It's the holiday season, so take off your colour-coded hats for a spell and simply appreciate the city and the festivities without the politics.
This Tuesday, Dec 25, is Christmas Day. It's a day in which Bangkok celebrates cultural diversity. Christmas trees, decorations and lighting adorn popular spots, music celebrating the virgin birth and falling snows echo in 30C weather.
On this day we celebrate the life and work of a Greek Christian bishop and variations of pagan Germanic and Scandinavian gods who dress up in red and give presents to children. Buddhist Thais drink in merriment, toasting the birth of a Jewish man, who's a messenger to the Muslims, but God to the Christians - smiles and laughter all around. Yes, it's a bit confusing when putting it all together, but religion is more about faith and less about reason, so let's just go with it.
The theme for this week then is smiles and laughter underlined by the confusion of cultural diversity, with the footnote of "just go with it".
The cultural melting pot that is Bangkok makes for an interesting study. Due to an ongoing fear that I might one day get jumped by disgruntled readers, this writer has been preparing for years in the art of muay Thai.
Having trained at a handful of gyms, something I've found worth noting is that while the world rages in religious conflicts, the muay Thai gym is where Buddhists, Jews, Shiites, Sunnis, Orthodox, Catholics and Protestants become fast friends and are united in brotherhood. This does not mean, however, that muay Thai can solve the Middle East conflict. It does mean that we all can find a happy common ground if we want.
The gym I've settled on for over the past year is a very grass-roots affair, where trainers speak in the Isan dialect and drink home-brewed whisky in between rounds. Last week, a German professional fighter and his German coach of Tunisian origin came to train. Being first-timers to the Land of Smiles, they were very apprehensive about the Thai way.
Will taxi drivers try to cheat us, was their query. The answer was, yes of course, but not all of them. Some always try to cheat me too, so why not you? What makes you so special? Advice: Insist on using the meter. You're in the developing world, so just go with it.
The German of Tunisian origin expressed worries about attitudes towards Muslims, as his experience in Germany was not always pleasant. The answer was, we don't care about your religion, we only care about your money. Just go with it.
Both expressed concerns that wherever they go people smile and laugh at them, like when they came into the gym. They explained that in Germany people don't smile and laugh when they see other people, as one might get punched in the face. Are they laughing with us or at us was the question asked, with much worry on their faces.
The answer was, of course they are laughing at you. They laugh at me too. But there's nothing sinister behind it - it's a cultural thing. When excited, confused, scared or just simply upon encountering that which is foreign and alien, smiles and laughter are how we were taught to deal with such things. It's meant to be friendly, conciliatory in fact. Just go with it.
The German fighter then tried to bargain to pay a lesser fee if he came in every day. To which, the response was, see now you're trying to cheat us. But like the taxi driver scenario, it's not really cheating, but rather bartering in one's own self-interest.
The answer was that I pay the same fee every day, so you pay the same fee every day. The only difference is you pay 300 baht while I pay 200 baht. Is that fair? No, of course not - not to the Germans in any case. But to the grass-roots Isan gym owner, it's very fair. This is a matter of perspective.
The Tunisian-German coach then told his fighter not to worry; 300 baht is very little to them, much cheaper than anywhere in Germany. Conversely, 300 baht is a lot to the owner and trainers of the gym. Again, it is all a matter of perspective. Just go with it.
So instead of this discrepancy raging into a match between the angry, screaming, hand-waving farang against the confused, smiling Thai gym owner, we all got to training and became Facebook friends. We went with it.
It is worth noting that both men were very polite and sincere in their queries; upstanding gentlemen. But such a scenario doesn't always play out so friendly-like. Here's a true story as presented by one of my Thammasat students last year on a project on cultural clashes, using a case study of two friends.
In the wee early hours one morning, a Thai woman and a farang man bicycled through the streets of Bangkok. Neither dust, smog nor pollution, not the congested traffic, drivers braking in panic and barking obscenities in disgust can keep these yuppies off the road - the sport of cycling has become trendy among Bangkokians, both local and foreign.
The two cyclists found themselves riding toward a female street sweeper who somehow got in the way. The Thai lady's bicycle swerved and tumbled onto the pavement.
After checking on his companion, the farang man showered chastisements upon the little street sweeper, with the usual loud voice and big hand gestures. In return, the street sweeper looked up at him with wide eyes; she smiled and giggled, one hand covering her mouth. Her reaction, of course, infuriated the farang man even more.
Smiling and giggling for Thais is right out of the unofficial guidebook on how to calm the angry white man in an embarrassing situation. The fact that it had the complete opposite effect and infuriated the farang man even more is simply the tragic comedy of cultural clashes. The unofficial guidebook needs a rewrite.
At this point, the Thai lady tried to calm her friend down, explaining that the street sweeper didn't think it was funny. She was just embarrassed, that's why she was giggling and smiling. That he should not get so angry. That he is making himself and her lose face. Besides which, she did not suffer any injuries, so let's move on. Just go with it.
This here, ladies and gentlemen, is a fine example of a culture clash, literally and figuratively.
We should look at this incident as not about who's right or who's wrong, or whose behaviour is better. In general, when conflict occurs, the Thai's utmost concern is face value, while the farang's is justice. The incident is an all too familiar one. Everyone was simply behaving as they have been taught to by their respective cultures.
Passive and conciliatory is the Thai way. Aggressive and confrontational is the farang way. We also see this often in a multicultural workplace.
The smiles and the laughter - it is quite comical how such displays can cause misunderstandings and conflicts, but here we are. It needs to be said, however, that not all Thais would be as meek as the street sweeper, and not all farang would be as combative as the cyclist. These are merely two individuals who reflect the stereotypes of their respective cultures.
One thing is for certain, though; on Dec 24, Christmas Eve, with one eye open for any disgruntled readers I will be drinking and dancing among the many races, creeds and breeds that make Bangkok home. We all will celebrate the birth of a Jewish man, who's a messenger to the Muslims, God to the Christians, and another reason to get drunk for the Buddhists.
Life is just a matter of perspective, being proud of one's own, but also appreciating those of others. This will make the dialogues between the characters of the fast-changing setting of Bangkok more comprehensible, the plot more digestible.
Bangkok, the melting pot, our common ground, is quite confusing when we put it all together, but the city has always been more about emotion than reason.
True, she's not always pretty, at times she's downright ugly, but we love her regardless, because she smiles and laughs so majestically in spite of everything _ and that should encourage us to applaud her virtues and help to mend her flaws, lifting her up where she belongs.
Come on, just go with it.
Contact Voranai Vanijaka via email at voranaiv@bangkokpost.co.th.