Heroes and villains provide highlights

Heroes and villains provide highlights

The year drew to a close on a sad note with the tragic death of talented Australian batsman Philip Hughes in a freak accident. It was good to see the cricket world unite in their mourning the loss of this bright spirit.

But in a year dominated by the World Cup in Brazil, sport also thankfully provided many lighter moments which Nobby had the pleasure of recalling. So let's pay tribute to  some of the sporting heroes and villains of 2014.

No Wonder They Are Good: Given multi-choice answers for the question "who is Jesus Christ?", 20 percent of 1,000 schoolchildren in Brent Cross, London gave the answer, "a Chelsea footballer".

We Know What He Means: "Aston Villa have been out in the bewilderness for a few years." — Dwight Yorke.

Touchline Tantrum: Newcastle boss Alan Pardew attempting to headbutt Hull City player David Meyler on the touchline. Fortunately Pardew's heading has not improved since his playing days.

Pity The Poor Poms: Australia crushed England in the most comprehensive Ashes whitewash in living memory. The English newspapers said it all;  "Annihilation", "Humiliating", "Pathetic", "Shambles", "Shame" "Spineless", "Embarrassing" and "Muppets". Actually that is a bit unfair on the Muppets.

Captain Cook Sunk: In the fifth Test at Sydney, Australian spectators held up a poster: "Only ONE Captain Cook has made a difference in Australia". Alastair Cook was later dropped for the coming World Cup.

Farewell To The Preston Plumber: Tom Finney, died at the age of 91. Originally a plumber, he was one of England's most versatile players and a fine person. Bill Shankly once said: "Finney would have been great even wearing an overcoat."

Wrong Again: The headline in this column on April 4 reading: "Could It Finally Be Liverpool's Season?" Manchester City fans will eagerly supply the answer to that.

Writing On The Wall: In March, David Moyes admitted his job as manager of Manchester United was "much harder than expected." One month later, following Moyes' sacking, the Daily Mirror announced "The End of an Error".

Scottish Mafia Feels The Pinch: Moyes' departure left only one Scottish manager, Paul Lambert at Aston Villa, in the Premier League. Two seasons before there were seven Caledonians running the show.

Melting in Melbourne: Tennis star, fans and ballboys faint at the Australian Open in what USA Today described as "mind-numbingly hot weather". Canada's Frank Dancevic, who collapsed midway through his match said he began suffering hallucinations, thinking cartoon dog Snoopy was playing on court with him.

Game, Set And Match: "I would love to go out on top. Everyone does. But I can't write the end of my story. I don't know how it will end." — Tennis star Serena Williams pondering hanging up her racquet.

Time To Retire: Fifa boss Sepp Blatter finally admitting in May that selecting Qatar for the 2022 World Cup "was a mistake". Well, thanks for coming out with what everyone knew already, Mr Blatter.

Most Inappropriate Motto: Fifa's maxim "For The Good Of The Game".

Not A Bad Summer: "I was happy being a two-time major champion coming into this year and all of a sudden I'm a four-time major champion." — Rory Mcllroy reflects on winning the Open Championship and then the PGA title.

End of an era: Spain's tiki-taka comes a cropper in the World Cup. The defeat by Chile prompted a Daily Mirror headline "Chile Con Carnage". Spanish newspaper AS lamented on the team's golden years: "It was nice while it lasted, but the ending was horrible."

Making A Meal Of It: Luis Suarez, whose unusual gastronomic tastes prompted the Daily Mirror headline "Three Bites and You're Out".

What Really Happened: "I lost my balance… falling on my opponent… At that moment I hit my face against the player leaving a small bruise on my cheek and a strong pain in my cheek.'' — Suarez clears up any misunderstandings.

The Big Yawn: England's meaningless game against Costa Rica being described by the Guardian as "It felt less like an actual tournament encounter than a necessary act of football euthanasia."

No One Saw That Coming: The 7-1 defeat of Brazil by Germany in the semi-finals. At 5-0 after just half-an-hour, everyone was pinching themselves. The only time the Brazilian team looked comfortable was singing the national anthem.

Well, What Can You Say?: "The Shame of All Shames," wrote Rio de Janeiro's O Globo, while the Correio Brazilienze felt it was "An Embarrassment For Eternity". Former England star Gary Lineker called it "The most extraordinary night's football I have ever witnessed."

Frolicking Fish: Europe's Ryder Cup victory over the USA at Gleneagles even being celebrated by the blue and gold fish in the team room after wine was accidentally spilled into their tank. "The fish might have a few hangovers," admitted European captain Paul McGinley. Unlike the players, of course.

Best Banter: Every practice swing by the USA team in the warm-up being greeted by exaggerated shouts of "fore" by the largely European gallery. But they were respectfully silent when it came to the real thing.

Pretty In Pink: "It looked as if he was swinging a flamingo by its legs." — The Independent describing Bubba Watson and his pink driver.

Final Whistle: For four decades the "Voice of Football', reading the footy results on the BBC radio, James Alexander Gordon passed away, aged 78. Although he never did get to say "East Fife 4, Forfar 5", he was a master of his work. As one fan put it: "He told stories without using any verbs."

That's Clear Then: Liverpool manager Brendan Rodgers stating: "I can categorically tell you that Mario Balotelli will not be at Liverpool." One month later, Balotelli was at Liverpool.

Unfortunate Prediction: When asked what new signing Balotelli would bring to Liverpool, Rodgers responding half-jokingly with ''trouble".  As the New Year approaches, the joke is wearing a bit thin for supporters.

Som Tam Rovers: My home club, Reading, being taken over by a Thai consortium. Co-chairman Khunying Sasima Srivakorn said she liked Reading's blue & white hoops. An occasional win would also be nice.

Most Annoying Football Phrase: "By mutual consent", as another Championship manager bites the dust. Everyone knows there was nothing mutual about it, the gaffer was booted out — 13 so far this season and counting.

Silliest Innovation: The decision to award double points at the final race of the F1 season at Abu Dhabi, so third place in Abu Dhabi earned more points than first place in Monaco. Thankfully it got the thumbs down it deserved.

Is It All Worth It?: "It's plastic, it must have cost about 10 quid. It's so bad." — World F1 champion Lewis Hamilton not too impressed by the trophy for winning the British Grand Prix.

Yes It Is: "This is the greatest day of my life." — Hamilton after clinching the world title in Abu Dhabi.

Putting It Nicely: "Reading the book, it strikes me that maybe, just maybe, team sport's not for you." — TV host Graham Norton to controversial England batsman Kevin Pietersen promoting his autobiography.

Onions and Carrots Award: To Glasgow Rangers manager Ally McCoist who was put on "gardening leave" by the owners after a dispute over who was in charge of the cabbage patch.

Not Bad For A Beginner: In 2014, Cristiano Ronaldo netting an amazing 61 goals in 58 games for Real Madrid. The lad looks quite promising.

Battle of the Bulge: New statue of Ronaldo featuring  a prominent bulge… you know where.

Well Done Mate: Coach Kiatisak Senamuang being rightly acclaimed for leading Thailand to the Suzuki Cup title. Please don't sack him the first time results don't go Thailand's way.

A Happy New Year to all readers, and it will be even happier if Reading don't get relegated.

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