Looks like it could be a year to remember

Looks like it could be a year to remember

The BBC did not enjoy the most auspicious start to the Year of the Horse, when, during live coverage ushering in the Chinese New Year, the subtitles on the screen came up with: ``Welcome to the year of the whores. People around the globe celebrate.''

Seems it could be a more interesting year than anyone imagined.

The error was hastily corrected by the BBC, but not quickly enough to prevent comments on Twitter by alert viewers. According to British newspapers, the mistake was caused by a system using voice-recognition software, in which a computer translates what it hears phonetically into subtitles.

Live events are particularly vulnerable to such cock-ups.

It's not the first time something like this has occurred. On a previous occasion there was an unholy row when the leader of the Church of England was subtitled the ``arch bitch of Canterbury''. In another celebrated case, there were plenty of guffaws when Labour Party leader Ed Miliband was repeatedly identified as ``Ed Miller Band'' in a live House of Commons debate. Fortunately he didn't burst forth into song.

Meanwhile, down on the farm

No topic is immune to such mishaps. A few years ago, a journalist for the BBC Breakfast report on farming was complaining about how the pigs were attacking his ``wellies'' (wellington boots). Unfortunately the computer heard it as ``pigs love to nibble anything that comes into the shed, like our willies''.

There were also a few red faces when, in a story about Remembrance Day poppies, the computer subtitles informed viewers that ``millions of puppies'' were sold the previous year.

In a news item about possible plane delays in London, the reporter announced that ``planes took off on time from Heathrow''. Unfortunately the subtitles came up with ``planes to cough on time''.

The National Union of Students was also less than impressed by being referred to in subtitles as the ``National Union of Stew Departments'', while the BBC weather report even got in on the act, one day warning motorists of isolated ``mist and fox patches''.

Engelbert who?

It's not just the BBC, of course. All the international TV news organisations can slip up. Back in 2007, CNN had to apologise to Barack Obama for putting his name as a caption on a story about Osama bin Laden. A big image of bin Laden was headlined ``Where's Obama?''

On a lighter note, the ITV lunchtime current affairs show Loose Women had veteran singer Engelbert Humperdinck as one of its guests. The caption which introduced him read: ``Engle Bert humper distinct''. Not a bad effort, really. Some might say it serves him right for having such a daft name.

All is not Lost

Talking of daft names, many thanks to readers for contributing their own strange place names after last week's column. Admittedly some suggestions featured rather saucy names which we had better give a miss. Suffice to say, I didn't realise there were so many places in the world with the word ``knob'' in them.

A Scottish reader noted that, while mentioning Boring in Oregon, I overlooked an equally enthralling place called Dull, a village in Perthshire. Apparently the two communities have recently been perfectly twinned _ Dull and Boring.

Still in Scotland, worthy of mention is the Aberdeen hamlet of Lost. In 2004 the local council were so exasperated at having their road signs pinched by souvenir hunters they had the name changed to Lost Farm. However, this upset the villagers who stood firm _ they wanted to live in Lost, not Lost Farm. The council eventually capitulated, which means you can still find Lost in Perthshire, if that makes any sense.

Going mad

Another important settlement I failed to mention was the town with the splendid name of Looneyville in West Virginia. It may disappoint some, but the place it is not full of people off their rockers, but was simply founded by a settler called Robert Looney.

We must also not forget the delightful juxtaposition of the two Kent towns, Ham and Sandwich. Then there's the wonderful South Yorkshire village of Wigtwizzle, which sounds like a character from a Dickens novel. And who could forget the Devon hamlet called Splatt, not to be confused with the Welsh village of Splott. They would make a great name for solicitors _ Splatt and Splott.

One of the more intriguing place names is Tiddlywink, a hamlet in Wiltshire which acquired its name from rhyming slang for a place to stop for a ``quick drink''. While on the topic of drinking, there is a hamlet called Booze, in North Yorkshire.

Only here for the beer

On a visit to Devon five years ago, I visited small towns with such magnificent names as Budleigh Salterton, Ottery St Mary and Newton Poppleford. But one which took pride of place was a village along the bay from Seaton called Beer (possibly related to Booze). It is a delightful spot too and like all tourists, I made a point of guzzling a few beers in Beer.

Another place I visited as a kid was the Cornish fishing port with the delightful name of Mousehole. Welsh poet and writer Dylan Thomas once described Mousehole, pronounced ``Mowzel'', as ``the loveliest village in England''. However, I am not sure what the poet would have made of Ugley in Essex.


Contact PostScript via email at oldcrutch@hotmail.com.

Roger Crutchley

Bangkok Post columnist

A long time popular Bangkok Post columnist. In 1994 he won the Ayumongkol Literary Award. For many years he was Sports Editor at the Bangkok Post.

Email : oldcrutch@gmail.com

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