As a regular Facebook, Line and Instagram user, I find it hard to believe that there is an antisocial media app. I recently heard about Cloak (though I think that it’s been around for a while). Cloak is an app that helps you avoid people that you don’t want to meet. It sounded strange at first. But after some thought, I can definitely see its usefulness. If I were a student trying to ditch a day of school, I would not want to run into people who would recognise me and tell my parents. If I owed a friend some money and couldn’t pay it back yet, running into that friend would not be very pleasant.
I’m not surprised that social media has given rise to an unsocial app. All sorts of interesting social behaviour has developed ever since the birth of the web, blogs, smart devices and forums. I’ve read enough blogs and Facebook posts where the nicest people I know exchange a novel’s worth of vulgarity and hatred. I’ve also seen overly nice behaviour on Facebook from some of the most discourteous people I know.
The odd behaviour does not end with comments and posts. There are food pictures, not to mention the daily posting of glorifying selfies, and “vaguebooking” — when people post something vague so others (curious minds) ask for more details only to get an even more dubious response. All sorts of behaviour that would be extremely bizarre in the tangible world are somehow widespread on social media. Why not antisocial behaviour?
I live in the eye of the media, every day dealing with Bangkok’s happenings and trends. The trends keep changing and there is lots going on in the hustle and bustle of the city. But to live in it every day is tiring and often the mind and body are worn out. I admit that there are times, though not very often, when the monotony of chasing the next greatest style makes me want to turn off my phone, freeze datelines, decisions, take a deep breath and withdraw from everything for a bit.
It is possible (and I think very normal) to feel a need to detach from friends, family and work once in a while. There is a point where the fatigue of constant interaction gives way to the urge to find solitude. I think that much like in real life, people may get bored and tired of social media, too. But unlike the here-and-now world, it is possible to turn off social media — just push the “off” button. However, I believe that the appeal is just too strong. There is a sense of gratification when someone Likes or shares something with you.
Posting comments and offering personal points of view makes you feel heard. Reading jokes or watching a funny cat video is entertaining. Online games are fun. And when others are also playing the same game, there is a sense of connection and belonging. When a level is cleared or some of the game’s objectives are achieved, there is a sense of accomplishment. To get the same high in real life is much more effort-intensive.
Cloak is perhaps a response to the trend of people preferring to engage in social media rather than socially in the physical world. The app helps a person avoid meeting someone unexpectedly in the real world, but allows that person to remain socially connected to the web. I think that this trend applies more and more to the new generation of young adults.
Today’s kids and adolescents know well of the differences between the virtual world and the real world. The primary reason is because most attended school where they are forced to interact with other students and teachers. Though, their lives at school are very structured. Teachers plan activities such as tasking students to give a speech in front of the class or assigning students to group projects where social skills such as public speaking, sharing and collaborating are practised. Outside of school, some teens and young adults will continue to socialise with others and make plans to meet for face-to-face activities. But a growing number is resorting to social media such as Facebook as an avenue for self-expression rather than engaging in real conversations. Some teens prefer to spend hours playing online games rather than meeting friends for a football game.
Being antisocial bears no general harm. However, too much time spent on the web means less time practising tangible social skills. Skills such as leadership are difficult to learn on the web and very essential to the success, fulfilment and growth of a productive adult life. When these teens are ready to enter the workforce, they will not be constrained by lesson plans like they were in school. And for the first time, they will need to initiate and apply social skills on their own. For those who are active with activities outside of the home, I think that they will do fine — they have developed their social skills over the years. Electronic devices, for the most part, will supplement and enrich their social bonds. However, for those who spend a significant amount of their adolescence interacting on the web, entering the workforce could be an awkward and challenging time. More complex social behaviour such as dating or supervising others will be even harder.
You may be able to prevent an uncomfortable rendezvous using Cloak, but the app itself is not perfect. What do you do when it fails? Eventually, everyone has to deal with some sort of social awkwardness. Learning to move on is simply a part of life that needs to be lived.
Social media does have its positives. It can bridge distances and encourage collaboration and productivity. When used to reinforce face-to-face ties, it can be a wonderful thing. The tricky part is that social media is a choice; it’s up to the individual to determine how much usage is harmful and how much is useful. If only there was an app for that.
Prapai Kraisornkovit is the editor of Life section of the Bangkok Post.