August 31, 1999
We care Love on the line By adapting Buddhism's five precepts and stressing positivity and optimism, Sribaitong Boonpradub (3rd right) seeks to give people a better understanding of themselves so they can cope with all the complexities life throws at them. Pictures by YINGYONG UN-ANONGRAK All too often good Samaritans find themselves drained and with little energy for themselves and their families. The Love Line Family Centre aims to help them find a clearer way forward with greater self-awareness Ukrit Kungsawanich Vichai Isayapao, 48, worked as a volunteer with many social organisations, devoting hours of his free time to them every week. And yet, despite his good work, his personal life was a mess and he didn't even realise it. An electronic appliance mechanic, Mr Vichai's marriage finally ended when he brought an orphan home. He said: "My wife was furious and said she wanted a divorce. She said it had been hard enough caring for our two kids on her own. Back then I thought she was heartless, but now I realise I was totally wrong to put that extra burden on her." What helped him come to this realisation was counselling with the Love Line Family Centre (LLFC). Dentist and social worker Sribaitong Boonpradub, 47, set up the LLFC counselling service 30 years ago as a one-woman effort. The inspiration for her work came after seeing so many of her volunteer-worker friends passionately helping others-and yet often losing themselves and their own happiness and well-being in the process. Through the centre she reaches out to people in crisis, most are people who know her personally, or come to her after recommendations from friends. By adapting the Buddhist principles of the five precepts, and stressing positivity and optimism, she seeks to give people a better understanding of themselves and clearer self-awareness so they can deal with the crisis more effectively. She sees a particular need for people to look at how they function in social situations-most importantly in their family structure and in their work environment. Today Mr Vichai says: "I came to understand I was helping others because I longed for love and attention. I wanted to look good in the public eye." Pissamai Nava-a-soktakoonl ... As an adult I realised when I was younger I needed attention and that's why I acted so recklessly with my family. Today he is still divorced, but only on paper. He is back living with his ex-wife and two children. And getting back together on a permanent basis is now more likely since he realised he has serious obligations to his family as well as his social work. Mrs Sribaitong is involved in many community services projects through the Santi Asoke Temple in Bangkok. Apart from LLFC, her other activities include an anti-Aids programme in schools and a free lunch service for poor children. Most of her works focus on helping people mentally and emotionally, rather than financially. She said: "For more than 30 years, I have tried my best to teach people the importance of the five Buddhist precepts. If people really observed basic morality, we would live in a peaceful society." She started the LLFC to help those who want to help others, but need support themselves. She said: "There are so many philanthropists out there who help the poor, but they need help with their own personal lives. They need to get in touch with themselves. And that is my job at LLFC." And after people like Mr Vichai get a clearer insight of themselves they are much more likely to be successful at helping others. Many people have been helped by the LLFC and some now work with Mrs Sribaitong. One such person is Vawrung Navabooniyom, a Master's degree student from Mahidol University, who now works as Mrs Sribaitong's personal secretary. However, the two women met initially as counsellor and client. Ms Vawrung started doing volunteer work in college. "I worked with many groups and I thought I was so lucky to be friends with such loving people." But the more involved she got in charities, the more she realised some of the volunteers were really only in search of fame and praise. However, despite her frustrations she could not say anything as she thought no one would believe her. Eventually the frustrations built up so much that she quit being involved in volunteer work. "I don't know why I was suffering so much. At that time, I was totally lost.," she said. Then she met Mrs Sribaitong. Through counselling she regained her confidence and found the strength to get involved in helping others again. Mrs Sribaitong said: "When I first met her I knew she needed help. So I asked her 'Do you believe in karma?' She couldn't answer me." Ms Vawrung had questioned why good people often don't get good things back in return. Vichai Isayapao ... I came to understand I was helping others because I longed for love and attention. I wanted to look good in the public eye. Mrs Sribaitong explained to her: A good person is happy for something they have done. You shouldn't look at the end results as long as you are happy in that moment. Two years on and Ms Vawrung still remembers the most valuable lesson she has learned. "The most important thing she taught me was not to compare myself with others. I have to be optimistic and stay positive, " she said. Mrs Sribaitong also works with troubled youngsters and teenagers. However she believes people usually make mistakes not because they are fundamentally bad, but because they do not have proper parental guidance and care. Many young people also are spoiled by parents who want to make up for their lack of time with expensive gifts. She said: "The issue of teenagers with problems is not as complicated as many think." "Children who are short of love rebel. They will turn to drugs and sex because that's how they can get attention from their families. They are saying to their parents, 'Did you see me? I am here'." Pissamai Nava-a-soktakoonl, 34, was a single child who had everything except love and understanding. She was desperate to live on her own. "I was fearless and independent. As an adult I have realised I needed attention, and that's why I acted so recklessly with my family." At 16, she started to work in projects to help the underprivileged. However, she was fundamentally unhappy with herself but didn't know where to turn to. Eventually she found the LLFC. Mrs Sribaitong said: "Sometimes parents think they have done their best giving the kids everything, but children might not need things. The real issue is often that parents are confused about themselves, so how could they understand their children?" It has fallen into the role of the LLFC to fill this gap of love and understanding. Mrs Sribaitong uses her version of the five precepts to turn troubled people into better-adjusted, balanced individuals. Her adaptation of the five precepts has proved easy for people to grasp. She said: "I changed the five rules to the five profits-things that you will receive from following the basic teachings." She teaches if you act properly and stay true to the golden rules: _ You will not harm others and yourself; _ You will be rich (enough to help others); _ You will have a happy family; _ You will be able to make others happy; _ And you will be able to solve all the problems you might face. She said: "People are very negative and throw bad comments at each other. Parents put down their children. Men hit their wives. All these things put the family in jeopardy." Vawrung Navabooniyom ... The most important thing she taught me was not to compare myself with others. I have to be optimistic and stay positive. Ms Vawrung said: "Mrs Sribaitong has different ways of making people think. For example, if she has a family getting counselling she might ask them to write a play about real life and perform it in front of a group. "When this has happened, after the show we find many people in the audience and many players are in tears. This kind of thing can help families get back into better shape. It helps them understand what is going wrong in their relationships." Mrs Sribaitong said when she helps people through family counselling she needs the whole family to be there. "I let the children write down one thing they would ask from their parents. In my course, parents have to listen to the kids," she said. Now many of those who received counselling from the LLFC live in greater harmony with the other members of their family, and many have even become involved in social projects. Mrs Sribaitong said: "Now I am moving onto the next step. I started with one person-me-30 years ago, and today I have a great group of staff who are ready to carry on the mission. Love is what holds us together as if we are a family." If you would like more information about Mrs Sribaitong's social programmes or the counselling service you can contact her at: 67/20 Soi Phutthasathan Santi-Asoke, Nawamin Road, Khlong Kum, Bung Kum District, Bangkok 10240, or call (01) 625-5056. "We Care" is a weekly series honouring people who believe in giving. Apart from supporting these causes, you can also let us know about people who unselfishly help others so we can make more people aware of their efforts. Fax 'We Care' on 240-3668 or call 240-3700 ext 3208 or 3212. Email can be sent to: <sanitsuda@bangkokpost.net>. For a comprehensive list of charities covered by Outlook's 'We Care' weekly series, see the Bangkok Post Web site at <http://www.bangkokpost.net/outlookwecare/>.		Current Issues in Thailand Bangkok Post Year-end Economic Review NEW! 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