Bangkok Post : Growing pains: are we the children of a lesser god?

COMMENTARY

Packing the family into the SUV and heading to one of Bangkok's high-end malls is a favourite weekend activity among many of Bangkok's young families of the middle and upper class. No doubt, many of you dear readers have witnessed a yuppie parent pushing a baby carriage around a mall _ you yourself perhaps do it on a regular basis as well.

All seems normal enough. Just a nice family day out, enjoying ourselves and conditioning our children to the world of commercialism and capitalism, so that when they grow up they will have their priorities straight.

But have you noticed that the ''babies'' inside many baby carriages aren't really babies at all? In fact, they are grown toddlers, up to four or five years of age even. Their feet drag, or almost drag, on the ground in some cases, as the children are too large for a baby carriage. Another scenario is the nannies. Those who always look uncomfortable in a brand-name store _ nannies, whose job is to parent for you, to take care of the children, not only when you're not around, but also when you're around.

It is interesting to note that the children don't walk, or are expected to walk. Instead, they are expected to be carried around, serviced and doted upon. On the other hand, take a stroll in a lower-end mall and you'll likely trip over little children running amok all over the place. No carriage, unless the baby is really a baby _ and definitely no nanny. Indeed, social division always makes for an interesting observation.

Also worth noting is that in London, I've seen parents walk around with their children on a leash. That's right, a leash. Like a dog. Pretty creative, though somehow it feels a bit wrong, don't you think?

About a week ago, to celebrate children's day, Bangkok Post's television news talk show Postscript had an interview with a 21-year-old student representative from Chulalongkorn University. He was a very bright young man, thoughtful and well spoken. Viewers also sent in comments to say as much. All was very impressive except for one thing.

A question was asked: You're 21 _ old enough to vote, to influence the direction of an entire nation, and old enough to put on a uniform and die fighting for your country _ how do you feel about society still viewing you and treating you like a child?

To which, he answered that he still lacks the life experience to be considered an adult. Therefore, he's a child.

True, theoretically the younger the age, the lesser the experience _ however, if you view yourself as the lesser, or society looks on you as the lesser, then wouldn't you always be treated as the lesser? Wouldn't that mean your thoughts and opinions matter less simply because of your age _ even if at times your opinions are actually more informed and intelligent than those older than you are? Wouldn't that mean your role in society matters less, if not at all, because both you and society agree that you are the lesser?

To which, his answer was that young Thais like to still hold on to their youth. They don't want to grow up too fast. They enjoy being kids and being treated as kids. Which is fair enough, I say. It's a matter of personal choice, I say. But if young Thais are slow to grow up _ chosen to be as such on their own and are expected to be as such by society _ then wouldn't that mean that Thai society as a whole is also slow to grow up as a consequence?

Wouldn't that mean Thailand as a country is also slow to progress? Wouldn't that mean the advancement of a nation is slowed and stalled because its population consciously chose it to be so? Where's the responsibility? The accountability?

Is this why I always hear the older generation decrying young Thais today as being lazy, shallow and apathetic? If true, is it not because the older generation has conditioned the younger generation to be as such?

We have grown toddlers whose parents chose not to let them learn how to walk on their own two feet at an early age. That's how we are raised, conditioned to be serviced and doted upon, not expected to stand on our two feet. It doesn't stop with a baby carriage, of course. Any foreign teacher would tell you a Thai college student is more likely to share a similar mindset and behaviour to a western high school student. This is a generalisation, of course. But there's enough truth in it to cause concern.

We have a bright and articulate 21-year-old young man. He's a lot more impressive as an individual than many older people I know. But he chose to position himself as the lesser. He doesn't mind that his feelings, thoughts and opinions are not as respected simply because he wasn't born in the right year _ even if he's old enough to vote and die for his country. When is the right time to grow up?

Again, it's a matter of choice. Who am I to tell parents how to raise their children while I can barely tie my own shoelaces? Who am I to tell young Thais that their feelings, thoughts and opinions matter as much as any 50 or 60-year-old's, that they are equal to anyone? Who am I to say if anyone should change their ways, if a culture should change, if a country and society should embark on a new path?

But still I must wonder: None of us are stupid. We all recognise and express concerns about the slow progress of Thailand as a nation. The slow progress in our education system. The slow progress in technology, in research and development. The slow progress in creativity. The slow progress in the development of strong infrastructure. The slow progress of the private sector. The slow progress in political development. The slow progress of democracy. I can go on and on, but like I have said, none of us are stupid _ we can look around and see for ourselves.

So it begs the question: Why are we so slow to progress? The answer may be because we have chosen so _ because that most important component of a society, the family, doesn't want our children to grow up. This isn't an accusation, but simply a social observation that hopefully will encourage debates and examinations.

On Wednesday, a director of the central administration attached to the Secretariat of the House of Representatives sent a memo to agencies under the secretariat. Citing observations made by the House committee that some parliament staff did not show enough respect to MPs, the memo reminded them of their obligations towards elected representatives.

In short, MPs are honourable, distinguished representatives of the people. Officials are the lesser and should show respect by kowtowing more, as they feel officials aren't kowtowing to them enough.

Social stratification is very much a part of Thai society. Again, if you are viewed as the lesser, then how can your feelings, thoughts and opinions be respected? How can you be viewed as an equal? But in a democracy, aren't all men (and women) created equal? If not, shouldn't we at least strive to treat all men (and women) as equals?

Should we be happy with Thailand's progress? Or should we try to grow up a little faster, so that we may catch up with others, rather than being left behind _ poor and underdeveloped?

voranaiv@bangkokpost.co.th