While working at home the other morning I glanced at the clock. It was approaching 11am and I casually remarked to my Thai wife, “I think it’s time for elevenses.” She didn’t have a clue what I was talking about. Admittedly I had not used that expression in years. It must have been triggered purely by the clock being near 11 when I felt the call of caffeine.
For the uninitiated, elevenses is a somewhat old-fashioned British term for tea, and sometimes coffee, taken around 11am. It may include biscuits or a small piece of cake to take the edge off one’s appetite before the more serious business of lunch. However, posh people don’t indulge in elevenses — they have “morning tea”, most likely featuring a gentleman called Earl Grey.
In Thailand, I don’t think elevenses would work, as people seem to snack all day long, no matter what the time. They would also be having nineses and tenses, twoses and threeses, maybe squeezing in a bit of work between the fourses and fiveses.
Tittle-tattle time
When I was a kid, my mum rarely missed elevenses and it was often a communal affair. She only had to mention over the garden wall that she was preparing elevenses and within minutes three or four neighbours would be sitting at our kitchen table.
The biscuit tin would come out and the housewives would spend the next half-hour munching digestives, shortbreads and ginger nuts and discussing meaningful matters, otherwise known as gossiping about other neighbours. One suspects the tittle-tattle was the key to the popularity of “elevenses” in Britain during the austere 1950s and early ’60s when there was little alternative entertainment.
As a youngster, one of the delights of elevenses was that you were allowed to dunk your biscuits into your coffee or tea, something which was normally frowned upon. I recall ginger nuts being dipped in tea as particularly satisfying.
Mornos and smokos
Nearly every country has their own version of elevenses. In Australia it used to be known as a “smoko”, which as the name implies, usually involved having a quick cigarette along with a cup of tea or coffee. For health reasons “smokos” are now virtually banned in Australian workplaces. However, in the Australian navy you can still enjoy “mornos” which is very similar to elevenses. It is also a rather useful word in Scrabble if you are desperate.
Hobbits and bears
Elevenses occasionally sneak into literature. In JRR Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings it is the second meal of the day taken by the hobbits. Many people mistakenly believe the word elevenses was actually invented by Tolkien, but it was around long before the author. The expression was even used in the US in the 19th century for a late-morning whiskey break.
Another literary character who absolutely adored elevenses was AA Milne’s Winnie-the-Pooh, although for the bear it was not coffee or tea but a “smackeral” of honey on bread with condensed milk.
The bear always knew when it was the right time for elevenses. Winnie noted: “When late morning rolls around and you’re feeling a bit out of sorts, don’t worry, you’re probably just a little eleven o’clockish.”
So next time you are feeling a “little eleven o’clockish”, it might be an appropriate time for a cuppa, or even a smackeral of honey.
Alice’s buns
At work in the UK we also had the afternoon tea break. The tea lady became an English institution after the war and just about every office had one.
During my year in a London office in 1968, the highlight of the afternoon was about three o’clock when Alice the tea lady arrived with her trolley and a big urn of tea and assorted pastries.
Alice was a cheerful middle-aged lady and had to put up with cheeky non-PC jokes from young office boys about how her buns or doughnuts looked very tasty. She took it all in good spirit and could dish it out too, so there was no harm done and plenty of laughs.
Alas, the tea lady was eventually replaced by vending machines, which, apart from producing ghastly liquids bearing no resemblance to coffee or tea, had a nasty habit of breaking down. The tea lady never broke down.
Fred knows best
The role of the tea-break amongst British workmen is epitomised in the 1982 Bernard Cribbins novelty song Right Said Fred, which became an anthem for workers. It featured three workmen unsuccessfully struggling to move a heavy object in a house from one place to another.
The lyrics included: “Tried to shift it/couldn’t even lift it” with each verse ending in the life-saving “And so, we had a cup of tea”. After six cups of tea they still hadn’t solved the situation and eventually decide to leave the object “standing on the landing”.
As Cribbins notes in the song’s final line “you never get nowhere if you’re too hasty”. Sound advice.
Maddest tea party
As a kid, the wonderful drawings of Sir John Tenniel in Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland really captured the imagination, particularly the tea party, featuring the March Hare, the Mad Hatter looking totally insane, the Dormouse and Alice.
The Hatter would go on to recite “Twinkle, twinkle little bat” while the Dormouse was being stuffed into the tea pot. Now that’s what you call a real tea party.
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