As I browsed the photo exhibition, "For Those Who Died Trying", at the Bangkok Art and Culture Centre, one item stood out. It's the photo of the late Charoen Wat-akson, the environmentalist from Prachuap Khiri Khan. It must be a photo from his funeral, as it was also displayed at Bo Nok intersection on Phetkasem Road where he was gunned down on June 21, 2004.
Charoen's photo is one of 35 photo images displayed at the exhibition which came to an end yesterday. Men and women -- local environmentalists, rights defenders and anti-corruption activists who died or disappeared over the last two decades -- were depicted.
Sponsored by the Canadian government, "For those who died trying" is the work of Luke Duggleby, a Bangkok-based British photographer who has constructed a visual narrative that shows perfectly the eerie ambiance marking the culture of intimidation in Thailand.
The exhibition showed portraits, framed photos -- many from the activists' funerals, and placed at the locations where they were murdered or last seen.
Anchalee Kongrut writes about the environment in the Life section, Bangkok Post.
Personally, It was difficult to look at Charoen's picture. I had covered his strenuous campaigns against a coal-fired power plant in his hometown and illegal land purchases by influential people.
I interviewed him several times. We were about the same age, both rookies -- him a novice activist, me a cub reporter -- so we developed a rapport. To this day I still think of his courage, his nonchalance and his ever-smiling face.
While, "died trying" was the exhibition theme, I found three portraits of other activists to be somewhat unnerving.
The first was a portrait of Muslim lawyer Somchai Neelapaijit which was placed along Ramkamhaeng Road where he was last seen, being forced into a car by a group of men on the night of March 12, 2004.
The second was a drawn portrait of Kamol Lansophaphan, the anti-corruption activist and wealthy businessman from Khon Kaen who disappeared on Feb 7, 2005 after he went to a police station to give evidence of corruption. Last is a portrait of Porlajee "Billy" Rakchongcharoen, placed at a shady spot in Kaeng Krachan National Park where he was last seen with park officials on April 17, 2014. By law, these three activists are not classified as dead. They are just "missing".
Death is fearsome. But obscurity can create a different kind of fear, too -- fear caused by not knowing, like walking in a pitch-black tunnel with no end. Pratabjit, a daughter of the missing lawyer Somchai, once described her feelings in an interview. "The perpetrators want us to live in fear then retreat into silence."
You might wonder what actually happens to family members of those victims. Needless to say, their lives must be unimaginably sorrowful and devastated.
Yet there are tales of inspiration too. Kornuma Phongnoy, wife of Charoen, refuses to give in. She has become a leading figure in conservation and rights protection, all the while operating their beach restaurant and bungalow Krua Chomwan, which is thriving.
Angkhana, wife of lawyer Somchai, is now a National Human Rights Commissioner. One of their daughters is a judge in restive Yala province, another one, Pratubjit, is a human rights activist. Son Kamon still keeps his father's work desk clean as a living shrine to keep his memory alive.
They do not retreat into silence. These family members campaign for a bill against enforced disappearance and torture that has been sluggishly handled by the state. The bill is with the National Legislative Assembly for revision.
Society needs to pay attention to it and support their fight to counter the culture of intimidation.
Thai people often believe "we better let bygones be bygones". I do not know if this habit is good or not. It might help us to forget and, hopefully, enable us to forgive. Yet, that could be unfortunate if considered as if "nothing has happened".
I remember reading a book, Night by Elie Weisel, a survivor of the Holocaust and a Nobel Peace Prize laureate.
The author retells his horrendous experiences at Auschwitz and Buchenwald concentration camps where he was sent to be a victim of the gas chamber.
Wiesel wrote a few lines that were mesmerising: "Indifference is the most insidious danger of all." At the beginning of this book, he explains why he refused to let the memory go: "To forget would not be dangerous but offensive, to forget the dead would be akin to killing them a second time."
'For those who died trying' is in Chiang Mai until the end of this month. It can be viewed online by keying the exhibition's title.