Aliens of Thailand unite, you have nothing to lose but your gold and silver otters. So put down your paper hand jobs and, whatever else you do, do not gas party animals or berth blanket mitt work.
This may seem flippant, but it was hard to know what else to make of the Ministry of Labour’s list of banned professions for foreigners that circulated far and wide online last week. All those activities are banned, according to the badly translated list the ministry quickly took offline. There were two versions of the page titled "Career aliens do not" that barely made sense as it outlined 39 occupations "set in professional and video tea alien life that do not".
The list started with “the proletariat”, and among the more memorable entries were "the sale of every page" and "the curl of beauty", the latter having something to do with hairdressing. "Lghin a job" was less a job for Google Translate than for Douglas Adams' Babel fish.
The list justifiably got a lot of laughs, and no doubt caused great embarrassment at the Ministry of Labour. Someone with a modicum of English or common sense yanked it offline, after the screenshots were captured for posterity and shared on social media. By the end of the week an intelligible version of the list was posted — otters were nowhere to be found (they meant ornaments) and the mystery of the “paper hand job” was solved since it really referred to making mulberry paper manually. For the record, “berth blanket mitt work” meant making mattresses and quilts.
It would be easy to read too much into the bad language. Some have suggested it is emblematic of a nationwide failing to grasp English, and point to restaurant menus where poultry gizzards are called “machine in the duck” and crispy pork is known as “frame pig”. Others said it was yet another blight on the reputation of the Thai education system. It was also observed that nothing on the list prohibited a foreigner from helping with the English.
This is unfair, since the mangled translation is clearly an aberration. Most government communications in English can be easily understood and the subtitles accompanying junta leader Prayut Chan-o-cha’s Friday evening broadcasts, while occasionally tortuous, are intelligible. How anyone approved the list for publication on the ministry’s website, when public communications in state agencies are subject to several checks, is a fair question. It is unclear whether the ministry was a victim of mismanagement, hacking or something more sinister. At any rate, it should be noted the ministry fixed the problem swiftly.
A more serious issue than one shoddy translation is why the Labour Ministry is looking at protectionism again now, only months before the Asean Economic Community comes into effect. Sources in bureaucratic circles suggest the government is becoming stricter with enforcement as it is worried Thais will lose out in the job market to Myanmar, Cambodians and Filipinos. This is where the logic gets muddled. Protectionism is a hopelessly conservative and unhelpful reaction to the AEC, as improving skills and emphasising competitiveness would allow the country to take advantage of the change. Also, the jobs being reserved for Thais include making alms bowls, rolling cigarettes and wood carving — hardly the driving forces of a 21st century economy. The decree has been around, in one translation or another, since the early days of military dictatorship under Plaek Phibulsonggram. Military regimes have come and gone in the nearly 60 years since his reign ended, but the restrictions over foreign employment have more or less stayed the same throughout.
It is long overdue for an update, but it is hardly the only legacy of military dictatorships past that impinge on life today. Another glaring example is the laws governing alcohol sales, a legislative relic left behind by Thanom Kittikachorn — who was otherwise famous for staging a coup against himself. The midnight-11am and 2-5pm ban on alcohol sales is so unthinkingly enforced even non-alcoholic beer cannot be purchased in supermarkets during those times. This is patently ridiculous: a law meant to prevent public intoxication is being used to stop the sale of an alcohol-free alternative. The time restrictions are nonsensical in an era when an increasing number of people are working nights and odd hours, and they fly in the face of logic. Few people buy bottles of wine or spirits mid-afternoon in order to binge drink on the steps outside a convenience store. A responsible drinking culture should be encouraged, but the laws as they stand do nothing to help.
In both cases, outdated laws enacted by dictators have been perpetuated for their own sake. In both cases, Thailand is left looking like a joke. In both cases, the laws should be changed to reflect the times.