palaces of European royalty.

PAIN IN VAIN? NO

Annie had breast surgery at the Chatri Clinic in Chiang Mai when she was 19, performed by Dr Chatri himself. When Annie woke up after the operation, she was in pain and ''the breasts were very hard''.

Others who had undergone gender reassignment surgery speak of terrible pain. Vietnamese singer Ai Xuan was quoted on website thanhniennews.com as saying: ''It was like tearing off parts of your flesh,'' she said. ''They anaesthetised just a part, instead of the whole body as I expected. They locked me on the operating table and covered my eyes before making incisions.''

Lan Vy, of the Vietnam-based Blue Sky Aids awareness charity that targets transsexuals, had breast implants in Thailand in 2002, and genital surgery in 2004, and it was even more painful. ''The surgery lasted for six hours and was horribly painful,'' she was quoted as saying.

Annie, however, dismisses the trauma as drama. ''After three weeks of pain, bloody dressings and tiny, tentative movements,'' she said smiling, ''I looked at my body in the mirror and I was very, very happy that, finally, I looked like a woman.''

ONE DREAM TO GO

On-stage, Annie brims with such self-confidence that those sipping their drinks in the audience show envy or disbelief on their faces. The show is marketed as a ''transvestite'' performance, and people frequently ask: ''Are those young men also on their way to becoming women?'' The answer is no, not all of them.

Despite the extremely convincing stage persona, the basso profundo emanating from Annie's pretty face is shocking the first time.

That she is but an imitation of womanhood is but a tolerated cosmic joke to Annie. Her manhood is splashed across all her legal documents; from the age of 15, a Thai man's name is prefaced with nai (mister) on every ID, list, or record. However, she is determined to fight this. The nai title before Annie's name on her bat prachachon (official identification card) only spurs her to save and scrimp every satang she can for genital surgery, her ultimate dream. ''This is my personal choice,'' Annie said. ''I'm exercising my right to choose.''

EVERY SATANG OF IT

Farida ''Jingjoo'' Amitsoon (stage name ''Jennifer''), 22, is from Phuket. Jingjoo had genital surgery in 2004 at Rangsit Hospital. She went under Dr Kamol's knife and could not remember anything unpleasant about the experience. ''Above all, I wanted to have a woman's body, and now I feel like a total woman,'' Jennifer said, 120,000 baht later.

Panuvong ''Kop'' Nimnual (stage name ''Micha''), 27, underwent genital surgery in 2007 at the Praram 2 Hospital under Dr Chirapong.

She paid 70,000 baht to get rid of her penis and acquire a vagina. There was pain and blood and discomfort, but in the end, Micha said, she felt happier. ''When I take off my clothes and look at my body in the mirror today, I can only exclaim in amazement, 'Oh my God!' I'm really very happy.''

Utan ''Uu'' Pengsaard (stage name ''Sonia''), 29, is also from Bangkok. Sonia went to Lop Buri Hospital in 2001 to change her penis into a vagina, under the scalpel of Dr Kamon. She was 60,000 baht poorer afterwards, but it was all worth it for her.

FAMILY FEELINGS

Thai families are unusually tolerant of children who take the transgender route, perhaps because of their Buddhist perspective that considers each person's life as the result of that person's actions in a previous life. Kharma is nothing but another step in the cosmic journey towards perfection.

Even after surgery, the people closest to Annie did not change their attitude to her in any way. Her mother accepted the surgery with equanimity (her father died when she was six.)

''Character is more important,'' Annie's mother said.

''My family and close friends were fine with my genital surgery,'' Sonia said.

Jennifer's family supported her decision. ''My parents accepted my choice,'' she said.

Micha's father, however, felt a sense of loss. ''After my operation,'' she giggled, ''my father cried. My mother was okay with it.''

''You are a girl now,'' Micha's father said, ''so you must do everything properly, the way a proper girl does.''

CAREER CHANGES

''The surgery was very important for my career. Because of the sex change surgery, I was able to work,'' Annie said. ''It was also important for me because I became more confident in dealing with people.''

Micha's life changed a lot after the surgery. For some reason, more job opportunities were available, perhaps because Micha felt more confident communicating with others.

Sonia considers it money well-spent. ''I have no regrets whatsoever, even if I had to pay so much money and endure much pain because after I had my surgery, I got more job opportunities. I was even able to work abroad in the United Kingdom.''

Before her surgery, Annie was a student at a teacher's college. She quit when she learned that she could not become a teacher. ''I felt so bad because the woman in charge said very bad things, that I was not an acceptable model to society as a teacher.'' With the new confidence the surgical changes are giving her, she is hoping she could still have a ''real job'' one day.

It has been 10 years now since Micha had her surgery, and throughout this time her experience could only be described as wonderful amazement _ she has more boyfriends and admirers now. ''Before, when men looked at me, they would say 'Bleh, you're so ugly,' but now they look at me with admiration and smiles.''

REAL PEOPLE

Annie prays that state jobs and office jobs in the private sector will open up to the trans-gendered. ''I hope that there will be no more discrimination,'' said Annie.

''As a ladyboy, we are no less than any other person, we have the same rights to life, we can achieve just as they can _ perhaps even more, as we have better skills and talents in many ways. Just like others, we care, we hurt, we are also concerned about what we are and the effects of what we do to our environment,'' Sonia said.

''I don't care what negative things people say about ladyboys; all ladyboys can do what any other man or woman can do. We help our families, we sacrifice and we work more than most other people. I couldn't care less when I hear bad things about our gender. I am very happy with exactly the way I am,'' Micha said with a toss of her long hair.

''There is one thing I would ask. I wish that people would give transgendered people more opportunities in mainstream professions. We would also like to show you that we can excel in office work, in administrative and teaching positions, not just in the fields of catering or entertainment,'' said Sonia.

Jennifer issued a plea for real openness in the job market. ''Unlike the way most people see us, we are not that different at all. I would ask society to give us a chance so we can prove ourselves, so we can take pride in our contribution to society, and so that we can be proud to be what we are.''

CAUTIOUS ENCOURAGEMENT

Jennifer issues a warning to half-hearted wannabees: ''If you're not sure about undergoing surgery, think it over very, very carefully because there's no going back. Transgender surgery requires real commitment.

''But if you really want to become a woman, go for it,'' Jennifer said. ''Money can be lost and can be found, but we have only one life to live; we must enjoy it all we can.''

For those who are considering gender reas signment surgery, Sonia has this to say: ''Talk to as many people as you can, though in the end the decision is yours. Remember that you don't want to live a mistake for the rest of your life.''

Among their colleagues at the Mambo Cabaret, acquiring women's sex organs is not the ultimate step; some dream of saving enough for phonosurgery to acquire a womanly voice, while others want to save for thyroid chondroplasty, the shaving of a prominent adam's apple.

To Annie, however, enough is enough. ''To walk the streets and have men look at me as an attractive woman is very rewarding. All the pain, the hard work, it was all worth it.'' She is determined to go under the knife once more. ''We only have one life, and I would not want to waste mine by living in a body that I was mistakenly born into. I know that whoever brought us into this existence only wanted us to be happy.''

BUSINESS UNUSUAL

Mambo's senior choreographer, 35-year-old Bandit Suriyanon, comes from Surat Thani, but has travelled to various countries to find ideas for costumes, numbers and the sets used on the big stage. He says that about 20% of the male performers at Mambo Cabaret have undergone some sort of body-modification surgery.

Mr Bandit said that working with performers can be difficult, although those who had undergone surgery are usually more serious about rehearsals and performances. However, they are not as strong or enduring as those who have yet to go under the knife.

''They need more time to rest between numbers. Neither can they do strenuous numbers that require more effort, such as lifting or prancing,'' Bandit said.

After the show, the performers mingle with the crowd in the lobby, and children stare in wonder, while the older ones hide their wonderment behind adult smiles and barely-concealed headshakes of disbelief.

Annie joins the glittering line-up as the audience descends the broad staircase, hoping that someone will take a photograph with her in full regalia. The other performers are doing the same, but she does not implore, call or grab. She stands in a dignified poise, flashing a perfect smile. She is, after all, a princess.

This genteel scramble is neither for fame nor friendship, but money. A photo opportunity with the cabaret performer yields a modest tip. In Annie's case, it goes into the kitty, another step towards her quest for womanhood. Prices have been creeping upwards since nine years ago, when Dr Chatri charged Annie 40,000 baht for the breast implants. Today it costs at least 5,000 baht more.

The intense competition, however, keeps prices down, not to mention the present jlfinancial crisis.

However, even as the cabaret's stars execute their glittering exit, they know there won't be much cash flowing in the lobby tonight. The performers put on their best faces, but for Mambo's international sales manager Tarnhatai ''Pom'' Sarigahkam, it was a dismal night at the box office.

''We have been in this business since I was a little girl,'' said Pom, ''and at this time of year, we would have a full house of tourists from all over the world.''

Pom was stranded in Singapore when Suvarnabhumi was shut down by protesters. By the time she returned, many tour agencies, travellers and holidaymakers had cancelled.

''Fortunately for our club, we have at least three performing groups _ one in Bangkok, one touring Asia and another touring England. In the UK, the Ladyboys of Bangkok is an annual tradition. Our performances go to 10 cities in England, one city a month.

Pom's dancers and performers have learned to take such things in their stride. This is not the first tourist slowdown they have faced. The show must go on, and the reasons are personal _ rent and bills to pay, and families back at home need money. And more operations to pay for. To perform under bright lights before a live audience can be an ordeal; to Annie, it's but a stepping-stone to making a dream come true.