There was once a general in<br> Thailand<br> Who thought the country<br> needed a helping hand<br> How he was so frank<br> And rolling out tanks<br> He banged the table and took power<br> over Thailand
Few thought he would stay forever
But Lord, we should’ve been smarter
So we closed one eye
Pretending things were fine
Soon he’d be our longest-serving prime
minister
Like a sage he drew up a road map
He talked fast and harsh, a good old chap
He promised an election
To make things function
Questioning him, and soldiers’d give
you a slap
He wrote poetry, songs and a
constitution
The National Assembly praised him in
unison
When things became slow
He always had Section 44
But it was okay to keep delaying the
election
He took the high road of nationalism
Curse the critics who said it was
primitivism
Oh our beloved Thailand
I’d do all that I can
But the PM’s speech was driving me to
alcoholism
There was a plan called Thailand Four
Point Zero
Our dream glory pushed by the
Generalissimo
Block Facebook, if you will
YouTube should be killed
Pick fights with tech-giants, and there’s
no tomorrow
There were pricey tanks and
submarines
So children could climb and play on
January 14
In weapons we trust
Buy more we must
So we could blow our neighbours into
smithereens
From Bangkok to Korat, the new fast train
Pay no heed to those who cursed it
with disdain
A gift from China
Why did journalists go gaga?
Just 179 billion baht going down the
drain
Like an Olympian he led a mass
exercise
Bureaucrats could skip work and no
one would mind
Take care of our body
Time to get ready
So we could run when the house was
on fire
And he announced a crusade on
corruption
Unlike any government, this one took
no commission
Unless it was invisible
Or it was metaphysical
For we could never forget the GT200
malfunction
His men pushed for a riverside
walkway
That left nature lovers in epic dismay
It would cost 14 billion
Don’t voice your opinion
‘Cos now the new tower would add up
to the pay
Then there was the national strategy bill
For 20 years it would chain us to the grill
March in line
Everything would be fine
If you disagreed, pack up and go live
in Brazil
In the land of 99 percent democracy
Students were detained for shouting
ideology
Hush-hush my friends
Silence was in trend
The void engulfed you in the chamber
of tyranny
Still cheerleaders insisted he was
dazzling
The previous PM was, in contrast,
shameful and bumbling
But when he came on TV
They grab the remote and flee
His address was super-long and no
merry-making
Forgive me for writing this in verses
The PM wrote three just this week, so
I’m not perverse
Three years and counting
The coup machine still running
In poetry or prose, brace yourself for
the worst.
Kong Rithdee is Life Editor, Bangkok Post.