Like a lover you see everyday, all the excitement, initial spark and zazazoo that used to come with living here may not cause you to do the double-takes any more. Wanna know how much you’ve assimilated yourself into Bangkok’s quirkier sides? Let’s see how many of the following situations describe you.
1. You don’t see anything wrong with a motorcyclist having his dog sat behind him. It’s totally safe for the pooch.
2. It makes sense for a Thai woman to ride a motorcycle with two legs on one side, even when she’s wearing pants. She’s just being modest.
3. It’s totally OK when someone calls a dog ‘nong mah’ or a cat ‘nong maew’. Thais like to address everyone as a fellow relative anyway.
4. You pet a soi dog sleeping in front of 7-Eleven and say hi to another sleeping near the fridge like it’s no biggie.
5. You’ve mastered the art of eating khao khai jiew or khao phad kaprao out of a foam box without cutting your mouth with that white plastic spoon.
6. You’ve been unfortunate enough to be stuck behind a pickup truck loaded with metal bars that are longer than the length of the truck itself. And, strangely enough, this doesn’t cause you to think of a Final Destination kind of scenario any more.
7. You’ve taken off your shoes and put them behind a line of other shoes because that’s how you queue up for service at certain places.
8. Your preferred way of drinking soda isn’t from a bottle but from a plastic bag with one of its upper corners tied with a rubber band to create a handle. It’s so genius, you can even wash your hands with the condensation that gathers around the bag later too.
9. You step on a loose brick on a footpath which has God-awful trash water underneath it. The brick flips, splashing the smelly water on your shoes. Bangkok’s footpath doubles as an IRL Minesweeper. What fun!
10. You have another unfortunate incident of being wet with water dripping from one of those PVC pipes sticking out from some shophouses.
11. Fellas, you may have tried to move around a piece of kaffir lime fruit in a urinal with your own personal surge of water.
12. Beer on the rocks is your choice of TGIF drink.
13. You no longer pass judgement on people who rub trees for clues to winning the lottery.
14. You are able to talk over really loud music at bars and pubs. You also half-expect to hear a live band playing The Cranberries’ Zombie.
15. The perfect condiment to go with any fresh fruit is a mix of chilli and salt.
16. You realise an electricity pole also serves as a place to drop off your garbage bag.
17. You know it’s wise to go into the movie theatre late just to skip the commercials. This is one of the not so many occasions in life that you should operate on Thai time.
18. The first thing you do when you sit down for a meal with friends or family: you use those pink tissue papers to wipe the utensils as if doing so will make them any cleaner.
19. You’ve made a donation with your 7-Eleven stamps.
20. You fill soft drinks into your cup at 7-Eleven to the brim. The shop assistant asks you to take a sip first so they can put the lid on without causing any spillage. Little do they know that you already had several sips before and refilled the cup before paying for it. Muah ha ha ha.