Well, since at least half of us here today, dear reader, correctly predicted both fact and scope of the Orange Crush express months ahead, here are thoughts on that.
Voters knew going in that Donald "Biff" Trump was the worst man ever to run for political office in any civilised country. On election day, he had a righteous 61% hatred rating. But those voters reckoned that while Mr Trump was the worst man in the election, he wasn't the worst person.
Best explainer of last Wednesday (Thailand time) was the iconoclastic ex-CEO of General Electric (1981-2001) Jack Welch. The 80-year-old big kid appeared on the lowly rated CNBC TV network, and he said this: "The media took Donald Trump literally but not seriously. His supporters took him seriously but not literally." Mr Trump won, the media lost.
The 2016 US presidential election campaign was the first since Eisenhower defeated Stevenson in 1956 that the word "Thailand" (or "Siam") was never uttered. Not once. In fact, the only time this year that the country has been mentioned in US politics was for new US senator Tammy Duckworth.
Speaking of that former combat helicopter pilot, let us remember double-loser and foot-shooter extraordinaire Mark Kirk, who in 53 days will thankfully (should that be "mercifully"? -ed) be a former US senator. Mr Kirk was a "never-Trump" stalwart and lost the senate race to our Tammy. However, he easily won the Knucklehead of the Millennium Award for dissing halfies in general and the Thai-American Ms Duckworth's military lineage in particular. In internet parlance, what a maroon.
With Thailand sidelined from the Trump-Clinton bumfights (mainstream media called them "debates" 5555) there's no immediate answer to this obvious question, "What does the Trump victory mean to me?" Even Foreign Minister Don Pramudwinai, who believes president-elect Trump is full of good intentions, thinks the main effect on Thailand might be an effort to root out Robin Hoods from the United States.
Brian Kennedy, described by our Ariane Kupferman-Sutthavong as a lecturer at Thammasat University's Economics Department, nailed it: "In a world with [Islamic State], Putin and China, Southeast Asia is about No 25 on the list of things Americans worry about." Fine, except for that word "China". Everything about China will echo here.
On his anti-Muslim tirades, we think Mr Trump will be hog-tied (no pun intended). For one thing, US law forbids asking about the religion of a visa applicant. This is one the bureaucrats will win and future president Trump will lose, big-time. The "best" (English translation: worst) he can do is cut refugee quotas to slow, say, the flow of Syrian and Afghan asylum seekers. Relax, Muslims of Asean.
There is no longer doubt that Hillary Clinton is a loser. In actual life contests, she couldn't hold a job to impeach Nixon, then failed to beat a young, inexperienced community organiser in a presidential primary. Eight years later, they gave her an even easier opponent -- a dreadful, unlikeable, orange-skinned, inarticulate, ADD-stricken reality TV has-been. And she couldn't beat him. She's 69 years old and she's not going to play competitively in the premier league ever again. Mr Trump's campaign was run entirely by a woman, Kellyanne Conway. Just saying.
Had Ms Clinton won, the United States come January would have been the 60th country in the modern era to have a female political leader, hardly a "historic" moment. And like the first woman political leader, Sirimavo Bandaranaike of Sri Lanka in 1972, Ms Clinton would have got it because she married well.
Newsweek, prematurely certain in its election-day headline, still accidentally got it right: "Trump will not give a gracious concession speech." No kidding. The US media seemed however to bask in the public's hatred. Brendan O'Neill of Britain's Spectator explained the US media's blinkers for them. "The sneering [press] response to Trump's victory revealed exactly why he won."
But apropos the horrible candidate, hand it to Lord [Conrad] Black, writing in his National Post of Toronto, for word invention. Trump & Co, he writes, have crushed the "Obushton" - the Obama-Bush-Clinton conspiracy to set up an American dynasty.
But crushed, not destroyed. Like a real-life Michael Myers, the Obushton will continue to escape the asylum to plague us indefinitely. Here is the conflicted BBC, one of the world's Top 3 critics of the interminable US election campaign, but worshipful in its support of the Obushton. The day after the election, the Beeb launched the next Race to the White House with this headline at the very top of the front page of its website: "Michelle Obama in 2020?"