We're just hitting the halfway mark of 2013, but Bangkok has already managed to win the award for being the world's top tourist spot for this year! Well, that's according to the recently released Global Destination Cities Index by MasterCard, who estimates that 15.98 million visitors will descend upon the Thai capital, beating out other hotspots like London, Paris, Singapore and New York.
While this will undoubtedly give tourists pleasure when numerous friends "like" their lame "Going to Bang-kok! Haha, get it?! Bang-kok!" Facebook status update, here's what MasterCard's projection means for the city:
Average amount spent by each visitor to Bangkok: B4,100.
Total estimated visitor spending for 2013: US$14.3 billion (B428 billion).
Being able to spot some typical tourists who come to Bangkok: Priceless...
The tourists who never venture beyond Khao San
Leaving behind the demanding stresses of their everyday life - work, hygiene, putting on pants - these visitors are genuinely interested in immersing themselves in local culture, as long as they don't actually have to mingle with local people. To have the most "Thai" experience possible, they head straight to the least "Thai" place and spend their time here trying not to look like tourists by doing everything a tourist would do.
Easily identifiable with their fishermen pants, raggedy dreadlocks and fresh Thai tattoos, they are usually found in their comfort zone of Khao San Road eating pad thai all day, and drinking from buckets all night. If they decide to venture out of their backpacker haven (and then, it's still only to see temples or shop at MBK), their mode of transport will always be a tuk-tuk. After they have seen Bangkok through the confines of Khao San, they will usually leave with a great tan. And possibly a venereal disease.
The tourists who view Bangkok as "third world"
Despite the fact that we have paved roads, running water and can probably kick your ass at badminton, there are still some visitors to Bangkok who feel the need to lather sanitiser all over their body when they come here. These tourists will never ever go near any food or drink with ice because they will obviously grow horns if they do, and all their future children will be born with tails. Ironically, these are the same visitors who are shocked that you can't wear shorts and flip-flops to nice establishments around the city.
Their Bangkok updates to friends and family back home usually consist of remarks like, "Do you know there's a train stop called 'Bang Sue'? This city is all sex and smut, gross!"
The tourists who are probably on a "Most Wanted" list in their home country
Oh come on, you know who they are. 'Nuff said.
The tourists who only come here to shop
Bangkok is truly a shopping paradise. After all, you can find everything here from malls and markets to, err, more malls and markets. This exciting fact entices visitors from all over Asia to spend their time buying stuff from the same stores they have in their native land. Usually travelling in large groups, they can be spotted at department stores; in these instances, look for women rifling through merchandise, while bored-looking, scruffily-dressed men in Crocs are holding all the shopping bags from high-end stores.
Outside of malls, beware of the shopping tourists. They like to travel via fancy buses that will hold up traffic for hours as the driver tries to manoeuver the beastly contraption into a measly little soi.
The tourists who never leave
Enchanted by the temptress that is Bangkok (or perhaps another kind of temptress), these visitors become permanent residents when they realise this city is full of weird and wonderful things they don't get back home. They become just as Thai as any local here, understanding that spicy noodles are much better as a hangover cure than fast food. And despite how many books they write professing to have the ultimate guide to understanding Bangkok, we still love 'em anyway.G