Another year to remember, or maybe forget

Another year to remember, or maybe forget

Well, we've just about scraped through another 12 months, although at times things did look a bit on the shaky side. At least all the whistle-blowing has abated. Here are a few reminders of events and characters that graced the year 2014, although some you may prefer to forget.

It will serve as a reminder that Thailand is and always will remain "Truly Amazing".

Year of the selfie: Never before in the annals of human history have people taken so many mindless photographs of themselves doing something of absolutely no interest to anyone.

Most appropriate date: Thailand holding its general election on Feb 2, better known in the US as Groundhog Day, a day which keeps repeating itself. That just about summed up the situation in Thailand at the time.

Whistle stop: Whatever happened to all those whistles everybody possessed earlier in the year during the "Big Mango shutdown"? Surely those whistle-blowers didn't all become football referees or car park attendants?

You just couldn't make this up: The makers of the "official protest whistle" being seriously upset that counterfeit whistles were spotted amongst the protest crowds. Counterfeit goods in Bangkok … whatever next?

Slip of the tongue: In a live programme celebrating the arrival of the Year of the Horse in China, the BBC's caption reading "Welcome to the year of the whores". This voice-recognition software can be a trifle dangerous at times.

The walking wounded: For much of March and April, both Thailand's lady prime minister and the opposition leader were limping around after some unfortunate mishaps in the line of duty. At times parliament resembled the Ministry of Funny Walks.

The holy cone: The common traffic cone (gruay) being elevated to the status of "Holy Gruay" in social media after a series of events in which motorists accused of moving traffic cones were assaulted by over-zealous street protesters.

The common traffic cone had become "untouchable".

Biggest hazard: "Distracted walkers", a much-too-polite term for those people who crash into you on the pavement because they are totally absorbed in their wretched smartphones.

Happiness is a warm bun: As part of the "Return Happiness to the Public" we were treated to happiness concerts, happy haircuts, allowed to feed happy horses, watch happy dancers and scoff happy toasted buns.

There were even happy traffic jams. All for free. Whoopee!

Band aid: The curious sight of a Thai school marching band staging a sit-in protest outside a potential sponsor's business, demanding he part with 3.1 million baht for a contest in the Netherlands.

They got the money and won first prize, which would have been more impressive had they not been the only band in their category.

Hello Dolly: When singer Dolly Parton (she of the generous bosom) performed at the Glastonbury festival in June, the Daily Star coming up with the headline "Dolly Gets Her Big Hits Out".

Choo-choo blues: An already awful year for Thai railways became even worse when the exclusive Oriental Express with well-heeled passengers fell off the rails on its way to Kanchanaburi. Just a few days later, the Yala-Bangkok express suffered a similar fate at Bang Sue.

In your dreams: Tourism authorities announcing they would transform Pattaya from "Sin City" into a family-oriented paradise, minus any riff-raff and with absolutely no ladyboys.

The best of luck with that one.

Game of thrones: Curious goings on in the world of tiaras when the Myanmar winner of a beauty contest held in Korea was stripped of her title after she refused to undergo breast implants.

The organisers said they thought the "boob job" would make her more beautiful, a strange statement about someone who has just won their beauty pageant.

Please do not adjust your set: You just can't get rid of that ludicrous blob that turns up every time a cigarette appears on certain TrueVision film channels.

Spare us please.

Most irritating Thai TV sound effect: Boing! (And assorted gurgling noises).

Munchy and crunchy: In the most important news of the year, Thailand was named the world's largest producer of edible insects. "The Isan Mixed Grill" is particularly popular, featuring a mouth-watering combination of boiled moths, fried grasshoppers, roast beetles and deep-fried ants eggs. Yum-yum!

Most Familiar English Expression: "No meter", courtesy of Bangkok's ever-willing taxi drivers.

Joke of the year: The official who insisted that any taxi driver who refused to take a passenger would be fined 1,000 baht.

Wish you were here, wherever it is: The tale of the Japanese tourist who had his heart set on visiting Myawaddy in Myanmar, but boarded the wrong bus in Bangkok and ended up at Moeiwadi in Roi Et province.

He got a free Isan breakfast before returning to the Big Mango.

There must be a point to this but nothing immediately springs to mind: Why you can't buy alcohol in supermarkets between 2pm and 5pm.

Passengers from hell: The young Chinese woman who threw a cup of scalding water at a Thai airline attendant because she was unhappy with the seating arrangements, forcing the flight back to Bangkok. In the same week a South Korean businesswoman had a flight attendant thrown off the plane because he had the audacity to serve her nuts in a bag rather than a bowl.

Anyway, a Happy New Year to all readers and let's hope that 2015 is not too amazing. And may all your nuts come in bowls.


Contact PostScript via email at

oldcrutch@hotmail.com.

Roger Crutchley

Bangkok Post columnist

A long time popular Bangkok Post columnist. In 1994 he won the Ayumongkol Literary Award. For many years he was Sports Editor at the Bangkok Post.

Email : oldcrutch@gmail.com

Do you like the content of this article?
COMMENT