One downside to my job - besides the fact that there really is no comfortable way to sleep under a desk - is that people I know are constantly asking me to write about their experiences. For some reason, they think that "My cat looked so cute while sleeping today!" or "OMG, I made the most crisp piece of toast for breakfast" are newsworthy and relevant to Guru readers.
While I usually tell them to take their boring updates to Facebook (so I can spite them by making sure not to click "Like"), this week there is one particular anecdote from a friend that I would like to share because you know nothing gets me more revved up than a heartwarming tale of the douchebaggery that exists on Bangkok's roads.
Yes, we're all aware that it has been scientifically proven that Bangkokian drivers are missing the part of the brain that would enable them to: 1) Follow rules; 2) Distinguish between red and green; 3) Generally not be an entitled asshole who thinks that the roads were built specifically for them.
But in this particular case, it seems evolution is continuing to smite us as some drivers' minds are mutating to include a super-jackass cortex that wipes out all sense of logic and decency.
A few weeks ago, my friend was enjoying a nice, blood-pressure-raising drive on the chaotic city streets. As expected on any given road excursion, someone tried to aggressively overtake her car, and almost crashed into her. So she responded by honking and flashing her lights at the offending vehicle. Nothing out of the ordinary here, just some good ol' fashioned road foreplay.
Unfortunately it doesn't end here.
About half an hour later, my friend pulled into a gas station. Lo and behold, a few minutes after, the same car that had tried to overtake her earlier pulled up behind her.
If you haven't connected the dots yet, basically this car had tailed her for 30 minutes just because they felt she rudely responded (i.e. honked her horn, flashed her lights) to their rudeness (i.e. almost crashed into her while overtaking her car).
This was confirmed when the man driving actually got out of his car to confront her, and threateningly asked what driving misdeed he had committed. His companion stayed in the passenger seat, but also rolled down the window and made intimidating remarks.
Eventually each party went on their merry way after some not-so-nice verbal exchanges, but it's absurd to think that this is what it has come to. I'm not sure what the other driver was trying to achieve by tailing my friend so he could antagonise her, but I'm pretty certain he didn't follow her just so he could get some tips on how he could be a better driver next time, and he certainly wasn't there to apologise.
Plus, when did everyone start having so much free time to follow people who they felt had wronged them? If that was the case, wouldn't we just be driving around in circles all day trying to run down buses and motorcycles?
Granted, honking and flashing your headlights can be interpreted as aggressive and obnoxious by other drivers, and we've all heard the horror stories of road rage gone horribly wrong where someone can get shot or stabbed for these actions, especially if you catch them in the wrong mood.
Should we start throwing confetti at another car when the driver is being a d*ckwad just to be safe? I don't know what the solution is, besides maybe abstinence from driving, but I think it's about time we start modifying Thai cars to reflect the evil within. Perhaps we could start by changing the blaring beep sound into a voice saying "F**k you" so other drivers can hear it loud and clear, and have our headlights flash an image of a middle finger.
Sure, that probably won't help the already high levels of hostility on the road, but at least horrible drivers out there would know they suck.G