Life’s a toddle

After taking his usual afternoon nap, Gammy wakes up with a bright, beaming smile. He tries to speak his own baby language, but it comes out only as muffled screams. His mother, Pattharamon “Koy” Janbua, 21, immediately knows he is calling her.

With an infectious smile and cheerful personality, it is hard not to fall in love with the boy who was born with Down’s syndrome under a surrogacy agreement that went horribly awry.

Just weeks after the boy’s first birthday and seven months after news first broke of his abandonment by his biological parents, Koy says her life has changed completely. And with the fundraising campaign that followed, so too has Gammy’s.

As Koy and Gammy wander around their neighbourhood in Chon Buri’s Si Racha district, several strangers approached them for a chat. Many ask how they are and offer words of support.

Some people who don’t know Gammy approach Koy and ask why she has a Caucasian son. She usually replies simply that Gammy is albino, preferring not to spend the time explaining her long and painful story.

A DAY IN THE LIFE

Gammy spends his days as most other one year olds do: eating, sleeping and causing mischief. He usually wakes up after his afternoon nap and plays in front of the house, where school kids who walk by on their way home stop to play with him.

When Koy’s two other children — aged five and six — return home from school, Gammy gets his exercise for the day as the three play together. His favourite toy is a football, even if he’s less interested in kicking it than trying to fit it into his mouth. During Spectrum’s visit, he enjoys chasing a squashy ball that Koy threw across the room, showing surprising agility in his colourful plastic baby walker despite still being unable to walk or even sit up unassisted.

On weekends, Gammy’s grandfather takes the boy to the beach, park, market, shopping mall or zoo. “He loves going out. He loves to interact with other people. He is a very happy boy,” Koy says proudly.

While many children enjoy watching cartoons on TV or playing with toys, Gammy is not so easily amused. Koy turns on the TV many times and switches between channels, but Gammy isn’t interested. The only thing capable of catching his attention is the national anthem and the song Tomorrow, which the NCPO uses every day after the anthem at 6pm.

Also high on Gammy’s entertainment agenda, Koy says, are the speeches by Prime Minister Prayut Chan-o-cha. Regardless of what he is doing, Gammy stops, moves closer to the screen and listens to the coup leader’s entire speech before carrying on with his routine.

When it is time for dinner, Gammy displays a healthy appetite. His favourite food is rice topped with roast duck, though he is also partial to banana and Thai desserts. Without teeth though, eating these proves difficult — his grandmother must chew the food first before feeding it to Gammy.

HOUSE IN ORDER

Koy welcomed Spectrum at the front of her new house in Si Racha, which was purchased by the Hands Across the Water Foundation, an Australia-based organisation which helped raise funds to support Gammy.

The two-storey home is located in a standard modern-style housing development. Inside, the sterile white tiles and cream-coloured walls are broken up by sparse furniture and Gammy’s colourful plastic toys.

The living conditions are clean, but far from luxurious. Seven people live in the three-bedroom house; a bunk bed is set up in the living room, which is all but empty except for an old-style tube television.

Still, it is a far cry from their former home, just a few kilometres down the road. The old single-storey cinderblock and asbestos home fronted on to a street which connected Sukhumvit Road and the Si Racha-Nong Kho Road, making it a popular bypass route. Dust and car exhaust flooded the home constantly, making conditions far from ideal for Gammy, who has recurring lung problems.

By contrast, Koy says Gammy is much happier in the new home, particularly now that he has space to run around. A large terrace area surrounds the house, covered with pastel-coloured tiles. Koy has set up a table that looks as though it is meant to be used for press conferences in front of the main entrance. A sign on the wall welcomes visitors to “Nong Gammy’s house”.

Hands Across the Water founder Peter Baines says the new house was purchased late last year for around A$110,000, or roughly 3.5 million baht based on exchange rates at that time.

It is being held in the name of the Hands Across the Water Thailand Foundation, which he says is an effort to protect the house from ever becoming part of a property dispute or from being sold and having those funds used by someone else.

“The house is in effect held in trust for Gammy,” Mr Baines says.

“If the funds we currently have for him were to be insufficient in the future this would allow us to realise the capital growth in the property that has been brought and those funds could be used for him.”

BABY STEPS

Gammy’s development might be a little behind other children his age, but that doesn’t mean he’s not making progress.

When the story of Koy and Gammy was first published around the world, Gammy had potentially serious health complications. Today, he is healthy, happy and pleasant to be around.

Koy told Spectrum that Gammy is slowly learning to speak. Even though she is the one who gives him full attention most of the time, Gammy’s first words were “grandma” and “grandpa”.

Gammy is still unable to walk or sit up straight. Doctors have told Koy that he will eventually walk, but it might take some time since the Down’s syndrome is affecting the development of his bones.

Koy is already looking for a school that will be able to handle Gammy’s condition, although her choices are limited.

She has found one suitable school in Bang Saen, about 20km from the house.

While Koy receives a monthly allowance from Hands Across the Water, almost all of it goes toward caring for Gammy’s basic needs such as nappies and infant formula.

To bring in extra income, Koy is planning to save up some money to open a small grocery store and restaurant in the front section of her house.

HELPING HANDS

Hands Across the Water has made clear that it will not hand over large sums of cash from the donations received, as it does not believe that this is in Gammy’s best interests.

Instead, it is providing 15,000 baht per month to cover the costs of care for Gammy and Koy’s two other children.

“On top of that, we meet all medical and additional one-off costs that are needed,” says Mr Baines, adding several trips to a private hospital for Gammy, as well as equipment like a cot and stroller, have already been covered.

The money is coming from the more than A$240,000 the charity raised online last year.

A major portion of that cash went toward buying the home in which Gammy, Koy and the rest of the family now live. The remainder is being held in Australia in a dedicated account that was established to quarantine the funds from money that the charity has raised for other projects.

“We are in weekly contact with [Koy] via our support staff on the ground to ensure she has all that is required,” Mr Baines says.

He says that while the organisation is no longer actively seeking donations, people can still donate via the Hands Across the Water website.

Mr Baines is confident the support has put Koy in a position where she is better able to raise her children, and that Gammy’s future is now a bright one.

“We see him having a much happier and healthier life than what may have been otherwise,” he says.

“We believe his prospects for the future are bright and we will do all we can to ensure he has access to the support services that will enrich his quality of life both now and into the future.”

TALE OF BETRAYAL

The generosity of donors has been life-changing for Koy, who says she only became interested in acting as a surrogate mother because she was desperate to pay off her family’s crippling debts.

Koy was recruited in 2013 by a surrogacy agency in Bangkok to carry the child of an Australian couple, David and Wendy Farnell.

The agency agreed to give Koy 300,000 baht to carry the baby. As soon as the couple discovered that Koy was carrying twins, they told the agency they would give her an extra 50,000 baht.

But soon after, they found out that one of the babies had Down’s syndrome and they refused to take him.

Koy says they made it clear that they only wanted the healthy one.  

The Farnells told Koy through the agency to have an abortion, but as she was seven months pregnant, she refused. Koy told them that she would keep Gammy, but she wanted an extra 150,000 baht to take care of him.

The total amount they finally agreed on was 500,000 baht, with the understanding that Koy would give birth to both of the twins, and that David and Wendy would keep only the healthy child.

But after she gave birth to the twins, the agency did not contact Koy again. The payment that they originally agreed on was only partially paid. Koy made regular attempts to contact them, but her calls went unanswered and unreturned.

When the news about Gammy first started making headlines, however, the agency ended its silence, contacting Koy and asking if she had approached the media. “Yes, it was me,” Koy replied at the time. “I told them the story because I was taken advantage of.”

The agency told Koy: “I hope everything will end here after our conversation. Do not mention our agency’s name and don’t bother the Australian couple.”

She refused to follow that request.

“No, it won’t end here because you haven’t given me the rest of the money yet,” Koy said.

The agency hung up on her, and did not contact her again. She is still owed 60,000 baht from the surrogacy deal.

‘I WILL NEVER LET HIM GO’

Even though the Farnells told the media that they would be willing to take care of Gammy, their inaction has spoken louder than their words. Since the twins were separated, David and Wendy have not contacted Koy to ask about Gammy’s condition.

“I really want to know how Gammy’s sister is. I want to know how much she is loved. I believe and hope that they will love her as much as I love Gammy,” Koy says.

Koy sent David and Wendy regular emails for two months after the birth, but never received a response. Then Koy heard from Australian media reports that Wendy and David, a convicted paedophile, wanted to take Gammy back.

“I laughed and said they were dreaming. They just felt guilty about the whole situation. They don’t care about Gammy and they never will,” Koy says.

Koy says she did not expect that the couple would bring Gammy’s sister to visit him in Thailand. However, she believes in the “twin instinct” and that, one day, the siblings will reunite.

Koy says she was also thinking about how to explain the circumstances of Gammy’s birth to him when he is older.

“Even if I don’t tell him, someone else will since his story is quite well known. It is better that he knows it from me,” Koy explains.

“No matter how I tell him, I will stress to him that he is my son. I carried him in my womb for nine months. I obviously have stronger bonds than his biological parents.”

Koy says she initially doubted her ability to raise Gammy. “But all those thoughts just stopped as soon as I saw his face,” Koy says. “I can’t see how he will get love from someone else the way I love him.”

Koy promised Gammy that she would take care of him for the rest of her life. “His smile just lights up my world. I love him and I will never let him go.”

LOOKING AHEAD

All the money Koy received from the surrogacy agency went towards paying off her family debt. While that was cleared, she was still broke, and Koy soon realised the extra 150,000 baht she had requested for Gammy’s care was far from enough.

Medical bills quickly mounted, and costs for formula and nappies exceeded 8,000 baht a month. Koy ended up borrowing money again to be able to provide Gammy with the basic care he needed to survive. Koy said she feared falling into the same debt trap that had pushed her towards surrogacy in the first place.

At their old house, Koy and her mother were able to earn a small income from selling food on the side of the road. The money they earned each day was just enough to pay off the interest on the money they owed.

The main income came from her husband, who earned about 9,000 baht a month working at a factory, nowhere near enough to cover Gammy’s regular visits to the doctor.

Koy says even now, with the 15,000 baht a month from the foundation, money is tight, although both her and Gammy’s lives have improved significantly.

Gammy’s future prospects were also given a boost when he was recently granted citizenship by the Australian government.

“I plan to ask about what benefits I can claim for Gammy as part of his citizenship rights,” Koy says.

“It’s not that I plan to send Gammy away to Australia. But I just hope that one day, if I am no longer alive to take care of him, he can at least be taken care of by the Australian government.”

CHANGING FORTUNES

Public reaction to Koy’s plight has not been all positive. She told Spectrum that her Facebook page has drawn hostile comments from people accusing her of exploiting the situation for financial gain. “Why are you using your son to get money from people?” one asked.

Koy has not responded to any of the angry messages, heeding the advice of her husband and parents who told her to ignore them.

“We know who we are and what our reasons are. I do not get upset by the comments from others because they don’t know about me,” she says.

Even some of Koy’s friends don’t understand the choices she has made. Many no longer talk to her.

But for Koy, the whole situation is just part of a much larger picture. When she was pregnant with the twins, she went to see a fortune teller who told her that the children would bring her wealth.

“The fortune teller told me that if I wanted to be rich, I had to change my name. He also told me to make sure that the girl came out first, but that the boy would bring money to the family,” Koy says.

“He also told me that Gammy would be the breadwinner of the house and will be able to make a lot of money.”

She heeded that advice by changing her name, and the rest of the prediction appears to have held true. Koy says that since Gammy became part of her family, she has won the lottery several times. She says even though she had hit rock bottom, she is now back on track and starting to rebuild her life.

‘I WOULDN’T CHANGE A THING’

Koy’s situation, and the media scrutiny it inspired, eventually managed to bring on significant and long-delayed changes to surrogacy laws, essentially banning all commercial surrogacy in Thailand. Koy says she is happy there are now laws in place to protect any future cases similar to hers.

“You never know what kind of parents you are dealing with and you don’t know how the agency you deal with is going to behave,” Koy says.

“I am sure if other women have to go through the same thing I did, they might have decided to go through with the abortion or abandon the unhealthy child.”

Koy wants everyone to look at her story as a case study on the perils of unregulated surrogacy. But she says she has never considered Gammy to be a burden.

“If I could turn back time, I wouldn’t change a thing. As bad as the situation may seem, I got to be with Gammy. He brings such a true joy to my life.” n