Before we invest 2 trillion baht in high-speed rail, we must first be able to have high-speed traffic, high-speed tax refunds, high-speed immigration queues ... and last but not least, high-speed justice. Parliament will be busy over the next few weeks with the usual political bluster surrounding constitutional amendments and massive loans for murky megaprojects. But perhaps our esteemed politicians should first consider some rather more pressing legislative changes, such as the following:
New Law No. 1: I realise Prime Minister Yingluck Shinawatra is new at politics and public speaking but my Lord, her pronunciation of Thai words is simply appalling! As a prime minister of Thailand, I don't expect her to parlez Francais or speak the Queen's English, but for God's sake woman, when you're reading a prepared speech in parliament, at least try not to sound like you're a contestant on Season 12 of America's Next Top Model. Therefore, by law all prime ministers should be required to undergo a taxpayer-funded speech therapy course before being permitted to speak in parliament.
New Law No. 2: All those involved in producing the programme on the monarchy aired by Thai PBS should be flogged in public and submitted to a parade of shame. Let's hurl rotten tomatoes at them for daring to organise a free and honest debate on the contentious issue of lese majeste. These producers should just leave the Thai people alone, because although we want to be enlightened to new communication, medical and transport innovations, we prefer to remain in the Dark Ages when it comes to trivial matters like the very system by which we're governed.